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dopplercb
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22 Aug 2011, 3:07 pm

that is the question my 8 year old godson asked me this afternoon. the shirt is a little differetly patterned to what I normally wear, but is no more masculine than any other man's shirt I have worn, and he has never said anything before today. to be clear, I always wear mens shirts. they are more my style and I feel comfortable in them.

children are blunt. too blunt sometimes. his question embarrassed me and left me flustered.

ever experience things like this?



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22 Aug 2011, 3:10 pm

A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt".


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dopplercb
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22 Aug 2011, 3:16 pm

Vince wrote:
A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt".


I wish I could think on my feet like that.



Ambiguity
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22 Aug 2011, 3:33 pm

Vince wrote:
A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt".


This is a great response. I'll have to try and remember it.

OP, I would have been flustered too. Don't try to take it too personally; I'm sure you know that kids tend to speak unfiltered. If anything I'd be more saddened just how deeply sexist thoughts can be engrained even in young people.



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23 Aug 2011, 2:16 pm

At least you didn't do what I would've done. I would've just said 'yes' in a deadpan voice.


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dopplercb
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23 Aug 2011, 4:04 pm

I was too embarassed to say yes, lol.



mb1984
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23 Aug 2011, 4:53 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
At least you didn't do what I would've done. I would've just said 'yes' in a deadpan voice.


That's what I would have done too!


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techn0teen
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04 Sep 2011, 9:52 pm

Vince wrote:
A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt".


That's something I need to consider.

Anyone who says that sexism isn't around is oblivious. Two year olds even exhibit sexist thinking and talking. People should wear whatever the heck they want to wear.



Vince
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04 Sep 2011, 10:09 pm

techn0teen wrote:
Vince wrote:
A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt".


That's something I need to consider.

Anyone who says that sexism isn't around is oblivious. Two year olds even exhibit sexist thinking and talking. People should wear whatever the heck they want to wear.

Comedian Eddie Izzard (who is an open transvestite) has been known to respond to the question of why he occasionally wears women's clothing with something along the lines of "I don't, these are my clothes, I bought them" (probably not an exact quote, but that's the gist of it). I think that's a very sensible way to look at it, and I don't see why it should be any more of a thing than that. If you own the shirt, and you're not a man, then it's by definition not a man's shirt.


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dopplercb
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12 Sep 2011, 2:34 pm

so, yesterday I am playing the sims social on facebook when my godson remarks that my sim is a boy, then asks me if I want to be a boy. I told him to stop asking questions.

I don't know what to do with him.



Vince
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12 Sep 2011, 4:47 pm

[quote="dopplercb"]so, yesterday I am playing the sims social on facebook when my godson remarks that my sim is a boy, then asks me if I want to be a boy. I told him to stop asking questions.

I don't know what to do with him.[/quote]
Asking questions is how we learn things. To tell a child to stop asking questions is to teach him not to gather wisdom. I'm not so sure that's a good idea.



mb1984
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12 Sep 2011, 6:10 pm

My son asks a ton of questions, and I don't always have an answer for him. When I don't know what to say, I usually try to respond with a question so it puts the focus back on him quickly. That's my best advice for next time.
Maybe responding something like "Well what if I did want to be a boy?" or "Isn't it cooler to be a boy?" Or something like that...
But answering difficult questions with a question, usually works with my son. He gets involved in what he was saying, or I make sure to ask a question about what he has said, to further divert his attention. He just forgets he even asked a question.


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Melpomene
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17 Sep 2011, 6:38 am

dopplercb wrote:
so, yesterday I am playing the sims social on facebook when my godson remarks that my sim is a boy, then asks me if I want to be a boy. I told him to stop asking questions.

I don't know what to do with him.


Perhaps not the best response. It discourages him from being curious, and he might feel like he did something wrong when he really didn't. Next time, try asking him a question in return, like mb1984 suggested. Something like "Don't you like to pretend you're someone else sometimes?" might work. Nearly every child engages in fantasy play. Explain to him, on his level, that this is the grown-up equivalent of going outside to slay dragons on your trustworthy steed. Chances are he'll go "Ooooh, okay" and toddle off to find something else to do.