People who let their sexuality define their personality.

Post Reply New Topic

Hi - I am 'lesbian', in that I am a biological female who is attracted to biological females. However - I don't understand or do 'girly' things like makeup and high heels. I am attracted to intelligence and a someone who can stand up to me! Men can fill these two requirements but I have no understanding of sports and a dislike of male anatomy (no offensive meant guys).
I used to be only comfortable in the LGBT world but now live in a small town which is very 'straight' and our social life involves straight people only. I have learnt that people can be nice and accepting no matter what their gender and sexuality.

Sexual orientation does not always has to do with actions or even feelings. So yes, technically a homosexual person may enjoy sex with the opposite sex although he/she is not sexually attracted to him/her. You can go take a look at AVEN and see there are asexuals who enjoy sex, but he/she is not attracted to that individual sexually. There's even people who watch porn that goes against their sexual orientation. I'd just like to say this. There's even gay men who's married to a woman and admires her though probably she might be the exception to the rule. Sometimes, people tend to be ignorant of what sexual orientation is actually is.

I do let the fact that I am bigender define my personality its just the way I am.

I would agree with some of the posts about how some gay people let their sexuality define their personality. Even though sexuality's a big deal and a big part of who we are as people, I do think that too many gay people and even straight people emphasize their sexualities too much. I don't like how some gay people are like ''I'm gay and this is who I am'', I'm thinking to myself, ''Well what about the other stuff?'' As a woman, I feel like many NTs define me by my sexuality and whether I'm seeing someone or not. Women frequently ask me as a way to socialize if I have a boyfriend, and I'd rather keep that private. I'm open about my own bisexuality, because it's important and I want to advocate for other bi people but there are times where I'm like ''you know there's more to life than sexuality'' and I'm glad other people on this board feel the same way.

It is woth noting I completely defy stereotypes, including the hyper-masculine one. I just act like myself always, but most gay men seem to want those that fit into a "less threatening" appearance. Good way to get acceptance by society, but it is still an act of self-repression.

I live in Australia in a small city (would be tiny by all your standards!) and I went to a gay bar for the first time the other day (we only have one). Almost all of my friends are straight or a little bit bi and I go to "normal" bars usually.

I agree that sexuality shouldn't be a big thing and when I talk to people I talk about same sex relationships and if someone asks me if I have a boyfriend I tell them know and let them know that I am far more likely to have a girlfriend, not to be a smart ass but just so their mind is opened to it and it becomes normal as it is.

As I have already said it really is normal, but at the same time it feels a little special, I feel lucky that I like girls actually!
And "normal" bars do have a little bit of a not so gay friendly vibe, guys tend to crack onto me a lot which I don't like and when I make out with a girl people stare and guys get really excited and want to take photos and have threesomes. I think this is for a few reasons - the majority of the people there are heterosexual or not openly bi or gay and secondly a lot of girls make out with other girls when drunk to turn on guys and just try it so sometimes people presume that if you are kissing a girl because you want to, you are actually doing it to turn on others.
If you are at a gay bar you usually don't have guys cracking onto you or wanting threesomes and if you make out with a girl everyone thinks it's normal and is happy for you. Also there is just a general vibe of acceptance and everyone being themselves and feeling good about it. And also it is about community, just as we are all on here talking to each other about something we have in common, it is nice to talk to people who also have similar sexuality as you.

Flamencita, guys in straight bars I 've heard are pigs and gay bars the guys are as prissy as the women that go there from what I've heard...shame there isn't a better way for the non-stereotypical to find a boyfriend/girlfriend.