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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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07 Apr 2021, 5:34 pm

Like nobody posts here in this section anymore. No support or LGBTQ autistic people. It's like we don't exist, or don't matter.

I sometimes really dislike being black and gay and autistic. I also noticed some homophobia around this forum, and that's all I'm gonna say. I don't want to say anything else in regards to this, I'm not saying anything.

I just turned 30 back in January. I feel like I have ruined, and wasted my 20s, and didn't accomplish as much as I wanted. My mother passed away when I was 11 of kidney cancer, and that was tough. My identical twin brother who was just like me, passed away of leukemia, when he was 15, and that was tough as well. The rest of my family disowned me. I have no friends. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, where I currently am. I just don't know.

I just want a boyfriend, or a companion, or a significant other, or a spouse. Just having friends in general. I hate being alone. No family support. Job wise and career wise; I'm currently unemployed (I dropped out of college/university, not knowing what to study. [I was studying nursing. Then I wasn't interested in that. I was studying graphic design, but I just know basic photoshop stuff, and so I left that. I then wanted to study social work, but lost interest in that too.] I just work mundane retail and customer service jobs, I either get fired from [sometimes justified reasons, sometimes unjustified reasons], or I quit due to unfair treatment, or I don't like the vibe or energy of my workplace, or I get laid off or let go. I have gone on several interviews for companies as of late, even for really basic janitor and simple jobs, but wasn't hired.

To be honest, you name any professional job or career, I would list so many reasons why that wouldn't work out. I wanted to be a court reporter, but I heard Stenotype takes a while to learn, and it's a competitive job, and technology is starting to cease the need for court reporters. I wanted to be a pharmacy technician. I think I'm pretty okay at math, but the math skills needed to be a pharmacy tech, was too much for me to learn. I wouldn't mind being a flight attendant, except I have pets, and you have to move and travel a lot, and I don't mind airplanes, I could get used to the heights and being up in the air etc. but yeah.

I shockingly, wouldn't mind being a Hazmat cleaner or accident or biohazard, crime scene etc. cleanup guy. I know this job seems kinda extreme, and like "what are you thinking?", but yeah. I understand why people would go hell no to that. But I wouldn't mind. I don't know how much money making is into that, but how would you apply for a job like that? lol, and will they even hire me etc. yeah.)

Pipe dream wise, (some of you guys are aware, I kinda want to become a famous author, and have my stories be successful. Have my stories turn into movies and television series and to be on Netflix and stuff. My twin brother who passed away, was also into arts, and we were signed to agencies when we were younger, and we were supposed to be on Nickelodeon and Disney and all that. It just didn't work out sadly for reasons out of our control. But I do have my writing, and some stuff I released.

http://www.goodreads.com/btammons

Also becoming a social media "personality".

http://www.youtube.com/monkeytornado

Problem is, I do have a moderate amount of internet followers and fans, which I'm thankful for, but it could be better. It's really luck based on becoming famous online, and gaining an audience and fanbase. In addition, my books aren't selling, I do have some fans, but a lot of people bash my writing, and leave negative reviews, which cause new readers and customers, to stray away from my material. Aside from doing immoral and unorthodox stunts [I thought up renting billboards, taping movie size posters of my books at subway stations and malls. Getting a megaphone, and trolling in the downtown area, pitching my books, trying to get attention from media publicity etc.], which I haven't contemplated or done yet.

All my promotion ideas and plans I have already tried, aren't working. I've tried posting ads on amazon and google, giving away copies of my books, giving away hard copies of my books in giveaways and contests, and giving away audible audiobook versions as well, being on newsletters, blogs. Nobody wants to interview me, so I can promote my books on other networks and podcasts etc. and yeah. I've tried emailing and contacting podcasts to interview me, and they refuse. I'm losing a lot of creative energy. I am thinking about doing reality television perhaps. Also, getting into Hollywood is easier said than done. I think a billion other people want to fulfill and accomplish the same dream I have, and yeah. I guess I need to be more realistic I suppose, but I still want to have my dreams anyways.)

I do have two cats, and a car. My cats make finding a place to live more difficult, but I'm not getting rid of my cats. No way. I have a car, but I was in a car accident a few days ago which I got into a collision with this lady, while I was trying to park my car on the street, and I don't feel was my fault, and it's currently being repaired. I also have horrid credit. I was on the bus, and my wallet slipped out my pocket. The guy who stole my wallet, ran up credit card debt, and medical debt in my name, so that makes finding a place to live even more difficult, as my credit score is abysmal and terrible. So yeah.

