Autism and Gender - Transgender Issues

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@ Jinks

I'm transgender. MtF as it were. I found a big change on HRT actually. Before I was more quiet and spoke in a monotone, but I made eye contact.

On HRT I now stim much more, find eye contact terrifying, however I have a lot more emotional expression especially in the tone of my voice.

I now LOOK a lot more autistic because the visible behaviors are more prevalent, but I SOUND a lot less. It's kind of odd, but that's my input.

Yeah I have this same problem. I perfectly fine and comfortable with my female body. Brain-wise, I'm more androgynous. I have a hard time relating to females. Sometimes, when nessary I am able to sorta switch on the female side when Im talking to other women. A lot of ultra-feminine things scare me sometimes. I can talk to guys more easily and I've noticed, I've been consciously gravitating towards them more often.

I think that's a very insightful comment, and agree completely.



I think this is really interesting, because I believe my HRT has also affected my symptoms quite a lot. There are so many variables such as the change in social interactions that it's hard to say exactly why that is, but I feel that since being on HRT things like my detail-orientedness, inability to multi-task, concentration on things other than my special interests, and confusion when my routines are disrupted have all been significantly worse than they were before. I don't think I have noticed a difference in external social expression such as eye contact or voice, and in general my social abilities have improved, though I do not think the latter was due to HRT, rather to being able to interact with the world as the correct gender.

It's also interesting that both of us noticed differences even though we were opposite in switching from testosterone to estrogen and vice versa. I would love to see some investigation into this issue, as if I recall hormone levels play an important role in the theories of the development of autism (which may in turn be why it seems to be coincide so frequently with atypical gender identity).

On an unrelated note, I love your username, idratherbeatree!

I think there was a study in the Netherlands a few years ago at a gender clinic where young adolescents and children were being referred, and they found that there was a disproportionate number of those minors on the autism spectrum. In addition, at least half of the adolescents who had GID + ASD or GID-NOS + ASD were still referred for puberty blockers, with cross-sex hormone therapy scheduled to start at 16, assuming they still wished to continue at that point.

If anything, it looks like ASD is more common in people with GID than it is in the general population, so it's hard to see how your comment is valid.

As for effects of hormoens, I honestly have no idea, other than the fact that I do seem to stim more. I also seem to feel lighter (in a good way).

Other than that, I'm not sure at all how it helps social issues or communication or anything like that.

EDIT: Another thing I notice is that I become much more assertive and I won't let people walk all over me.

