Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ]
30 Aug 2020, 2:58 pm
30 Aug 2020, 4:36 pm
rache123 wrote:
I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one in my family from the outside looking in and see everything wrong with it. People will take one look at us and go “wow these people have it all.” When in reality my aunt has major depression and ADHD and had anorexia for a few years. Then you get my mother who uses religion like it’s her coping mechanism for everything. I have no idea what traumas she’s been through but I feel like it was something major and because of it I cannot connect to my own mother (I know that my aunt was molested by her teacher at 12 and had to see this man at her church until she left for college. It makes me wonder what happened with my mother and if she’s had the same teacher at their school). I don’t know anything about my mother’s past and it wasn’t until my 20s that I realized that that is abnormal for someone my age to not know. Every time I would speak to her about what is bothering me, she would basically just tell me to let it go or give it up to God in hopes that it would magically solve your problems. I’m not going to get into what these problems are because that’s a whole other can of worms that I don’t want to open, and I feel like I’m unworthy of feeling this way because I’ve known people who had it so much worse than me. It didn’t help that I was in a highly toxic “friendship” over the years that showed signs of clinical narcissism and had a smear campaign against me, which f****d me up even more. The bullying didn’t help either. So many women in my family are f*****g mentally ill, but for some reason some can not and will not admit to it.
So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
Definitely aren't the only one with families like this. My intermediate family is quite screwed up. My mother was neglected as a child and has some issues maybe sociopathy idk. My dad has all sorts of issues to he has a ridiculous amount of joint probelms which it's become evident is genetic, along with adhd and I think a history of mental illness, also social anxiety.. So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
My step-mom has bipolar. My sister has adhd and fibermialga, Social phobia (not sure if dx'd), and a mood disorder i think. She along with me and my brother was neglected and abused by my mother. My brother is autistic as well, has had some depression, social anxiety, adhd and diabetes. he's definitely higher functioning than me. Me? Well, I have adhd, dysgraphia, pdd-nos, social phobia, and PTSD (not diagnosed with that one tho) Plus burnout has screwed my life up since 13 so that's amazing. I'm sure lots of people on the spectrum have mental illness running in the family. Don't worry though it gets better. You should seek help, I didn't for much the same reasons and it definitely cost me alot. Don't let it spiral. There's nothing wrong with getting help.
30 Aug 2020, 5:10 pm
Pieplup wrote:
rache123 wrote:
I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one in my family from the outside looking in and see everything wrong with it. People will take one look at us and go “wow these people have it all.” When in reality my aunt has major depression and ADHD and had anorexia for a few years. Then you get my mother who uses religion like it’s her coping mechanism for everything. I have no idea what traumas she’s been through but I feel like it was something major and because of it I cannot connect to my own mother (I know that my aunt was molested by her teacher at 12 and had to see this man at her church until she left for college. It makes me wonder what happened with my mother and if she’s had the same teacher at their school). I don’t know anything about my mother’s past and it wasn’t until my 20s that I realized that that is abnormal for someone my age to not know. Every time I would speak to her about what is bothering me, she would basically just tell me to let it go or give it up to God in hopes that it would magically solve your problems. I’m not going to get into what these problems are because that’s a whole other can of worms that I don’t want to open, and I feel like I’m unworthy of feeling this way because I’ve known people who had it so much worse than me. It didn’t help that I was in a highly toxic “friendship” over the years that showed signs of clinical narcissism and had a smear campaign against me, which f****d me up even more. The bullying didn’t help either. So many women in my family are f*****g mentally ill, but for some reason some can not and will not admit to it.
So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
Definitely aren't the only one with families like this. My intermediate family is quite screwed up. My mother was neglected as a child and has some issues maybe sociopathy idk. My dad has all sorts of issues to he has a ridiculous amount of joint probelms which it's become evident is genetic, along with adhd and I think a history of mental illness, also social anxiety.. So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
My step-mom has bipolar. My sister has adhd and fibermialga, Social phobia (not sure if dx'd), and a mood disorder i think. She along with me and my brother was neglected and abused by my mother. My brother is autistic as well, has had some depression, social anxiety, adhd and diabetes. he's definitely higher functioning than me. Me? Well, I have adhd, dysgraphia, pdd-nos, social phobia, and PTSD (not diagnosed with that one tho) Plus burnout has screwed my life up since 13 so that's amazing. I'm sure lots of people on the spectrum have mental illness running in the family. Don't worry though it gets better. You should seek help, I didn't for much the same reasons and it definitely cost me alot. Don't let it spiral. There's nothing wrong with getting help. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
My mom wasn't abusive per we, but she was emotionally unavailable and still is with some aspects to her person.
30 Aug 2020, 5:45 pm
rache123 wrote:
Pieplup wrote:
rache123 wrote:
I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one in my family from the outside looking in and see everything wrong with it. People will take one look at us and go “wow these people have it all.” When in reality my aunt has major depression and ADHD and had anorexia for a few years. Then you get my mother who uses religion like it’s her coping mechanism for everything. I have no idea what traumas she’s been through but I feel like it was something major and because of it I cannot connect to my own mother (I know that my aunt was molested by her teacher at 12 and had to see this man at her church until she left for college. It makes me wonder what happened with my mother and if she’s had the same teacher at their school). I don’t know anything about my mother’s past and it wasn’t until my 20s that I realized that that is abnormal for someone my age to not know. Every time I would speak to her about what is bothering me, she would basically just tell me to let it go or give it up to God in hopes that it would magically solve your problems. I’m not going to get into what these problems are because that’s a whole other can of worms that I don’t want to open, and I feel like I’m unworthy of feeling this way because I’ve known people who had it so much worse than me. It didn’t help that I was in a highly toxic “friendship” over the years that showed signs of clinical narcissism and had a smear campaign against me, which f****d me up even more. The bullying didn’t help either. So many women in my family are f*****g mentally ill, but for some reason some can not and will not admit to it.