Like, things aren't looking too good. I am living off the little savings I have left, which I'll be fine for the time being temporarily, but not forever, and not lifelong. I am thinking of going on government assistance. (I don't know how to apply for this, I guess I would have to get an attorney, and how I'm gonna get all my official paperwork in order. Also the stigma of being black and gay, and autistic, and on SSI income. Ugh. )

I just don't know what to do, and I joined this place seeking help and guidance, but I feel that may have been a mistake. I don't want to think my life is cursed. Maybe something similar to cursed I don't know.

My rant and vent is over. I just don't know. If anyone would like to offer any input or anything, I thank you kindly for that, and I appreciate it. Thank you. :)



Last edited by Offset on 07 Apr 2021, 6:55 pm, edited 6 times in total.

IsabellaLinton
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07 Apr 2021, 6:12 pm

Offset wrote:
I shockingly, wouldn't mind being a Hazmat cleaner or accident or biohazard, crime scene etc. cleanup guy. I know this job seems kinda extreme, and like "what are you thinking?", but yeah. I understand why people would go hell no to that. But I wouldn't mind. I don't know how much money making is into that, but how would you apply for a job like that? lol, and will they even hire me etc. yeah.)



My friend in LA did this for years. He worked in Hazmat for crime scenes and also got a lot of work cleaning up from movie productions like Pirates of the Caribbean. I can't remember the name of the company but he made a ton of money. It was long hours and he was almost always on-call, but he got his own company truck and made a killing. No pun intended.



kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2021, 6:26 pm

There are plenty of gay people here. And there are plenty of "non-binary" folks here, too. And they do post in this section.



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07 Apr 2021, 6:53 pm

I am writing to say we do care. You are part of the Wrong Planet community. I don't usually look at this section because I am not gay, but I will say that if you read comments that you may not like, they are because I am coming from a different perspective and so bear this in mind and do not take it to heart.

You have been through a very touch time having lost your family. If I could have changed things I would. I will say hang in there, and in reference to finding a job, it sometimes takes several jobs to find the one ideally suited to ones skills and abilities. Sometimes we do not know what we are good at until we try, and you have tried many things I haven't!

I was thinking about jobs I have done and the most hillarious but embarissing job I ever did was to work a few weekends for a charity collecting the money for the kiddies to see Father Christmas, and I have to say that looking back, our Father Christmas was such a character that he made me chuckle on numerous occasions. Like when he nipped outside to have a cigar, and I saw kiddies running up to their parents saying "Mum, Dad, we saw Father Christmas smoking in the car park!" Or the times he was bored so he stood still like a statue, and then when people passed and looked at him he would spring to life and say "Boo!" He had a fair few people jump up in the air when he did that!

But anyway. Do not think that you are alone in life. Just chat along on this site about anything and everything! Whatever you have to say!


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07 Apr 2021, 6:56 pm

Portions of your story really resonate, like skills, work history and work ambitions.

I don't have any friends and I've struggled to find and maintain medial jobs far below what I might potentially be capable of.

I'm in the process of applying for disability.

I'd like to start putting together YouTube content. I'd like to know what it takes to get to where you are now.

This place isn't always very useful for active support, but if you want sympathy from people dealing with at least some of the same struggles it might be suitable.

I know how you feel about being alone. I miss having friends.


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07 Apr 2021, 10:48 pm

Sounds like you have had a really tough time Offset. I am impressed that you have made books. I have my own hopes of writing but it feels like most of what I do is planning and not actually have it as a story, and takes quite a bit of energy to start putting it into the chapters. So you should be proud for having something completed.

I sympathise with a number of your experiences. I first flunked out of university, did some lesser education, eventually completed university, but found it incredibly difficult to get any work. My field is in finance and administration, and as I am pretty unsuitable for something like a customer service thing of trying to sell people things or acting as reception due to my social anxiety. The part time jobs I have managed to get have really all ended with work drying up and just gone, which takes a huge hit to my self confidence. Kind of seems like I might have just lost another one, since my boss gave me a message to not come in because of a family situation, and I have not been contacted in over a month.

And I have no confidence at all at starting something like dating, being terrified of making someone uncomfortable in any way, so it is difficult to even express parts of why I would use the LGBT. Don't know what I should post in the LGBT section. When I am not following politics I am living vicariously through anime and games, just recently I started a topic in an anime forum I frequent of characters that are trans or gender non-conforming.


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07 Apr 2021, 11:14 pm

Offset wrote:
Like nobody posts here in this section anymore. No support or LGBTQ autistic people. It's like we don't exist, or don't matter.
Well, if lgbtq people don't post, it's lgbtq's people's fault that the sub-forum is dead. Maybe there just aren't very many.

