I've managed a whole year without anti-depressants

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In 2011 I sought medical help for depression and started taking anti-depressants.

I took them more or less continuously for 10 years, then in January 2021, the doctor I was seeing at the time decided he didn't want me as a patient any more. Owing to numerous bad experiences with doctors, as well as doctors being few and far between in my country, I decided that after 10 years I'd had enough.

I gradually lowered the dose, suffered with quite a few withdrawal effects (although not as bad as some of the medications I've had), and eventually had my last one in May 2021 .

As soon as I stopped them, my depression symptoms returned. I was tired all the time. I was finding it harder to deal with people. I can't easily concentrate on anything. I lack energy, and spend too long feeling suicidal.

But at least I don't have to deal with my country's useless medical system. Yipee.

Is NHS that bad?
I meet my psychiatrist in a private practice - here, it's possible and commonly practiced to mix private and state-funded healthcare.

Depends on the situation. For emergencies the NHS can often be good. My dad had a motorbike crash ten years ago and they immediately arrived on the scene and sent a air ambulance to pick him up from the field he flopped off his bike in directly to the hospital in a city.

For stuff like mental health they're usually dire. It's probably a bit of a public image issue. Leaving someone dying in a field looks awful on the NHS but mental health is much less "in your face" and can be swept under the rug.

Yes. I've mostly had private care over the last few years, but even that can be very hit and miss. GPs and psychiatrists often don't bother with private work here. Physiotherapists and orthopaedic surgeons however, and you are spoilt for choice.

Well done man!!
I'm in a similar kind of relationship with healthcare where I am. I have realised I don't speak the same reality as medical people. And that's Ok!
I have also got off meds over the last few years. I have learnt other ways of dealing with things. Yes, I self medicate occasionally. It's the least I can do for myself. And learning how to deal with how my body feels has been most important. The body is where all of the past is stored. Working with releasing that has given me more agency and made me feel more stable and happier than I've ever felt before. Sometimes we need to go to medicine. Especially when things are desperate. But after a while of stabilizing things, if you feel like challenging yourself, it may be a good idea to gently wean yourself.
Well done. Stay strong and good luck.