first boy friend-I don't want to screw up

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frostbite
Blue Jay
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12 Jan 2013, 3:59 pm

Well here goes. I am a male bisexual virgin, and I recently acquired my first BF (I have had 2 GFs in the past). He is for all intensive purposes wonderful. I dated a few men which I deemed incompatible before I met him (I am not desperate by any means, I am moderately picky in a healthy way) We have been webcaming for over a week now just getting to know each other. This is my 3rd relationship and so far seams to be the best one. In a week he is coming to visit me for a little while. I find him utterly irresistible, and the odds of us having sex when he visits are very high and we both know it. When he visits we will have been together for 2 weeks. My only concern is the possibility of having sex too soon. But I also want to make the most of his time with me before he leaves (it may be a while before we see each other in person again). Am I over thinking this? Should I just let a good thing happen naturally?


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cathylynn
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12 Jan 2013, 4:42 pm

two words - safe sex. you won't know him well enough to forego protection.



frostbite
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12 Jan 2013, 6:33 pm

Of course, we have both agreed that safe sex is an absolute must


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cathylynn
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12 Jan 2013, 7:12 pm

have fun.



HarrisDE
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13 Jan 2013, 5:09 pm

My recommendation is to trust your gut. I do not advocate abstinence, by any means, but if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.

There are more guys in the world than any gay man could ever hope to shake his dick at. So just go into it knowing that anything is possible, and hope for the best. But, if he doesn't feel right, there are plenty of other guys to get through.

I like to listen to the song "Til I Get To U" by Nika Costa when I'm feeling frustrated about dating. It just affirms that one must naturally make many mistakes before getting to someone who is right for you. As Dan Savage says, "every relationship that you are ever in WILL FAIL... until one doesn't."

Keep it low-pressure and honest, and I'm sure you'll have a rewarding experience with this guy. Good luck!



visagrunt
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14 Jan 2013, 3:23 pm

frostbite,

I echo everything that HarrisDE has said.

Embrace your screwups. You will screw up. So will he. We all do. And that's how we learn. Don't seek to avoid screwups--seek to mitigate them. When you make a mistake, apologize. When he makes a mistake, forgive. Talk to each other. Learn. And try to make sure that you don't repeat your screwups.

And enjoy yourselves. Whether you have sex or not.


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