You could try another social venue. There are autism-related social groups on meetup.com. There's Reddit and other text-based social networking websites. I don't know whether any are gay-specific, however. Sometimes you just run into gay people if you just pursue your other interests (like an autism social group), so you might have more success that way than you'd have looking for the small minority that is lgbtq autistic people. Or just start a forum or mastodon instance yourself, then advertise it and invite people.

I recommend that you do not bother applying for SSI. Based on what you've said about your work history, you aren't disabled enough to have a good chance of being granted SSI. Even people who are seriously disabled get denied if they fail to prove that they are disabled, so you'd have an even more difficult time winning your case.

In addition, if you ever do become seriously disabled, you'll have a better chance of being granted SSI if you've never applied before (a lawyer told me this). So save the SSI application until you really need it.

If you start to run out of money, apply for food stamps and any local benefits you can get (you can find information about such benefits at the county social services office).

If you suspect that you might have trouble paying rent in the future, add yourself to the waiting list for a housing voucher immediately. You'd probably have to apply in another county, because populous counties like LA generally don't have housing vouchers available. However, once you've used your voucher in the county that gives you a voucher for one year, you can port the voucher to any county in the United States that will accept you. Add yourself to the list in multiple counties because you never know how long you'll have to wait until your name comes up on the list.

If you get really desperate for money, re-enroll in college and temporarily live off of student financial aid, including one or more work-study jobs, which are much easier to get than regular employment. And don't forget to apply for unemployment if you qualify.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Apr 2021, 1:26 pm

OP:

You should dispute those items which are making your credit score abysmal. You can do it online.

Credit Karma tells you how to do it. It's free (absolutely free).



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09 Apr 2021, 2:28 pm

To the OP:
I can relate to most of what you wrote. Try not to get too down.

As far as applying for SSI, it sucks and it takes forever. And you will almost definitely get denied at least once. But if you can get it, it can really help.
You might look up "California Autism Regional Centers" (or some variation of that). The one here where I'm at (The redwood coast regional center) did my assessment and helped deal with SSI.
When I looked for the LA branch I couldn't find it, but I did find this: CA DDS regional center lookup .
Maybe it will help.
And if the link doesn't work, it's the California department of developmental services, regional center lookup.



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10 Apr 2021, 1:52 pm

I'm making this in response, and I mean in this in the nicest of ways. I know you mean well, but I just want to defend myself, or add my side to some of your concerns and suggestions.

starkid wrote:
Well, if lgbtq people don't post, it's lgbtq's people's fault that the sub-forum is dead. Maybe there just aren't very many.


Perhaps, but I noticed how active the other sections are, and the fact there is an LGBTQ section, I was hoping people would actually post in here more. Due to the fact it would be nice for people dealing both with LGBTQ issues and autism issues to congregate and discuss things.

There is also a big misconception that LGBTQ is a social, trendy or conformed community or topic. I feel maybe there are some people, (myself included remarkably) that feel because they have social anxiety, wear their heart on their sleeve, march to their own beat etc. they don't want to get too political with labels and stray away that way perhaps? I don't know. Just my theory.

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You could try another social venue. There are autism-related social groups on meetup.com.


I just searched on meetup, and the closest Adult Autism groups or events, are nowhere near I live. I would have to drive several hours, which I don't know, I guess if I had no choice and really wanted to attend, but to me, I feel there should be closer events to where I live, but yeah.

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There's Reddit and other text-based social networking websites. I don't know whether any are gay-specific, however.


How funny, I am on Reddit. My username is u/JazzyFusion. I know of several gay reddit communities, I don't know any gay autism communities on Reddit. I kinda have a love/hate relationship with reddit, and I know more and more it's being used for entertainment purposes and meme discussions, and kinda maybe for trivial purposes, and not serious, political, emotional, and social discussions etc.

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Sometimes you just run into gay people if you just pursue your other interests (like an autism social group), so you might have more success that way than you'd have looking for the small minority that is lgbtq autistic people.


Not necessarily. To me I feel that sentiment works well for heterosexual people. Just doing what you normally do, work, fun, play, you will meet people, friends, relationships etc. that type of way. I can't agree the same way for LGBTQ people, as we still live in somewhat of a heteronormative society. Even if there does happen to be another LGBTQ person, or three coincidentally in a situation, they will still try to single you out, or not take your side, and refuse to labelled under the same umbrella as you. I should clarify this pertains more to Gay/bi men I've noticed. If they were the only gay/bi guy in that atmosphere or community, and then you tag along, or try to join forces with him, he won't stand for it. He wants to be on the only gay/bi person in the group, and make it all about them. It's called "Queen Bee Syndrome". A common example of this is in the hit television series "Modern Family". Mitchell, who is gay, and lives with his partner Cam on the show, he kinda is a prime example of this.