hi, i came here looking for some understanding into this myself. i was diagnosed when i was young with adhd, but when i was in my late teens, or rather when i was around 20, after coming back home from years of running from unhealthy home relationships, my mother desided to get me on SSI. at the time i thought it was a good idea cause i would get free cash. i had no idea what i was getting into at the time. growing up i was a loaner, mostly because i never really learned healthy relationships with others. i was raised living with my grandparents and my mother always concerned with her bf, or away at school. before that as i got older and reunited with my birth father, i later found out the reason for living with my grandparents was that my mother at the time was addicted to drugs and pills, and i had gotten burned from a hot pot of water while my mother was knodded out on pills.my father had just gotten home from work to find me burning. i was rushed to the hospital, shortly after, my father took me to my aunt's house to get us away from my mother. they went to court, my father felt it best that i go live with my mom at my grandparents house. i found out allot that was never told to me, but i got over it. anyways, rewind before i found this stuff out. when i was in high school, her husband and her were always fighting, and she had gotten ill, but also she was always noding out, drooling and doing crazy stuff. back when he was just her bf, he was abusive twords me, not sexually, but physically, we later moved, then is when she got sick, and his abusive ways started again, but i was older. i have allot of anger and abandonment issues, although i have always had and do have a big heart for others, although as of late i have felt very withdrawn again as i do feel i am suffering gender dysphoria, something i felt i delt with in my teens, and at times my later years. well its basically gotten to a point where i have felt extreme depersonalization from, and ive been feeling like nothing matters. i feel dead inside, and the dysphoria is stronger than ever the past 2 years. at first i had no idea what was wrong, but then i remembered the feelings. anyways, all my mind can do is race about not feeling i am who i am, that in fact i am female, and one day i just blurted out that i am trans. well im wanting to look for a therapist that who deals with gender, but i have this fear that because ive been diagnosed with other mental problems that i will not be eligable to transition, and to me it took so much to even come out to others. i have done alot of study on it, and i know for sure this is something i would like to do as i have cross dressed before, and always had a fettish for womens cloathing. not sexual fetish, but i have tried them on and felt comfortable, but beyond that, its very hard to look at myself in the mirror and like what i see, or feel as though i am looking at me. ive never been a manly man although ive tried because i felt i was suppose to because its the way i was born and somewhat raised, but it never felt right. i always felt anxiety trying to be someone i wasn't, but i do like women, so i always felt i had to act like any other male although ive never felt like others. sure i did play a few sports growing up, and did love them. i even played hockey and did really well in goal, but when not doing that ide skateboard i think because it was something that both the boys and girls did where i grew up, after that i got into punk, wore tight pants and dyed my hair all kinds of colors. learned to sew, make cloaths and screen shirts and patches. learned to cook. although a male, i felt in ways it gave me an outlet to be different, more myself, but not fully. well i got older and found it was time to grow up, and stop with the games. i started working in kitchens and had gf, but even then, there was always this forced feeling to be and act manly. i had to look nice for the ladies, so i got into wearing "daper" cloathing. yeah i looked hansome and still do, but i always wished i coud wear what my gf's wore, and i always had to buy my gf's cloaths that i liked. i would even go shopping with them and tell them what i liked and didnt. i wasnt afraid to go shopping and i had fun, but i still felt dull inside. i felt so preasured all the time that i would go through bipolar episodes, and even 2 years ago after my last relationship, i had such an episode of bipolar, that i exploded, tried to kill myself. in this i learned about cbt, and buddhism. i made great strides in it, so much that i came to a point where i felt i didnt exist anymore, and felt i was floating in heaven, and everything became love and calm, but then i had the feeling of being pulled back into my body not knowing where or who i was, or what to do. well this is gradually adjusting itself over time, but in it, i have noticed the dysphoria coming back, and harder than ever. i feel now i have been struggeling with it as now spirituallity and religion means the world to me, but i feel ive at least gotten over the feeling that it would be, or is wrong to transition, but also right now i have the fear that because of everything from my past, the diagnosises ive been labeled as having, and because my mother herself works in the field of psychiatry, that i have so much lined against me from transitioning. my mother keeps trying to deteer me from it. she keeps trying to feed me meds and saying that what i am feeling, what i am going through is not gender dysphoria, but i know it is because i know how i feel, i know what my own thoughts are, and i know its not fed by others. ive even tried praying and meditating it away, but i cant. i have all these thoughts from religion, to society to family. what everyone tells me i should be, everything i should fear, so much that i think about killing myself. well ive been working on those feelings of not feeling godly, and anything like that, but still have fear how others are going to treat me, including some close friends and family, but my biggest fear right now is could and would they re evaluate and allow me to trasition? mind you, its been so bad that i feel depersonalized, and even struggle to work, cause i get tunnel vission. i feel like im not who others see, and i have trouble looking and showing myself to others, so when i do i feel exposed as a fake because right now i really do not feel myself, or who i should and was ment to be, which i view as woman. am i crazy? am i autistic like everyone in the medical field tells me i am? the anxiety is overwhealming, i try to stay calm, but i can't. i just want the dysphoria to come to an end. i want to be taken serious for once in my life. im tired of others telling me who i am or what i feel, or how i should feel. i realize to a degree i do need help getting on my feet, and off of ssi at the moment because it seems to be the only thing ive got right now, but ide like to move past it, but ide also like to just be me for once!

I have a similar problem, if not the exact same one. >.< It really confuses me~.

I have very long hair and often wear skirts and dresses, but my mom has always said that I'm more like a son than a daughter to her. I find that guys are much easier to talk to, while I have a very hard time relating to girls. It feels like girls are the opposite gender of me... but they're not! Totally stresses me out.

I'm the same! You totally just summed up how I feel about my gender. Interesting.

So is it just me, or do women in general stim a lot more than men do? As far as I noticed, women do it a lot more, but that may just be because I pay more attention to women. Well, if so, that's one of the traits of autism that I don't think can be explained with EMB. Also, the eye contact thing as well.

Seems like you're dissect many females pretty closely

I don't quite understand what you are saying.

It's four years gone by now, but it seems almost like their serotonin went wonky. I almost have to wonder if idratherbeatree was a) going through a hormone balance readjustment, the body does that on hrt, or b) had too high a dosage and was converting E to T, or c) otherwise did not regulate serotonin with estrogen as expected but rather testosterone.

You know, if I were to armchair-diagnose it with that endocrine degree I don't have...