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catpiecakebutter
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14 Jun 2023, 10:29 am

I think I may I have depression, however I'm not for sure. I get frustrated about my weight, not having too many in person friends, (I have this really good friend I see sometimes though and I phone everyday) about lack of cash the government gives to disabled people, not having a paid job, being hurt by my ex friend, ect and things don't change. Do any of you deal with depression?



colliegrace
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14 Jun 2023, 11:02 am

Definitely. These days it's seasonal, summer-onset specifically.

Edit:
So there are a few different "types" of depression. Some of them include major depressive disorder (moderate to severe depression, usually), dysthymia (mild depression that is chronic or lifelong), and seasonal affective disorder (like I have, though mine is called reverse seasonal affective disorder since it's in the summer).

I'd recommend looking up diagnostic criteria and taking screening tests.

There's also situational depression, which is depressive symptoms brought on by a hard life circumstance. This one isn't considered a disorder, but may still require treatment depending on severity.


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ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD


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Deinonychus
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19 Jul 2023, 3:58 pm

Yes, me.
Major depressive disorder.
(I am diagnosed with autism and depression).
And that makes me mean, aggressive and unable to concentrate.


I would like to talk with someone here sometimes.

Ps:I also suffer from social isolation because I'm not able to work and I don't have any friends.



FleaOfTheChill
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21 Jul 2023, 12:47 pm

I have no idea if I deal with depression or not. I've been wondering lately if I am and lack the self awareness to pick up on it. My reasons are health issues, money stressors, feeling trapped in general. I have no idea if it's an actual problem that I should be addressing or just life getting to me lately. It's hard to know with these things sometimes.

Any which way..

I hope you get to feeling better.



Winters Gate
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21 Jul 2023, 11:47 pm

yes i have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder.

i also seem to get more depressed in the summer time.



Raziel
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26 Jul 2023, 2:04 pm

Yes, I suffer from therapy resistent dysthymia. A mild form of depression who’s there 24/7 since many years already :cry:


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26 Jul 2023, 2:12 pm

I have depression, do I deal with it? not very well tbh.


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Deinonychus
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02 Aug 2023, 7:32 pm

I guess so.

I'm not sad most of the time; more like emotionally muted. I have trouble crying when I do feel sad and I don't think I've ever been able to properly internalize praise.

I can't remember ever there ever being a time when I wanted to live a long life. I've always been fatalistic. Most people would go to great lengths to avoid dying; I'm fine with it. I have a Do Not Resuscitate on file since my mid-30s. I think dying of a heart attack at 50 would be so much better than dying of cancer at 80, or Alzheimer's/dementia at any age.

I have chronic guilt. I don't think I'm a bad person or worthless, just a failed person.

I've seriously thought about suicide for 25+ years, but never seriously pursued it because there's no reliable way to do it. Many methods of suicide are very painful and all have various levels of potential failure that are likely to leave me much worse off (i.e. crippled or brain damaged)

I've never been evaluated for it, nor sought an evaluation for it. I just muddle along with it, same as I did with ASD and ADHD for decades without knowing what they were.

It's also possible that, rather than depression, I have some kind of PTSD stemming from childhood.



blitzkrieg
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13 Aug 2023, 7:34 pm

I have experienced a lot of depression in my lifetime. It runs in the family.



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Deinonychus
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16 Aug 2023, 11:47 pm

Depression is a pain in the *ss, you can barely survive it.
I'm so embarrassed by my own life.
It's as if a passer-by handed you a hot dish on your hands without your consent and you didn't know what to do with it. You just stood there unable to move. You can't just let that dish go from your hands because it's food you've been entrusted with and you mustn't spoil it, but you also have to put up with the burning that could make you drop it at any moment.
No, it was probably a crappy allegory because a dish gets cold fast.



IsabellaLinton
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17 Aug 2023, 1:00 am

It's one of those things I was seemingly born with, as it's genetic on my dad's side.
I've never known life any differently so it never even occurs to me I'm supposed to fix it.
There's nothing to fix because it's how my brain was made.

By Depression I don't mean sadness.
I mean Clinical Depression MDD, which can be there even when you're happy.