I also don't want to necessarily just meet autistic LGBTQ people, just people in general, or LGBTQ people in general, that accept me being autistic etc.

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Or just start a forum or mastodon instance yourself, then advertise it and invite people.


Way easier said than done. I do see your point, although it's no guarantee by starting my own community and group, I'll gather and meet people though. But, I do see your point.

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I recommend that you do not bother applying for SSI. Based on what you've said about your work history, you aren't disabled enough to have a good chance of being granted SSI. Even people who are seriously disabled get denied if they fail to prove that they are disabled, so you'd have an even more difficult time winning your case.

In addition, if you ever do become seriously disabled, you'll have a better chance of being granted SSI if you've never applied before (a lawyer told me this). So save the SSI application until you really need it.


I think this is where we will definitely extremely agree to disagree. Is life unfair, it is. Are there people who really need SSI that for some morbid and puzzling reason got denied. Of course. But they need to find another lawyer (which if you lose your SSI case, you do not have to pay any attorney fees.) and try again. Because there is no damn way in hell someone who cannot work, gets denied. That was just a really confusing and unexplainable fluke that happened.

Having said that, the reason I mentioned SSI, is you need a job/career/be able to work to pay bills, rent/housing, food etc. If for both mental and physical reasons (and physical problems related to my mental problems, Anxiety which causes me to feel lightheaded and nervous and unable to function and work etc., and vice/versa, mental problems caused from physical problems etc.I have asthma and along with my autism that could cause issues whilst I'm working.) that I have, which makes working, finding work, finding work to suit my needs more difficult, then I absolutely have a solid SSI case. So I have to wholeheartedly agree to disagree with you.

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If you start to run out of money, apply for food stamps and any local benefits you can get (you can find information about such benefits at the county social services office).


I applied for food stamps a couple years ago, as a boost or help. I was denied for some reason, and I tried to get contact with the CalFresh (the food stamp program in California/LA County) and kept getting answering machine's and no help. I don't know if there is a waiting list for food stamps/EBT or what. But yeah.

But even if I did have food stamps, being that I don't have children, I am not going to get that much. Also, you cannot buy certain food with food stamps. Even like fancy vegetables and organic salads, I heard you can't use benefits on. So along with how much benefits you get, and what you can buy, I would probably have to go to a discount or bargain supermarket, use it on very light cheap convenience/instant food, (like ramen noodles, canned soup, tuna and crackers, cheap bologna meat, frozen snacks etc.) which is fine, but I like to try more exciting food options, and maybe support restaurants or organic restaurants and businesses, and you cannot use food stamps/EBT for places like that.

Also, there are single mothers with hungry children. So I rather food stamps/ebt, and WIC and those resources be used for them. etc.

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If you suspect that you might have trouble paying rent in the future, add yourself to the waiting list for a housing voucher immediately. You'd probably have to apply in another county, because populous counties like LA generally don't have housing vouchers available. However, once you've used your voucher in the county that gives you a voucher for one year, you can port the voucher to any county in the United States that will accept you. Add yourself to the list in multiple counties because you never know how long you'll have to wait until your name comes up on the list.


Even if I decided to right now get on the Section 8 voucher waiting list in a county with a shorter list, I'm looking at least maybe a five or six year wait, and that's just being generous. Even if you go get approved, and it's your turn on the list, you still have to find a landlord willing to accept Section 8, and that number is getting lower, and lower, due to the stigma associated with Section 8 tenants and residents etc., which I'm not gonna get into. There also is city public housing (or a more colloquial term "the projects".) but that's like a final, no other choice option, which it's still a place to live, and you take it for what ti is, and even then these places are difficult to get into.

Again with the food stamp/EBT benefits, I would rather my spot go to a single mother with children that needs a place to stay. I rather that particular case be on the Section 8 voucher list etc.

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If you get really desperate for money, re-enroll in college and temporarily live off of student financial aid, including one or more work-study jobs, which are much easier to get than regular employment. And don't forget to apply for unemployment if you qualify.


At this time, I'm not interested in going back to school. What will I study? I could just take general ed courses to make my mind up, but I'm 30 damn years old, and if i were twelve years younger, then okay. I could take general ed, or bird courses until I decide my major(s) or what I want to study. I also don't like the idea (and I believe I mentioned this in my opening post) of sitting down for several hours, listening to a professor or instructor talk. They just ramble on and on with their Lecture agenda method of teaching. Taking page worth of notes, not knowing what exactly is beneficial or just trivial drivel etc. I cringe especially when the professor or instructor tries to be cool, and says something trendy or happening and the class erupts in giggles, laughter, and snickering, and I'm like thinking in my head, "that was not funny" lol.