So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
Definitely aren't the only one with families like this. My intermediate family is quite screwed up. My mother was neglected as a child and has some issues maybe sociopathy idk. My dad has all sorts of issues to he has a ridiculous amount of joint probelms which it's become evident is genetic, along with adhd and I think a history of mental illness, also social anxiety.. So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
My step-mom has bipolar. My sister has adhd and fibermialga, Social phobia (not sure if dx'd), and a mood disorder i think. She along with me and my brother was neglected and abused by my mother. My brother is autistic as well, has had some depression, social anxiety, adhd and diabetes. he's definitely higher functioning than me. Me? Well, I have adhd, dysgraphia, pdd-nos, social phobia, and PTSD (not diagnosed with that one tho) Plus burnout has screwed my life up since 13 so that's amazing. I'm sure lots of people on the spectrum have mental illness running in the family. Don't worry though it gets better. You should seek help, I didn't for much the same reasons and it definitely cost me alot. Don't let it spiral. There's nothing wrong with getting help. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
My mom wasn't abusive per we, but she was emotionally unavailable and still is with some aspects to her person.30 Aug 2020, 10:32 pm
Pieplup wrote:
rache123 wrote:
Pieplup wrote:
rache123 wrote:
I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one in my family from the outside looking in and see everything wrong with it. People will take one look at us and go “wow these people have it all.” When in reality my aunt has major depression and ADHD and had anorexia for a few years. Then you get my mother who uses religion like it’s her coping mechanism for everything. I have no idea what traumas she’s been through but I feel like it was something major and because of it I cannot connect to my own mother (I know that my aunt was molested by her teacher at 12 and had to see this man at her church until she left for college. It makes me wonder what happened with my mother and if she’s had the same teacher at their school). I don’t know anything about my mother’s past and it wasn’t until my 20s that I realized that that is abnormal for someone my age to not know. Every time I would speak to her about what is bothering me, she would basically just tell me to let it go or give it up to God in hopes that it would magically solve your problems. I’m not going to get into what these problems are because that’s a whole other can of worms that I don’t want to open, and I feel like I’m unworthy of feeling this way because I’ve known people who had it so much worse than me. It didn’t help that I was in a highly toxic “friendship” over the years that showed signs of clinical narcissism and had a smear campaign against me, which f****d me up even more. The bullying didn’t help either. So many women in my family are f*****g mentally ill, but for some reason some can not and will not admit to it.
So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
Definitely aren't the only one with families like this. My intermediate family is quite screwed up. My mother was neglected as a child and has some issues maybe sociopathy idk. My dad has all sorts of issues to he has a ridiculous amount of joint probelms which it's become evident is genetic, along with adhd and I think a history of mental illness, also social anxiety.. So now I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my therapist, who I won’t be able to see very much anymore due to financial reasons. I basically have to do everything on my own to get better even though I’m pretty much broke and still live with my parents in my mid-20s, and have no one else to lean on. The mentality of my family is that of simply “let your pain go” or “since you’re so powerless against your mental illness that you must give it up to God and you’re not strong enough to fight this on your own” type BS, even though they won’t admit it.
Then there’s the fact that ADHD medications f****d me up so bad that I developed severe insomnia and my OCD tendencies due to my Aspergers got much worse. The problem was that if I didn’t take medications, then I would not have graduated and would have been put in an institution because I wouldn’t be able to find proper work without a GED.
I have a useless associates degree that has failed to help me find work and now I’m working food service jobs that make me so anxious that I want to literally die.
Add the cherry on top, and I am too anxious and depressed to make friends. I don’t bother to keep in touch or get to know people on a personal level due to fear of vulnerability now. It’s been kind of like that since I was 13 but got worse as I got older.
I’ve resorted to self harm and am starting to get into drinking. And sometimes I overeat to where I get sick and want to force myself to throw up.
The things that go on in my head that I want to do to myself and the people who've wronged me are so explicit, that I am too afraid to tell anyone without be labeled as crazy.
I don’t know how much longer I want to go on. I don’t know what’s keeping myself from wanting to die now, all I know is that if it were to happen I just wouldn't care.
My step-mom has bipolar. My sister has adhd and fibermialga, Social phobia (not sure if dx'd), and a mood disorder i think. She along with me and my brother was neglected and abused by my mother. My brother is autistic as well, has had some depression, social anxiety, adhd and diabetes. he's definitely higher functioning than me. Me? Well, I have adhd, dysgraphia, pdd-nos, social phobia, and PTSD (not diagnosed with that one tho) Plus burnout has screwed my life up since 13 so that's amazing. I'm sure lots of people on the spectrum have mental illness running in the family. Don't worry though it gets better. You should seek help, I didn't for much the same reasons and it definitely cost me alot. Don't let it spiral. There's nothing wrong with getting help. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
My mom wasn't abusive per we, but she was emotionally unavailable and still is with some aspects to her person.Yeah…
20 Sep 2020, 8:27 am
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