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Deinonychus
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17 Aug 2023, 4:44 am

My depression may come from my mother's side of the family, and more likely from my maternal grandmother, who spent 30 years in an institution, alone, with almost 50 suicide attempts.
My brother is my sisters are all dealing with depression except that they are able to work. It is difficult especially for my brother who is also autistic and for my little sister who has difficulty finding a long-term active life (I've never managed to work in my life, my biggest experience lasted several months).
However, I haven't always been as depressed as I've been for the past four years. I've had strong periods of suicidality in the past, but never as constantly and for as long as now. It is raw, now.

I used to have a special interest in suicide nowadays, but I wasn't personally involved. I was obsessed, I know a lot, I have collected tons of data, I composed a lot of documents and tables but didn't include myself in it, I didn't think I could be concerned by suicidality. When my relatives found out, they wanted to admit me in psychiatric emergencies but the hospital wouldn't agree, because I hadn't attempted suicide.
There are very few places in France, so the experience is often traumatic, and in the end my parents refused me because of my grandmother's institutional past.
When my psychologist found out, she said I'd already been depressed before, but I just had less suidality than I do now.
I have indeed never been happy, even rather unhappy, but it's like I've never experienced "real" depression before.
I couldn't say I was born with it, even with proof of heritability in my family. I was, I think, too small to understand.

Has anyone experienced this?



KeepWaiting
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17 Aug 2023, 6:10 am

I was probably depressed for most of my life but I didn’t know it. I thought I was just unhappy, and back then that just meant that a person was unhappy. I think I could have benefitted from some of the modern anti-depressants. Even if reasons for feeling unhappy were valid, I think the meds could have helped.



renaeden
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19 Aug 2023, 12:49 am

I've had depression since I was a teenager when I was severely bullied at school and ignored at home. It wasn't until my late 20s when I started taking overdoses and going missing for days at a time that I was taken seriously and admitted to hospitals for psychiatric treatment. Many medications were tried and I'm finally on a good one (moclobemide). I've also had ECT which at the time did a good job because I got my sense of humour back, found a partner and got married. The effects wear off though, so I'm left relying on my antidepressant. I've been told by my psychiatrist that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. That's ok I guess.



MuddRM
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19 Aug 2023, 2:11 am

I’ve been depressed. For as long as I can remember. I also have issues with PTSD, no thanks to a narcissistic, undiagnosed father and a bipolar, and undiagnosed mother. How they managed to produce 4 other siblings (3 younger brothers and 1 younger sister, now deceased, is beyond me.

For the last 37 years, from June to December, I go into a severe funk. I lost my father to cancer of the liver in August of 1986, lost my Shetland sheepdog 3 weeks after we buried Dad, and lost my mother in November of 2012. I got blamed by my brothers for all the bullsh!t I went through (especially the crack by them for killing off Mom because of my erratic behavior while taking antidepressants (I was unemployed and stuck in bed. Is it my fault she had uterine cancer?). After her estate was settled, I was kicked to the street and had all forms of communications cut by them. As far as they’re concerned, I don’t exist.

I never did shake the depression, and probably never will, since trying to book with a psychologist, (I refuse to see a psychiatrist, since the only thing they do is push drugs down my throat.) is next to impossible here, since both hospital systems (Wellspan and UPMC) are booked up for over a year. My church (a member of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod) has a mental health and counseling service that they recently opened, but I have no idea who’s the practitioner, and if they’ll bill my insurance. My current insurance is through Johnstown, PA based Senior Life, which has 13 adult daycare centers in PA, and contracts out for all medical and mental health services. I had to give up my Medicare advantage plan, as well as change the status of Medicaid in order to qualify (Technically, this outfit is a PACE organization)



ProfessorJohn
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23 Aug 2023, 8:48 pm

renaeden wrote:
I've had depression since I was a teenager when I was severely bullied at school and ignored at home. It wasn't until my late 20s when I started taking overdoses and going missing for days at a time that I was taken seriously and admitted to hospitals for psychiatric treatment. Many medications were tried and I'm finally on a good one (moclobemide). I've also had ECT which at the time did a good job because I got my sense of humour back, found a partner and got married. The effects wear off though, so I'm left relying on my antidepressant. I've been told by my psychiatrist that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. That's ok I guess.


Could you do ECT again? It sounds like it worked the first time.