I just prefer an instructor or professor, that teaches in a new method, as opposed to the lecture and rant and ramble method. Maybe a more hands on, or experimental approach, using props, scenarios, skits, projects, social experiments, field studies, etc.

In a perfect world, I would like a cool, nice, relatable, and understandable professor or instructor, that isn't trying to be fake and isn't mean or strict, and yeah.

However, it seemed I would get strict and mean professors and instructors usually. But I at least I knew where I stood with them. I had a couple straight up mean and devilish instructors, that still gave me passing grade.

The worst kinds are the wishy washy professors and instructors. These are the ones, that on the first day of class, seem nice and interesting, and you feel you are gonna enjoy the class. Then as the course and semester ticks on, they show their true colors, and give you piles of work they didn't teach you about, give you tons of homework, give surprise tests, and their personality changes to a more two faced type. They seem nice, but fail you during tests, exams, and writing prompts, and what gives? So yeah.

I could apply for financial aid, and student loans, but that's not guaranteed. Work study jobs, especially now during this time, are really scarce, and also not guaranteed or for certain.

I think it's too late to file for unemployment. I should have done that a long time ago, as the gap is too long from when I last worked, which I do not want to disclose, but it has been a quite a while since I was last on a payroll and was employed. I do like under the table freelance work as of late, but I don't think that counts. So yeah.

So because of all that, is why at this time, I have no intentions of going back to school/college.

I just wanted to respond to some of your concerns and suggestions. Thank you for understanding.



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11 Apr 2021, 2:30 am

Offset wrote:
There is also a big misconception that LGBTQ is a social, trendy or conformed community or topic. I feel maybe there are some people, (myself included remarkably) that feel because they have social anxiety, wear their heart on their sleeve, march to their own beat etc. they don't want to get too political with labels and stray away that way perhaps? I don't know. Just my theory.

Well if you want to know, you could just ask people why they don't post. Personally I don't like to participate here or any other lgbtq+ space because the TQ is always posting dysfunctional, offensive, and pointless/annoying s**t that has nothing to do with me as a lesbian (except when it's lesbiphobic and misogynistic).

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Quote:
You could try another social venue. There are autism-related social groups on meetup.com.


I just searched on meetup, and the closest Adult Autism groups or events, are nowhere near I live.

I meant the ones that are meeting online, on Zoom and stuff.


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Because there is no damn way in hell someone who cannot work, gets denied. That was just a really confusing and unexplainable fluke that happened.
It's not a fluke. Research it and you'll see. Applicants have limited numbers of appeals, so they often can't just get another lawyer and try again. I actually got turned down by a lawyer partially because I was applying for the second time.

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then I absolutely have a solid SSI case. So I have to wholeheartedly agree to disagree with you.
You don't seem to understand: a solid SSI case is based on how much evidence you have, not just how disabled you are. You could be on the verge of death; if you can't prove it, you'll get denied. If your doctors/therapists/etc haven't written anything in your medical records about you being unable to work, dying, or severely impaired, you'll get denied. If the social security administration's employment specialist can find a handful of low-skill jobs anywhere in the country you can do, you'll get denied.

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But even if I did have food stamps, being that I don't have children, I am not going to get that much. Also, you cannot buy certain food with food stamps.

Are you sure about that? I live in CA as well, I have food stamps and no dependents, I get plenty (~200/month and now $230/month because of the pandemic), and I can buy any food item in almost every grocery store and many liquor stores, as well as at farmer's markets. Organic food is not prohibited.

Quote:
Also, there are single mothers with hungry children. So I rather food stamps/ebt, and WIC and those resources be used for them. etc.

There's not a shortage of food stamps. You aren't helping anyone by not applying for food stamps. Do you realize how little money SSI gives you? It's not enough to live on by itself, that's why CA recently started an initiative to allow people on SSI to get food stamps. And SSI isn't enough to cover rent in many if not most places in CA, so a housing voucher is a good strategy.

Look up how much people on SSI get in CA. Or ask people on this forum who have it. Ask them how they cover their living expenses.


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Offset
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11 Apr 2021, 3:40 pm

starkid wrote:
Well if you want to know, you could just ask people why they don't post. Personally I don't like to participate here or any other lgbtq+ space because the TQ is always posting dysfunctional, offensive, and pointless/annoying s**t that has nothing to do with me as a lesbian (except when it's lesbiphobic and misogynistic).


