Sexuality changing during lifetime?

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Has anybody else felt that their sexuality has changed during their lifetime?

When I was a teenager I felt that I was exclusively gay. However, as I grew older I felt a stronger attraction to women and now at the age of 45 I feel that I am 95% straight. It's therefore easiest for me to identify now as bisexual.

The change hasn't been something I've tried to make happen, it's just happened naturally. I am trying to be completely honest with myself about the situation.

Some people (including therapists) I've spoken to have denied that this is possible and insist that sexuality is set at birth and is fixed for life

I don't think I've ever spoken to anybody with a comparable experience.

Thanks

I've known people where it's gone the other way... but I've never heard of it happening that way around.

Personally, I've come to identify as bisexual/pansexual over the years. But that's not a result of changing sexuality; just coming to realise that's the way I am. Your situation is new to me!

While sexuality is generally innate, it can change over time for some people. A lot of gay activists will refuse to admit this, though it seems true. I can't blame them for that, though; it's already bad enough arguing with social conservatives over gay rights, and such an admission would only give social conservatives more ammunition.

I know it can change in the case of transgender people as they transition, particularly after starting hormone replacement. Before hormones, I was always solely attracted to women. The idea of being with a man felt gross. Since starting estrogen, I'm still attracted to women, but I would *love* to be held and caressed by a man who cared for me.

Sexuality - particularly for bisexuals - can often be driven by external factors that go beyond a simple attraction to one sex or the other. I have known I have an attraction to both sexes since I was 18 or so. When I was younger, I was maybe 60-percent straight, 40-percent gay but I wanted a family and the people in my life were highly disapproving of homosexuality. So I tapped into my straight side and pursued women exclusively. To that end, I am now happily married with a family of my own. But at 42, I am feeling at least as gay as I am straight and the idea of a relationship with a man is exciting to me ... so it's a huge source of inner conflict. I know what the right answer is in my situation but it doesn't make it easier. Every day, it feels like I have to make the decision to NOT pursue a gay relationship. It is very tiring and yet I accept it as being part of who I am and the decisions I've made with my life.

It is wrong, I suggest to use the terms "sexuality" and "sexual orientation" interchangably here.

My sexual orientation has never deviated from an exclusive homosexual orientation. However my sexuality certainly has changed. When I was a young man, I had more partners, and more casual relationships. Then I entered into a closed, monogamous (sic) relationship with my partner. Still later, we changed from a closed to an open relationship. I have discovered new things that interest me, and the type of men that I find attractive has changed, too. All of these changes are changes in my sexuality.

But throughout this time, my orientation towards other men has not changed.

It seems to me that sexuality and sexual orientation can and ought to change over time in response to the individual's changing perceptions of the world and to changes within society itself. Over my lifetime I've gone from considering myself 100% congenitally gay to an individual of no particular orientation, and this may reflect both the tremendous change in the importance of women in society over my lifetime and my growing personal realization of the importance of bringing new life into the world.

I like to say that I've done every letter of the LGBT at one time or another

A lot of that had to do with getting my own head sorted out re gender dysphoria and transitioning, but over the last couple of years I've hit a stable 'range', where I swing about between gay and bisexual-leaning-towards-strait, according to when I last had my T* shot. So I suppose I still do all the letters but 'L' (though to be honest, I was a really rubbish lesbian anyway).


*testosterone

I think it has a lot to do with exactly how you become attracted to people.

I think women are more often bisexual they're not usually as visually stimulated as men. Men usually have a pretty narrow and definite "type". For women it's more emotional.

So were you physically attracted to the male form as a teen and switched to being physically attracted and aroused by women?

Because that would be interesting. If you have an orientation that is more like a woman's though, I could see you being attracted to either sex.

I don't know if my sexual orientation has changed or if I just found out my real sexual orientation very late. I didn't know I was attracted to women too until I was about 26 and fell in love with my best friend. I then identified as bisexual for a few years and now I'm mostly lesbian, but haven't compleately ruled out falling for a man sometimes

If you follow the idea that sexuality is fluid, it makes sense for it to change as we change as people.

I've been pansexual since childhood - I have a preference to males but that has changed over the years for example I was leaning more towards women in my pre-teens/teens, or I can also go between preference to males/females depending on the time of the month or differences depending on a persons sex verses gender. At the moment I'm honestly a little worried that I might be becoming...straight!

EXPECIALLY and kittylover also touch on the influence of hormones, hormonal birth control especially has been shown to alter a persons choice in mate - although research so far shows a preference for people on the pill to choose jerks, also suppressing certain aspects of how women express their sexuality, but it wouldn't be surprising if it had other effects on which sex/gender they are attracted to too. I'd guess various environmental factors could contribute, if not simply a case of changing preferences with a change in world view. Then of course you get the cases of people just waking up one day to find they're gay, either through events like strokes or without any clear explanation.

I am a man who is sexually attracted to other men.

However, dating and the thought of actually dating produces such anxiety. In practical terms, "asexual" or "loser" would probably describe me best.

Over the years I have gone from a string of brief, hurtful, failed relationships, to actively seeking a relationship and not having one, to not having one and settling with being alone. That has been my evolution, at least. I'm almost 28.

If the right guy came into my life I'd be thrilled but I am "a lot to deal with," I'm aware.