What exactly constitutes a "gay lifestyle?"

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This isn't really a rhetorical question. I'm genuinely curious. If there truly is a gay lifestyle, does that mean that there is also a straight lifestyle? I would imagine that most gay people don't conduct their lives any fundamentally differently from straight people. If one's sexual orientation would count as a lifestyle, then there has to be both a gay and straight lifestyle, but if that were the case, then there wouldn't be any real difference between the two other than which gender one is attracted to.

I'm assuming it's because of a mistaken perception that gay men (lesbians are almost always excluded in this sense) are sex-crazed deviants, and that their lives are consumed by nothing but sex (hence the term "lifestyle"). But if somebody is truly sex-crazed, then wouldn't that be the result of a psychiatric condition, and not because of one's sexual orientation? I'm not saying that having lots of sex wouldn't count as a lifestyle, but if that is the main basis for which people would consider a gay lifestyle, then what would they call heterosexuals who engage in lots of sex? Just sex addicts? In that case, there are double standards at play.

Those are just my thoughts on the matter. I'd like to hear your thoughts as well.

Lifestyle is a stupid word. Technically, Attila The Hun had an active outdoor lifestyle. Any reference to somebody's "lifestyle" is a half-hearted attempt at tolerance by self-righteous New Age hippie types. We don't refer to anything we perceive as bright and normal as a "lifestyle" and that's why lesbians are usually excluded...because we LIKE lesbian sex!

I've always thought it was anti-gay figures referring to a gay lifestyle. I'd like to know what they'd consider to be a straight lifestyle, because it has to exist if there is a gay one.

Also, just because something is deemed a lifestyle doesn't mean it's necessarily bad. In health class, I remember hearing the phrase "healthy lifestyle." A lifestyle constitutes what somebody does on a regular basis (smoking, exercising, etc...). What is it that gays do on a regular basis that straights don't do? The standard gay stereotypes do not apply to everybody on the LGBT spectrum, which is why I don't think a gay lifestyle really exists. If one is sex-crazed, or likes to do kinky things in bed, then that on its own would be a lifestyle, but to say that that would constitute a gay lifestyle would be to overgeneralize gay people.

As my Uncle Todd just said "Having sex with other men constitutes a gay lifestyle"

There's more to being gay than just sex.

I don't stop being gay when I leave the bedroom or my house. I am still gay when I come to work. Now, you'd be hard pressed to distinguish between me and my heterosexual or bisexual colleagues at work, but those characteristics don't fall away any more than our ethnicities or religions.

Being gay permeates everything I do because it is a fundamental characteristic about me. I am the sum total of my experiences, my training and my knowledge, and so a part of that is my experience of being a gay man. When I have suffered discrimination, it has coloured how I perceive and look upon discriminatory practice.

So, would your uncle dispute the fact that, by that standard, a straight lifestyle doesn't differ from a gay lifestyle other than which gender you prefer to have sexual relations with?



So, you're saying that being gay is more an identity than a lifestyle?

To answer your question, no, there is no straight lifestyle, because it's so obvious (??) that it requires no explanation. Things that are a little bit unusual that may need to be explained are called "lifestyle" choices. There is no breathing lifestyle, because everyone does it the same way. A gay lifestyle is when two people of the same sex engage in sexual acts together.

Are all so-called "lifestyle choices" really that unusual, though? Sedentary lifestyles are not that uncommon, especially here in the United States.

He said that he's just naturally quirky and that his personality has nothing to do with whom he sleeps with. Just like my male cousin is naturally stylish (and just great with hair) despite his being straight. He's says he's met men that have a totally "normal" lifestyle, whatever normal is, despite their being homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual. That's his opinion.

I wouldn't have even gotton involved in this conversation if he hadn't made me write that, because I'm personally heterosexual and have no clue what constitutes as a gay lifestyle, so sorry about that. I just thought it was men who were sexually attracted to other men or women sexually attracted to women though, but again, I wouldn't know.

I imagine that the Gay Lifestyle might involve such naughty things as work, family, friends, and lovers.

Other than that, I haven't the vaguest...

I always figured by gay lifestyle people just meant engaging in sex with the same, well, sex. I tend to think mostly along the lines of it meaning having some sort of life partner, but that's probably just because I'm only interested in monogamy. I guess if I had to go more in-depth than that then I'd think a little along the lines of what my gay uncles (or "aunts," as they like to joke that they should be called): into musicals, making sure their home is "stunning," liking to seem very sophisticated (especially when it comes to wine)--but that would be primarily because that's my experience. And some or all of those characteristics could be shared by a straight yuppie couple. Considering that is not a lifestyle I intend to lead (except for the musicals part) I would hardly consider it a requirement of living a gay lifestyle. So, in short, after all that long winded pondering, I guess I think of a gay lifestyle as a gay person who engages in homosexual activity.

Of course being gay is an identity--or an aspect of your identity in any case. That doesn't mean that you couldn't define something about it s as lifestyle too. But at it's core it is a part of ones identity.

I think partly it has to do with the gay stereotypes that are potrayed in the media. I don't think it's really done out of prejudice, but they try to make us look like we have some kind of unique culture (like being obsessed with fashion and musicals) when in reality homosexuals can be anything and are not defined by any characteristics other that being attracted to the same gender. I think the stereotypes we see on TV is what gives people the impression that homosexuality is a lifestyle that tells you that you have to live a certain way to be gay. Maybe the motive behind it is trying to convince the world that we're humans too and have a right to live the way we are?

there is such a thing as a gay hermit. so at least one gay guy deviates from the randy party-hearty social butterfly fashion au courant gym rat model perfect twink macho daddy stereotype.

No, quite the opposite. I think being gay permeates each and every activity of my daily life. It may manifest itself in subtle, almost imperceptible ways; but it is ever present. What's more, it is not merely present as a label that I apply to myself, but is present in my values, my beliefs and my ethics.

I could say the same thing about my being autistic. I always thought of my homosexuality as just being my sexual orientation and nothing else.

I don't know. I suppose I'm just trying to rationalize a very stupid word. The more I read all of this, the more I realize just how stupid a word lifestyle really is.