You mean ask people personally? I'm not about to sit here and message every single person (and by the way, how is this even possible? Yeah I could message people who have previous posts in this section; and say "where did you go?", but that seems kinda creepy and weird. I don't know who is LGBTQ here, and that's none of my business. I could message people who in the past posted in this section, and "came out" and disclosed their business on here, but yeah, I don't think so. But I don't know, that is really puzzling and makes no sense.) and ask why they don't post or contribute or participate in this section.

I was just saying my theory on to why this section isn't that active. I believe that a lot of autistic LGBTQ people, aren't very social (and you can add me to the list and category). People have mindsets that the LGBTQ community, is all about selling yourself, conforming to subcultures, partying, social life, nightlife, promiscuity, politics etc. Also how the LGBTQ community itself, does little to welcome to show evidence of welcoming people with autism. Which I understand to some degree those concerns, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. But you can't erase stereotypes and misconceptions and myths in some cases, so people play it safe, and don't want to scare themselves, so they choose not to indulge themselves. etc. That was my only point.

Secondly, the part of you having an issue with the "TQ" in our community. That type of agenda and mindset if I say so myself, makes things worse. No, I'm not transgender. However, I am a gay black man who is autistic, so I should be the last damn person to judge if someone is going through a similar (if you think about it in the grand scheme of things) cause or trope or issue. If a issue related to transgender comes up, I respectfully slide past it, and hope my trans brothers and sisters, and gender non binary friends get the support they need.

But I'm not going to join your agenda (which I've noticed a lot of non trans people in the LGBTQ community do as of late and recently.) like that. "Oh, they're just making it more hard for us. We're the normal ones." "They are making what we worked so hard to be accepted for, into something more confusing" etc. Enough of that. Again, no, I'm not transgender, but I struggle with identity issues, especially being a black gay/homosexual man, to where black men, phenotypically, are supposed to be masculine, and macho, and have bravado, and yeah, and being effeminate. So no, not being transgender at all. I'm happy being a boy, and a man, but you see where there is possible and probable overlap, to where I should be the last one to exclude or "drop", the trans people in our family and community etc.

But I feel this is a moot point, as your mind is made up about this, and I have to just respect that, and you're entitled to your vices and opinions. But yeah. That's all.

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I meant the ones that are meeting online, on Zoom and stuff.


I don't do webcam, live video, or webcam camera capture, or cell phone camera live video chats or group chats. None of that crap, to be honest. It is an extremely long story as to why. There was a time to where I was addicted to Tinychat, which I later found out, is an alt-right, extremely conservative, racist, and homophobic troll and foolishness and ingorance network; but people are oblivious to this, and thinks it's just a place with innocent video chat rooms. Hell no, it's very toxic, and I got sucked up into that, and they saw I was black on my webcam and video feed, and I was their guinea pig so to say. They were false and fake with me, and pretended to be nice to me, and include me in their video chats, only to laugh at me, not with me, and they were bullying me and trying to suck me into their agenda. It really caused me to have a messed up mind-frame, and I'm so glad I got the courage to vow to never go to those sites again, and I said I wouldn't.

I feel webcam, Skype, Zoom, etc. all of that is very impersonal, and I just prefer face to face, real life contact. I also have to make sure I look presentable, and not like a zoo animal. Make sure my lighting is good, my webcam isn't skipping, glitching, or slow or lagging etc. Make sure my house is clean, and not cluttered, and I'm not hoarding stuff, and it doesn't look like a torture dungeon or insect lair, and it doesn't look like Addams Family. Not that there isn't anything wrong with this generally, but me personally being on webcam, lol; because people are nosy, and like to see into your house and background, when you do a webcam live lol etc. Make sure I don't have any microphone or audio issues etc. People also due to the anonymity of webcam chat and zoom chat, like to do foul and gross and disgusting things, and troll and pull pranks and yeah. Ain't nobody got time for that. etc.

In other words, I just prefer in person meetings, and I don't like webcam chat, and I have good reasons to be against it. I live in the LA area, there should be no excuse (I understand when the Covid-19 pandemic was starting to hit, but now things are getting better, and you can still have social distance in person events I believe. If not, I can wait until legally, [even though I think Los Angeles has lifted restrictions] things are better to do so. etc.) to find an in person function or event.


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It's not a fluke. Research it and you'll see. Applicants have limited numbers of appeals, so they often can't just get another lawyer and try again. I actually got turned down by a lawyer partially because I was applying for the second time.


