Say Something Random: psychological Conditions Version

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I think I'm experiencing some version of alexithymia.
It's different. Really different.

There's a large "disconnect" alright...
And I like it.

It's a great contrast to my usual cacophonic experience when it came to emotions and stress.

I think this is how I would rather experience emotions and internal sensations compared from before.



And google search cannot answer what I'm searching for.
And management tutorials and talks related with dealing with alexithymia is largely useless to me.

"No! I don't wanna be 'more human'. I've been there. And I utterly HATE it."

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I actually feel really good. Not sure whether it's coming off the meds or if it's just me but I do feel good.

I feel more awake when I'm going about my daily life stuff

I'm talking to people more. I'm bartering in shops. I feel like I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zones more. I'm sleeping really well and that was my main worry about stopping taking them. I think the medication might have been holding me back a bit

I just think I've been taking these pills for no other reason than the fact that I was just used to taking them. I always knew I didn't have depression but I can't remember who diagnosed me with it it's been that long.

I think the "psychopathic stare" as they call it is an absolute myth.

My brain doesn't like concentrating

If I still have my "usual emotionality" today, I'd be bouncing off impatiently like a damn pinball.

For most of my life, that's how I "live". Like a damn pinball -- and each bumpers are like a damn bumpers. Some knows how to exploit it and I really, really hate to live this way.


I don't know! If I have my "usual emotionality" I'd be scratching my head in every mistake, in every minute of loading, in every time little things upset me would want me to just give up -- and I've been fighting that my whole life.

Instead, I feel like the smallest of things that I want to do while 'sensing' those unwanted emotions, and being able to ignore those unwanted emotions makes me feel like I'm WINNING at every turn.

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This is an interesting process you're experiencing Edna

Tis the season for oldsters to use allergy meds .. daily..and stronger ones if necessary ..just to keep my own head clean...isn't spring just grand .. but it can be pretty.

If caffeine helps me stay up and not let me sleep instead of giving me some form of skipped bedtime instant version of sleep deprivation symptoms...

... Does this also mean melatonin could actually help me fall asleep instead of giving me sleep deprivation symptoms?



So much stuff to try...
I'm gonna write and make a list. And just continue the series of posts as usual.


There's metabolizing stuff to do with sleepiness and wakefulness...

How about my blood pressure? It's somehow a bit high. My body isn't exactly very accustomed to it.
And I spent more time attempting to rise it by taking plenty of iodized salt; does this mean I had to ease a bit from salty food?

Not to mention my body temperature... Usually it's colder than the room temperature, especially when there's an AC or a fan on. Now, that's not the case.

Doesn't feel like hot flashes. But then it sort of makes sense; since BCs tricks the body that it's pregnant...
That -- and it's more than certain that my long time cold intolerance is definitely not a mere autistic sensory issue.

This also means now that I'm no longer also dealing with cold intolerance; I'm not accustomed to accommodating myself into cooling down except in extreme weathers.

Consuming cold stuff still hurts. While it no longer hurts my throat, my teeth, my head, my chest, and my back...
It still affects my gut and most of my abdomen. Gotta figure this one out.

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Friggin kitchen countertop has become a pharmacopia of OTC meds,bioidentical hormones , supplements of many kinds, natural anti imflammitories ...Tinctures,Nootropics..Boiled Lindseed oil ,Omega 3,s , coconut oils ,Best Olive Oil,even macadamia nut oil .All have their places , and some are great in Cooking. And then trying to fit that stuff in your budget . .
Trying to keep track of healthy cooking , all seems overwelming even. But , if you wanna make aging easier , those things and a some stretching exercises, goes along ways.
And hope that if you Purify your sleep environment..maybe make some kinda difference.

Yeah I love a good stretch me

They should rename self medicating to autocorrecting

I've had a lot of things to think about in this last few weeks I have. It's been really difficult sometimes as well and sometimes my head has felt like it's gonna pop with it all and I'm probably still going through it all but it's getting easier with each passing day.

But then I'm worried that I could slip back into it all again and then my head just goes into chaos and it's so hard to focus on what is important

But anyway that's all I wanted to say

I'll go and get my head shrinked on Tuesday anyway so hopefully that'll bring me back to my right mind