Don't know what I am

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Hey, I've been having a bit of trouble. Last year I thought I was gay, now I'm bi, but now I wonder what it's like to be a guy, but I don't want to give up being a girl. Am I some weird form of bi-gender? I wanted to cross-dress once and I once was binding my chest with an Ace-Bandage thingie, but my mom got mad because she thought I was only doing it because I was watching Degrassi (that idea was stupid and she thought I was weird for wanting to try it, because she thought I was too young. If I'm trying to figure myself out, why stop me from trying things that won't hurt me???)

Um, Ace bandages WILL hurt you. Don't use them; there are so many other things you can use. I'll see if I can find that link with all the ideas...

http://everything2.com/title/How+to+bind+breasts

If all else fails, go ahead and buy yourself a real binder. Or have your mom get you one, if she's willing.

Maybe you're bi-gender, or maybe you're FTM and you've been hiding it from yourself, or maybe you're confused because of your past or a movie or whatever...but you'll just have to sort those feelings out by yourself or with a gender therapist. If your mom is so against it, tell her what I told my mom: if you're not male, it will help you find your true feelings and get you away from that obsession.

I hope everything goes well for you!

I hear you, I'm exactly the same. I'm switching between seeing myself as bisexual and gay and my gender identity is equally unclear. I don't want to become a man physically, but I'm also not comfortable with my female body. I kind of want to look like a tomboy, a butch. There's a term called genderqueer, which means that you don't wanat to choose gender or want parts from both genders. Is that what you mean with bi-gender? I don't have any good advice except to try to find out what you want, experiment with different roles.

bi-gender is a term that refers to someone who feels male on certain days or in certain situations, and female in others. They often switch their presentation back and forth between male and female.

I thought I was bi-gender at first, but I wanted the male body too badly. If it was possible to switch between being a tomboy female with a female voice and a male with a male voice and facial hair, I might do it, but that's not possible so I wanted the male voice and facial hair too badly so I started taking testosterone to physically transition. Some days I still miss my female singing voice, but I wouldn't want to permanently be a woman. I like passing as male too much.

Well let's remember that you are still an adolescent. That doesn't invalidate any of the things that you are feeling, but it might help put some of the questions that you have about your self-identity into perspective. With all of the work that your body is presently doing, it is no surprise that you are feeling inconsistent things about your identity, your body and your sexuality. Given time, these things may settle down and you will find yourself with a fairly clear idea of who you are.

In the meantime, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being unsure. As for trying things out, I think that it is fine, provided that you take a careful approach to it. For example, presenting yourself to your peers as bi-gender now might put you in that category permanently, even if you discover later that you have a different, clearer understanding of yourself.

Binding should be approached with care. From a medical perspective, I recommend against using elastic bandages on a daily basis--for occasional use they're fine, but daily use can weaken the muscles that support your rib cage.