From what I know, people have been denied, were all cases to where they didn't get an attorney, and decided to just wing it themselves, which in a perfect world, and perfect sense, should work and be good enough. However, it seems covertly, getting a SSI lawyer and attorney is mandatory and required.

In any case, if you did hire a lawyer or attorney, and they didn't take on your case, and/or, you were still denied, you don't have to pay their fees, and odds are, that wasn't a very good lawyer or attorney to work with. Which happens in rare cases, although most disability lawyers and attorneys have good track record of making sure their clients get approved for disability. Granted the person qualifies for it, which 9 times out of 10, they do have a solid case. Which whether you personally believe that person can work or not, is not up for you to decide etc.

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You don't seem to understand: a solid SSI case is based on how much evidence you have, not just how disabled you are. You could be on the verge of death; if you can't prove it, you'll get denied. If your doctors/therapists/etc haven't written anything in your medical records about you being unable to work, dying, or severely impaired, you'll get denied. If the social security administration's employment specialist can find a handful of low-skill jobs anywhere in the country you can do, you'll get denied.


What do you take me for? I know damn well you need evidence, documents, paperwork for an SSI case. That's the damn lawyer and attorney's job to seek these notarized and official documents for you, that would be hell for you to find and obtain yourself. Especially now in this digital and computer age to where things are more properly filed and organized.

Someone applying for SSI, 9 times of out 10, has been officially diagnosed, talked to doctors and professionals. Have medical records, etc. Even if god forbid, devil's advocate, someone had zero documentation or evidence. Your lawyer and attorney (they will if need be, even go with you remarkably enough) will set up appointments for you to be seen and re-diagnosed by doctors and professionals etc. to get more evidence for you case.

That last part, I don't know what you're talking about. Yes, McDonalds and Burger King and Taco Bell are most likely hiring right now, but it is for a position someone that's disabled can do, and if it is, is it available? There are only so many "wipe off the counters, and restock the forks, spoons, knives and straw" jobs. So if that was the point, that they will just try to find evidence of mundane jobs for you do to, I don't feel is good enough, and slightly beside the point. If they end up finding comfortable work, in which the company agrees to hire them and work around their situation, and that suits their disability needs, great, lovely. But I feel if that was the point you were trying to make, nope. A good disability attorney and lawyer can also fight this as well.

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Are you sure about that? I live in CA as well, I have food stamps and no dependents, I get plenty (~200/month and now $230/month because of the pandemic), and I can buy any food item in almost every grocery store and many liquor stores, as well as at farmer's markets. Organic food is not prohibited.


You have to also factor in sales tax, and California grocery tax which gets added onto things. CRV taxes and fees as well, if you're buying a beverage. Even with that amount, so you're looking at having to go as to like I said, a discount or bargain store, (which sells generic, store brand, nothing too special or fancy food.) and being very basic with what you buy. Possibly hauling and stocking up on a lot of convenience foods as I said previously. Food is also getting more and more expensive, even at bargain supermarkets. Lunch meat and a pack of hot dogs even are rising in price.

I have heard of people getting amounts like that in benefits, but I also heard of people for some reason getting half that amount, like a little over a hundred of month in food stamps, so I'm just gonna chalk it up, to a case by case basis.

Also, there are a lot of EBT restrictions. There are some meats and foods you cannot buy. A lot of readymade and self serve food and salad bar or buffet style or quick service counter type food, you cannot get on EBT. Fresh meat from the butcher counter, deli, custom baked goods, cannot be bought on EBT.

I don't know what farmers market you go to, but the ones I've been to, absolutely do not accept EBT or food stamps.

At most, and at best, if you do get financial benefits on your EBT card, along with your EBT/Food stamp benefits, you can go to an ATM with your EBT card under the same program etc., use that money at farmers markets, as it's actual money, and not EBT/Food stamp transactions, but that isn't necessarily the same.

Organic grocery stores as well, don't always take EBT, or if they do, there is more restrictions on what you can buy or cannot buy.

Also, I kinda like to support restaurants, and organic restaurants, and specialty restaurants, local restaurants, and seafood and fish markets, and meat markets, deli's and bakeries. These places absolutely positively do not accept EBT and food stamps benefits. Some fast food restaurants, in certain locations, do accept as I said before, EBT/Cash or money transactions, but that's not EBT/Food stamps. That's cash benefits associated to the same program, if you get approved for that, in addition to your EBT/Food stamp program. etc.

