aspies feel like they are asexual...

Post Reply New Topic

do they?

well i have AS and i do not feel "asexual".
i just do not feel sexual much at all.

the word "asexual" connotes a sense of repugnance for sex to me. i do not have a repugnance for sex, but i have almost no desire for it.

my desires have been aroused by various women, but, after they go home, i am as cold as a block of marble,and i have no thoughts about repeating the situation.

sex is always visited upon me. i never seek it because i do not see it as something that i need.

Nonsex topic

You are correct about the lack of feeling. The OP's question was not worded precisely, but I understood its meaning.

I actually prefer the term nonsexual, but because there are negative connotations, I suppose the word that best describes a lack of needing sex is asexual. For me being nonsexual encompasses no romance either, though one does not imply the other.

Atrice said it best when he wrote that sex is a form of social interaction. I also dislike sex because of sensory issues. For me sex was a way of getting pregnant and having children. Of course, there are ways of getting pregnant without a sexual encounter but I had no imagination and no interest in third party intervention that would enable it to happen. So I did it the old fashioned way, as cheaply as possible.

The sexual feelings experienced are not visited upon you, as though someone waved a magic wantd. You had those feelings yourself. There is nothing shameful about them; they are human feelings. It is up to you to act upon them or not to do so.

I may be asexual too, but I'm not completely sure or I may be gay. I'm attracted to girls but Iike to say there is no feelings of lust, just envy or jealousy. I'm attracted to guy but not real/regular guyish guys, only ones that are gay and act girly. I have no desire for sex, just cuddling.

While it doesn't cause me a lot of grief in everyday life. I do feel like a bizarre freak sometimes. I mean sex is such a basic human thing, it is hard for me to understand my lack of desire (for either gender). Maybe it ties into my alexithymia. I truly can't link my feelings to events in my life. My feelings are better described as "calm", "stressed", "very stressed", etc. I have posted a lot about this elsewhere on WP.
Anyways, some days I just feel like a robot and it is not my monotone voice. It is the alexithmia and asexuality.

Is there anyone who seems to have that combination: alexithmia and asexuality. I am just trying to understand myself.

I understand. I am not that social in general and I do not like to be touched. There is no way I would want to be that physically close to someone while having an intense social interaction with them. Maybe that is what is happening with me. Maybe that explains my lack of desire.

I am not asexual, but I am demisexual. I really don't have much desire for sex unless I feel a deep emotional connection w/someone. Since this rarely happens I've stopped thinking about it...

I've had these exact thoughts before. About the 'being less human' and just... not getting the big deal about sex. I'm all for romance if it can be achieved by me (I don't know yet), but I just have no desire for sex whatsoever. It baffles some people that a person can be that way I guess.

As far as someone asking me "Isn't he/she hot?" my usual answer is... "She's/He's...aesthetically pleasing, I suppose."

I am definately sexual. Just hard to find the right partner!

I am either asexual or demisexual, I don't know which because I have never been very close to anyone. It doesn't make me feel less human, but that might just be because I don't talk to other people much and thus I am very removed from what is considered "normal". The few times I have attempted a relationship I have been shocked by how pushy/physically needy the other person was and I find the idea that such things are considered "normal" odd and disheartening. To me it seems like it is the sexual world that is abnormal.

I am asexual.

I have a fairly low libido.

I don't really experience sexual attraction.

When I have tried sex, I found it overloading. Too much skin contact.

I tried to be sexual on and off for years, but I tried to do a lot of things that didn't work out.

I am definitely NOT asexual. I have a rather high sex drive. It can be problematic at times.

I wouldn't say I was asexual. As extremely rare as it is, I do have sexual urges but to nothing in particular. And my sex drive increases somewhat in a relationship. I guess I could be called demisexual, but I'm entirely sure I'm that.

Ah, pet-peeve of mine when people try to explain/justify asexuality. People have said this sort of thing to me since puberty. You must be disinterested in sex because you were abused, or you have a hormonal imbalance, or a mental or emotional disorder, or a physical defect, maybe you just haven't found the right person, maybe you're a late-bloomer, maybe you just have no confidence, maybe maybe maybe.
People don't seem to want to accept that asexuality is an orientation. Nothing has to happen to make you this way. You just are.
I'm asexual, though I have tried my hardest not to be. I've had encounters with men, women and folks in-between and was bored. I can feel attracted to women, and appreciate aesthetic appeal in both genders, but it doesn't make me want to involve my genitals in the equation.
It's a bummer as it makes me generally have to be ore reserved with people, as they interpret my attention as sexual interest, and just when I thought we were getting along, they want to take things below the belt. It's awkward. I wish I could express any connection or interest I felt in a person without being interpreted as "flirting."

I don't mind explaining what contributes to my own asexuality, but I really have no interest in what other people think drives it. They're usually wrong.

Like, I don't like touching, but my lack of interest was definitely before I realized how much I hate touching during sex. It just contributes significantly. I made the mistake on another forum of mentioning that in addition to my lack of a sex drive and got some guy writing three or four paragraphs about my obviously severe sensory issues and his pity for my inability to enjoy sex. Really annoying stuff. Like why does he care?

I got the same odd reaction when I was vegan. I asked an NT friend of mine about the reasons for this attitude and she agreed. People seemed to want to attack my lifestyle choices (and no, I was not a PETA vegan and never pushed my views on others - I never even mentioned it unless asked). I can only assume they were threatened by my choices and somehow felt guilty about their own, as if I was insinuating I was "better" than them because I chose not to eat/use animal products (which never even occurred to me - I was interested in veganism, therefore I went with it - it had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else). Therefore, they had to invalidate my point of view to themselves to be comfortable with their own choices - or something. I don't really know I could never work it out. But I do think that as sex is apparently something absolutely integral to the human species (according to most people) then someone who is not hardwired to want, need or even experience it is actually very threatening. Thus, they have to write you off as sick so they don't have to sit with how challenging your point of view is. If you're like us - autistic and have sensory issues - then blaming that and feeling sorry for you whilst validating themselves is easier to deal with than really examining the possibility that there are others alive in the world who don't need/want/experience this "fundamental" human need.