People who let their sexuality define their personality.

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Very good conversation here. I think the big reason people get that misconstrued is that homosexuality has long been toted by conservatives as a "life choice", which completely ignroes the emotional validity of their attraction.

I would venture that really they just like having a sense of acceptance. What we should be doing, though, is trying to get them to group together, instead of having separate services for homosexuals and heterosexuals.

To go off in a different direction though, gay men have very monogamous relationships between other men because there's no sense of long-term commitment. I personally think a lot of it depends on past interactions with the opposite gender.

That is because I was a "mama's boy" who could not have good conversations with women, but could with men and men often protected me far more. Ergo, I went to mena t first until I realised it's an Ermstalz homosexual relationship rather than natural attraction.

Do you think things like that and social anxiety around girls could cause this?

Lesbians are more varying though, as are all girls in general, with their sexuality. Many lesbians don't seem to advertise their sexuality as much as guys though. I find that odd.

Thoughts, anyone?

Thank you for that insight Selena...I forgot that most men tend to be animalistic for a second. I just see two women enjoying themselves together on walks and such, not some disgusting lesbian porn film in my head.

It is nice that acceptance of gays is on the rise. I do wonder just how hereditary it is often though.

I think gendered behavior derives from social training and cultural expectations, not innate tendencies.. Gender essentialist ideas like "men are animalistic" or "all women are nurturers" ignore individual differences. Culturally, straight men are encouraged to prove their "manliness" by expressing lust for women in a very blatant way, while women get called ugly names for behaving in a sexually aggressive fashion. Obviously, individual human beings differ from culturally created concepts about who has stronger sexual urges. There are women, both queer and straight, with very high sex drives. There are straight men who felt uncomfortable with the cultural pressure to act like they are walking penises, eager to have sex with as any women as possible. There are gay men who, contrary to the stereotype of quick bathhouse sex, want a slowly building romantic relationship before moving on to a physical relationship.

Obviously there are many exceptions to this, but generally speaking men have a strong, consistent, clear sex drive. With women, things tend to fluctuate more often and are more sensitive to variables. I think it's just a matter of things being more cut and dried with one gender set (again, oversimplifying here).

I don't know ... it may not be so much their sexuality dictating their behavior, as it is their fear of their sexuality being mis-recognized - such as those uber-Christians who act "holier-than-thou" to prove that they are Christians, and so that they won't be mistaken for Agnostics or Atheists.

I'm answering the initial post more than subsequent ones, but anyways:

I think it's all about the difference between blending in or allowing yourself yo be queer. If you're very visibly gay, the word 'gay' follows you around everywhere you go, along with all the associations people have with it. So like, advantageously you might end up meeting other queer people and people who enjoy their company and you won't even have to go through the trouble of telling them you're queer. Other people will interpret your very presence within normal situations as picking a fight.

Umm, beyond sex I enjoy meeting other queer people, but sex/ dating is also a factor. Like, being visibly gay&queer, surrounding myself with gay people, and immersing myself in LGBTQ activities is a great boon to my success in finding relationships.

But more on associations with the word 'gay' . . . it's technically a sexual orientation, so even if that's just a common denominator between people doing some unrelated task, such as fighting for human rights or bowling or wearing effeminate clothing or having a conversation with eachother, these activities by association end up also being classified as sexual. In fact, the very lives of people who are gay are commonly classified as sexual by those who dis-approve of gayness. Like, if we're visibly gay, our very presence is inappropriate in many contexts according to some people.

So I will sum up my thoughts with an observation and a qualm. O: the people you describe as being obsessed with sex are probably just visibly queer and possibly flirty, and Q: what is your moral basis for describing sexual things as inappropriate? 'common sense' means you have none, 'decency' is undefine-able, the well-being children is not being threatened here, professionalism is a mash of puritanical values leftover from the Puritan origins of american businesses, religion is irrelevant to people who aren't religious, and we're in a post-modern era where everyone forms an arbitrary code of ethics for themselves. Also human rights and homophobia are relevant here.

I actually do know what you're saying but I don't think gay bars and clubs have anything to do with it. That's just an escape, an easy place where you don't have to pretend and deal with being the gay/weird/odd/outsider person there.

I feel the same way about people who define themselves by politics-straight liberals, gay liberals, straight conservatives, whatever. Enough is enough and too much is nasty.

So yes, there are some gay people who talk about it incessantly and want to relate everything to they back to being gay (along with people who do the same thing with a diagnosis they might have or any other kind of label).

IME they're usually young and have something to prove, sometimes you see it with the older set and in this case it can be incredibly annoying.