Your best bet if you have EBT food stamps, is to stick with processed and convenience food, snacks, frozen foods. Go to a discount or bargain supermarket, (as not every store accepts it. A lot of gas stations, liquor stores, bodegas, and regular grocery stores, don't always accept EBT. You also have to hope their EBT card reader, or EBT transactions are being accepted at the moment) to where food is slightly cheaper and on sale, so it works out better generally for you.

Also, I'm aware there is fraud, and "sweethearting", as they say going on. To where people and cashiers, who they see their friend or family member come in the store, in some cases I know children, they bend the rules for at times, too, and they just simply bend the rules. I saw someone buy food, and a pack of cigarettes, and a 12 pack of beer all in the same EBT card transaction, (when it would have to be two separate transactions for EBT food and EBT cash etc.) so yeah. But I'm not going to discuss that, or get too much into that.


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There's not a shortage of food stamps. You aren't helping anyone by not applying for food stamps. Do you realize how little money SSI gives you? It's not enough to live on by itself, that's why CA recently started an initiative to allow people on SSI to get food stamps. And SSI isn't enough to cover rent in many if not most places in CA, so a housing voucher is a good strategy.


Actually, there is. These handouts come from the government, and the way things are taxed and dealt with, I guess I wouldn't say "shortage", but these programs are very delicate right now. There is a process you have to go through to sign up for food stamps and EBT (which I explained I recently applied and got denied for food stamps, and I kinda know the reason why, and I kinda really don't. It's confusing and puzzling, and up in the air; but I tried to contact their "appeals" department, with no such luck. It's fine. I'm not too worried about that now.) and you have to cross every "t", and dot every "i", which I understand you have to do with SSI income as well, but still.

Not only are there issues with the food stamp and EBT program with applying and getting started and approved. There are also glitches, and delays in getting your benefits. Say you're hungry and want to go to the corner and use your EBT card to buy yourself some food at the supermarket. The transaction can show up declined for no reason, even though you have plenty of benefits. You're gonna have to wait until they fix this, to use your benefits again. So it's not fool proof at all.

SSI income, is supposed to cover enough for your rent. Don't ask me how I know, but I do know of people on SSI not on food stamps, because their SSI benefits covers their rent, and their food budget etc. So I don't know. Maybe it's on a case by case basis, once again.

In other words, what I'm trying to say, the least amount of government assistance programs, you can be on, the better, as that's a good thing, for if you don't really need those programs, some else in dire need for those programs, can take your position or spot, and receive those benefits. etc.

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Look up how much people on SSI get in CA. Or ask people on this forum who have it. Ask them how they cover their living expenses.


That wouldn't do me any good. A lot factors into that, and people get different benefits, based on their particular case. I also feel this is kinda confidential and private information, which a person on SSI, has every right not to disclose or mention or discuss or talk about. But I feel in a general sense, SSI, yeah you're not going to get an extraordinary sum each month, but it will be generous enough for you to pay rent, food, buy yourself personal things you need, if you need to buy yourself sundries, or a new sweater or pair of shoes etc. not necessarily seldom, but occasionally buy yourself some DVD's to watch or books or magazines or a record or a video game, novelty things etc. so yeah.

Finally, I never actually said I was going to sign up and apply for SSI. For all I know, I may not. Maybe I will, maybe I will not. Who knows. I do writing, and I mentioned links to my books on my opening post. I will say I'm like on the E, or maybe below D list level fame and prestige lol, when it comes to independent authors online. I haven't made a lot with my books financially, but most if it is prestige and fame and attention and publicity (which is what you need first, before cash starts to shell in for your art etc.) My books have been on Amazon bestsellers list, gained thousands of readers and fans, so many online supporters, worked with people to help format my books to market and bookstore level quality, artists to do my very specific character art. No I'm not Stephen King or Nora Roberts or Dean Koontz yet, but I'm working my way up there, if I work hard enough, and god forbid, a little bit of luck and lightning strikes my direction. I'm holding on to a semi realistic pipe dream of becoming famous, and successful, and maybe a "celebrity" almost who knows.

The point is, say my writing career takes off (because it might not. As writing for me is becoming a struggle, and it's hard to get the ball rolling as of late, and yeah. I'm dealing with people leaving awful reviews on my writing, and struggling to network with people. I love my fans, but it seems my critics and haters are overpowering them. I need to get this sorted out. I have a lot of work to do, if I'm going down this path, and relying on this. Which in that case, if things don't go as planned, I may highly consider SSI), I will not qualify for SSI anyways, and I'll be able to support myself with my writing.

So, nothing is for certain yet, and I was really just venting and ranting, and expressing myself, and I appreciate your concerns and suggestions, but I wanted to once again make things clear and defend myself.

So that's that. Thank you. :)