I feel bad now. I was not thinking in a rational way at all. Now I understand why lawyers are necessary, but I want special one that knows how to deal with me, especially when I almost incriminated myself to the police when I was depressed and had mild delusions of guilt. I was being too risky to myself, It not that I was NGRI, I kind of knew what I did is risky, but was incompetent to think in a rational way.
I was 19 years old at that time when that happens 3 times, and I was lucky enough to be found innocent by police and once by two FBI agents.