borderline personality disorder

Post Reply New Topic

Pretty sure I have BPD. Some say that because I'm AuDHD, that it's just RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria). But it's very extreme and it honestly does feel like I lose touch with reality if an episode is bad enough. I get paranoid that everything someone I'm close to does is some slight against me.

Basically for years now I'm dealt with extreme RSD in regards to friendships. It's an extreme reaction, both emotional and physical (I've had to go on blood pressure meds because the episodes push my BP up dangerously high), and it's not something my rational mind is in control of.

I once spent 36 or so hours in the mental hospital because of one of these episodes. It seems like I cannot get close to anyone without it taking over my life.

I do my best to keep my freakouts to myself and not bother anyone with them, but they are so strong that my emotions explode out in some manner or another.

My girlfriend could relate to a lot of this except she was never hospitalized. You mentioned taking blood-pressure meds but you didn't mentioned psych meds. Cass is on a few psych meds for different things & being on a mood-stabilizer as well as taking other meds for her anxiety, OCD, & depression helps her a lot. She still has some of the problems but they're a lot more manageable on the meds. She's not diagnosed with many mental things though but that may be partly due to her symptoms overlapping with lots of disorders so it's hard to know what she has or doesn't have. I was diagnosed with BPD myself along with a few other things when I was officially tested for autism & I had some major BPD symptoms in my previous two relationships & I used to in my current relationship as well. In my case the BPD was due to bad anxiety & OCD & in my first relationship I was also dealing with a psychotic depression. Treating my anxiety & OCD prevents me from getting hung up on the negative thoughts as well as from having panic attacks when I do have them. I can think a bit more logically without my emotions getting out of control.