Interesting Observation Concerning Sexuality and Choice

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I've seen comments and heard many statements from individuals on their opinions and views of sex and sexuality. One comment always gains my attention can be summed up in the following sentence. "Individuals who are gay or lesbian choose to be so. Homosexuality is a lifestyle choice." Whether or not these statements are valid is not the thing that actually draws my attention. What does pique my interest is what would cause someone to come to that conclusion. What does it infer about the person making that statement? Is that claim simply done out of ignorance of the other, or is there actually more to it?

Would it be too odd to assume that the person making such statements is actually bisexual and simply repressing their natural state? If you break down the statement, no matter how it is worded, it implies that the person stating those views thinks of other sexual preferences as a choice. If they think of sexual preference as a choice, and assume that others choose to be on the fringes of society based on who they take to bed as consenting adults, does that mean that they have chosen to be heterosexual?

What are your thoughts on this? Sorry if grammar and wording are confusing. It's late here and I can't quite get to sleep as this pondering has been nagging me for some other perspectives.

People who presume gay people "choose" to be gay are no different than those who presume Autistic people "choose" to be different-
it is not only easier to project one's own inherent way of being onto others,
but it allows you to then blame the individual personally for their difference.

Lack of theory of mind + a superiority complex, essentially.

I don't think the "homosexuality is a choice cause heterosexuality is the default herp de derp" crowd is by virtue of that silly sentiment less likely to be heterosexual- that seems to be something made up about them by those who disagree with them, oddly-enough, it would seem, as some sort of insult.

Could a person who believes that gays 'choose' to be gay, themselves choose to be gay? I don't mean to just engage in sex with a person of their own gender; but rather to actually choose to 'prefer' or 'fantasize' about their own gender.

I don't think it's possible. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Maybe nature, maybe nurture, but I don't think choice is much of a factor.

everyone can choose how they act but noone can choose how they feel best acting

Nobody can chose their preferences, and this includes more than being straight or gay. There are many paraphilias and fetishes and, people who state that others could chose should look at animals. Homosexuality is common not only in polygamous genera but also in birds, who live monogamous. There was one famous gay couple of penguins in a zoo and it was not due to a lack of female mates that they were gay.

Possibly, but it depends on the angle from which you observe it. That's a more psychological explanation.

For any reason, many people want to mirror themselves in others. They are convinced that we would have paradise on earth if only all the other people were like themselves. A few hundred years ago, they would have killed the gays on the grounds that they were in league with the devil, but today they can only degrade them verbally. If they say "You chose to be deviant," they say "it's your own fault".

IMO it's a kind of fanaticism, based on black and white thinking.

OP i think i get you. putting aside nature/nurture, you are wondering whether people making those statements about choice accept that it must, by default, be true about them, too. honestly, i think they lack that level of recprocity in their thinking. they see hetero as the proper default state, and anything different from that must be a choice, but they would not believe the reverse to be true. because in their minds homosexuality is inherently wrong.

I think that it's rooted in behavioural determinism.

When it comes to people who have sex with the same sex, I see three concentric classifications:

"Homosexual actors" are people who engage in homosexual acts who do not have a homosexual or bisexual orientation, and whose actions are motivated by external factors. This could include people confined to single sex environments, "gay-for-pay," or curiosity and experimentation.

"Homosexuals" are people whose sexuality is primarily oriented towards members of the same sex.

"Gay people" are those who, to some extent, live within the context of their sexuality. This might be as limited as simply refusing to marry and living as a "confirmed bachelor" or it may be extensive as being publicly out and living overtly with a spouse or partner of the same sex.

By definition, all gay people are homosexuals, and all homosexuals are (unless celibate) homosexual actors. But the reverse is not true.

And while I believe it is entirely possible to choose one's sexual behaviour, I do not believe that it is possible to choose one's sexuality. You can choose to have sex with a member of the same sex--but that does not make you a homosexual. A homosexual can choose not to have sex with members of the same sex, but that does not make the person a heterosexual.

I don't care is sexuality is a "choice" or not.

Whether one "chooses" to be gay is irrelevant to the fact they deserve the same respect as anyone else.

it would be so nice if we could all just get along. it would be nice if gay people and straight people could chat with one another and do things together, and not be in de facto segregated environments.

First I would like to thank everyone for the replies. Second I'd like to apologize for not being more active in the topic. I've had a difficult week, interruption to routine, among other things at the workplace have left me rather miserable. That said I'm feeling better today so let me get back to the topic at hand. I think that hyperlexian was the one who understood my point in it's most basic sense. I am not one to question people's sexuality. I myself have one that is non standard but still accepted in the most part amongst consenting adults.

What brought the issue to my mind were the recent comments given by Herman Cain and what I've overheard or even argued against with others directly. I for one have always wondered if those who argue with the most passion that being homosexual is a choice do not recognize or simply deny the fact that they are indeed bisexual innately. Thanks again though to everyone who has given their point of view to the topic.

shakespeare had something to say about such in his play "hamlet" when he included the line "the lady doth protest too much, me thinks," whose meaning is that one can insist so passionately about something not being true that people suspect the opposite of what one is saying."

I don't believe in ANY sexuality, sex used to just be regarded as pleasure not straight or gay, and I honestly enjoy both genders.

I believe that the phrase has it's roots in the idea that homosexuality is a sin, and is therefore unnatural to man. On that logic, an individual who engages in homosexual acts is not acting on a natural impulse but is instead intentionally indulging in a sin. You choose to engage of the sin of homosexuality much as you choose to engage in the sin of, say, greed or envy.

I don't put much credit into the idea that people who use the phrase are just "repressing their bisexual leanings." The people using that phrase are either religious or ignorantly parroting the religious. The trouble with this topic is that people don't think about it. On either side, if we're being honest with ourselves. It's an inflammatory topic and people like to let their impulses do the talking. They mindlessly mimic the popular opinion without bothering to think about the situation realistically. How else do you explain people who worship the god of love and tolerance standing up preaching about hatred and eternal damnation? It's not logical for an Christian to intentionally attack another person, judge, and condemn them.

But that's humanity for you.

They believe it is a choice to act on our feelings and it is. I personally think even if we don't do gay things we are still gay. Know what I mean?

In society thought gay doesn't just mean that you have sex with guys. It's how you act. Gay=feminine straight= masculine.

IMHO,,,Guys like to be with guys I think they naturally want to be with each other but are repressed, guys do the gayest things together. anyone see that everywhere? I don't know though. I feel "Straight" kinda. I just like to hang with the guys, we can watch sports, wrestle, work out, hit the showers, JO. but I can see myself marring a girl. I would love her but not romantically. I would have babies with her but I would have JO and BJ sessions with my guy friends. No butt sex though. That's too gay for me.

I don't know...the first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club?

Maybe thats why we have all the divorces, men and woman arent suppose to stay together that long?

Actually, that's a slight misinterpretation of the line.

At the beginning of the 17th century, the meaning of "protest," was affirmative, in the sense of making an oath.

At this point in the play, the Player Queen has been insisting passionately about her love being true that she loses credibility.

(But thanks for putting the, "methinks," in the correct position in the quote!)

you've got to be the brightest person i've met on WP.