Do aspies *look* gay?

Post Reply New Topic

I agree. I always thought my best aspie friend was gay because of his mannerisms. now I realize that's just how he is.

When I met a good autistic friend of mine, many people, not just classmates at the time, assumed we both were gay. He doesn't look masculine and his mannerisms
is just his autism playing with him.

We both are terrible at math and sports,
although I get exercise whenever I can.

I was banned from seeing him in May 2008
by my mother, because she is openly anti-ASD.
She also believes my friend is gay.

As for him, he doesn't understand what LGBT means,
so whenever I see him again, I won't tell him I am bisexual.

I never associated it with my aspergers because i think the way i look always played a big role but everybody thinks i'm gay. I guess maybe mannerisms and aspects of aspergers could also have played a role.


I always felt more asexual than straight or gay to be perfectly honest.

Non aspie men will easily learn to fit the male stereotype. They will spend more time than aspie men hanging around in male groups while growing up and so will learn that behaviour quickly.

Haven't seen one yet that DOESN'T look gay.

I'd have to say no on this one, I myself come across as rather camp and most people assume I'm gay. Although for the most part I'd say pretty much no aspie I've come across has set off my gaydar.

Well, I'm female, gay, Aspie, and most people can tell I'm gay. I don't know if it's the Aspie thing or if it's how I dress/look (which is probably more to do with Asperger's than being gay - dressing for comfort, not using make-up, that kind of thing... the result just happens to make me look butch!).

A thought that just came to me is whether those with Asperger's don't look any more gay than NTs per se, but aren't as good at hiding it. Where we have trouble understanding how we appear to others (or caring, sometimes) it might just be that we're less discreet about who we'd look at, that suspicious comments might slip out etc. Thoughts?

This is my first post on Wrong Planet. I just joined yesterday. I'm awaiting assessment, so I'm holding off on whether or not to say I have Asperger's, though I'm more and more inclined to think I do, the more I learn about it and the longer I spend on this site. My first appointment (of what I'm told should be three or four) is next week.

I'm butch, and I grew up a tomboy. Some people think it's obvious that I'm a lesbian, given that I don't make it a point to look or act like what they imagine is the "typical" female. Others miss all that entirely and are so surprised to find out I'm gay that they insist it can't be true. Whatever they're looking at, it's something other than what that first group is seeing. I guess people see what they want or expect to see.

Here's a question: Are there any other butch lesbians with Asperger's who find that, even within the lesbian community, they're not seen as being as butch as they perceive themselves to be? I identify as being so butch that it goes beyond gender expression for me. I actually feel more comfortable thinking of that as my gender identity, rather than either male or female. (I feel my female body is correct for me, though, so I don't wish it were male instead.) But even other lesbians don't always see me this way. Years ago, a lesbian friend told me she didn't think of me as being butch at all. Could it be that butch lesbians with Asperger's sometimes have the same trouble with how they are perceived by others that heterosexual men with Asperger's have?

I'm very interested in reading people's comments on this. Thanks!

I find aspie guys to be a little feminine and aspie girls to be a little masculine. People have thought im gay on more than one occasion i guess, although in my defence i find it's a certain type of person that doesn't look deeply enough that comes to those kind of conclusions with me. No gay guy has ever believed im gay. I don't think im any less male to be a little feminine in the way i think, im just doing things the way i think they should be done, like anyone.