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tk5800
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26 Jan 2013, 9:24 am

I am gay and have been with my fiance for 2 years butt there is a problem

I occasionally like looking at women, and imagining....sexy things and it got me thinking, what if I am bi, or even str- no, I like the dick to much

anyway, I have heard peoples orientation and sexuality shift with time, is this what is happening or do I just like the shape of a womans butt?


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Raziel
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26 Jan 2013, 10:47 am

I never really worried about my sexual orientation.
I even couldn't really tell you if I'm straight, homosexual or bisexual.

But I know it is important that you love your fiance. If you are in relationship with a guy and you start finding women sexy who cares, so long you still love him and are true blue.


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HarrisDE
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26 Jan 2013, 3:41 pm

They say that 90 percent of sexuality is between your ears.

I'd recommend listening to Dan Savage's "Savage LoveCast" for some perspective.

Otherwise, I'll just say that sexuality is much more fluid for some people, than for others. Also, strict monogamy is not the only option in relationships, but it's important to have a very honest relationship with your partner to protect cohesion if things are to be opened up at all.



Heidi80
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28 Jan 2013, 5:33 am

questioning your sexuality is normal. I'm in a good relationship and am more attracted to women than to men, but I still sometimes look at men.



visagrunt
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28 Jan 2013, 3:20 pm

What if you're not? Then you're not. Simple as that.

Now, as far as the impact that this has on your relationship, in essence it is no different than any other part of your sexuality that your partner is unable or unwilling to fulfil. You might get turned on by redheads, but your partner is brown-haired. This doesn't mean that you're going to turn around and sleep with the first redhead that you meet. Similarly, just because you occasionally find women attractive does not mean that you can't maintain a happy, sexually healthy, monogamous (if that's what you both want) relationship with your partner.

Keep the lines of communication open.
Never assume that it's easier to beg for foregiveness than to ask for permission.
Always respect the reasonable limits that your partner puts on your relationship, and don't put unreasonable limits on your partner.

The rest is just needlework.


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ASDsmom
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29 Jan 2013, 7:35 pm

Sexuality is fluid. If you're engaged with a partner, it means you're in love and are willing to make a life-long committment. We don't just "get engaged".. we're not Hollywood stars (typically) .. and naturally, we're going to be surrounded by beautiful people all the time. Isn't it ok to have sexual fantasies about a beautiful person, despite their gender? I think so.

Love is still love so "marry the one you're with".
:)