What do you think about same sex adoption

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pawelk1986
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12 Sep 2014, 5:37 am

While i'm bisexual, i do support same-sex unions with marriage like privileges and responsibility i do't like gays to called it marriage or make church ceremony for such unions.

Currently i Play Sims 4 and i made gay couple two "husbands" i make them adopt kid, i'm bisexual, more homosexual than heterosexual :(
But i do not support gay adoptions in real life aside adoptions their owns biological offspring

I wonder does others among LGBT community feel resentment to gay adoptions?



AstroGeek
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12 Sep 2014, 6:23 am

Well, first of all, it does irritate me somewhat when people support same-sex partnerships as long as they aren't called "marriage." It smacks of "separate but equal," like how black people were treated pre-Civil Rights. As for the involvement of the church--I think that should be left up to the individual church and minister.

Now, moving on to adoption... Why would LGBT people resent same-sex adoption? And why would you oppose it? It would be far better to be raised by a same-sex couple than to be left in a foster home. In fact, research has shown that children raised by a lesbian couple might even turn out better on average than those raised by heterosexual couples. The adoption process should be entirely based on an individual's or a couple's suitability to be parents and the genders of those involved are not relevant to this evaluation.



progaspie
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12 Sep 2014, 6:24 am

Provided the child is adopted out to a loving family, the sexual orientation of the parents doesn't matter.



pawelk1986
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12 Sep 2014, 9:05 am

I heard that kid require dad and mom as role model, both sexes.



CosmicRuss
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12 Sep 2014, 9:56 am

pawelk1986 wrote:
I heard that kid require dad and mom as role model, both sexes.
There is an extended family usually, no adopted children of same-sex couples only know their mothers or fathers they interact with aunts/uncles, grandparents too.


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Alyosha
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12 Sep 2014, 10:30 am

CosmicRuss wrote:
pawelk1986 wrote:
I heard that kid require dad and mom as role model, both sexes.
There is an extended family usually, no adopted children of same-sex couples only know their mothers or fathers they interact with aunts/uncles, grandparents too.


indeed but say it did mean ONLY THE PARENTS that would mean single parents are surely not fit as well? but single parent adoptions happen if you can prove you have the support network to manage it. generally speaking a settled permanent home is better than a foster home depening on the foster home and the settled permanent home. (although foster homes do turn into settled permanent homes on a frequent basis as was the case for my boyfriend and one of his sisters.)

i dont see why lgbt adoption (specifically lgb and t people can be competely heterosexual and not involved in 'gay' adoption at all) would be a bad thing. a kid gets a family and a home and a couple get a kid and to be parents. a win for all involved surely?



Asperger96
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12 Sep 2014, 11:04 am

My Gram's cousin is a woman in a same-sex marriage. She and her wife adopted a baby boy from around Russia, only to learn once he arrived that he was badly disabled. However, they love that little boy with all their hearts, unlike his birth parents who abandoned him because he was disabled.

Anyone who says a same-sex couple can't be good parents gets on my nerves. There are far too many parentless children, and far too many gay couples that would make great parents. To disagree with those adoptions is, in my opinion, homophobic and cruel to both the couple and the kid they would have taken care of.



AstroGeek
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12 Sep 2014, 8:18 pm

pawelk1986 wrote:
I heard that kid require dad and mom as role model, both sexes.

Well, that's a common talking point amongst conservatives. But as others have said, the child can get both male and female role-models via their extended family. And frankly, LGBT people are a lot less likely to conform to gender stereotypes and traditional gender roles anyway, so I don't know that the argument is valid. Regardless, it would still be better to be raised in the absence of a role model of one sex than to be raised in the foster system.



goldfish21
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12 Sep 2014, 10:37 pm

I support same sex marriage for whoever wants to get married.
I support same sex church weddings for whoever wants to get married in a church.
I support same sex adoption, too. I'd rather see kids raised by people who want them than those who don't.


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goldfish21
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12 Sep 2014, 10:42 pm

Study: Children raised by same-sex parents are ?healthier and happier?

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/07/05/st ... d-happier/


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nuttyengineer
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14 Sep 2014, 11:48 pm

I'm personally of the opinion that a same-sex adoption is hell of a lot better than no adoption at all. I don't really buy in to most of the arguments that children need to have both a mother and father in their lives to be well-adjusted. As mentioned previously, there are plenty of people out there raised by single parents who do just fine...

I also agree with AstroGeek's comment about marriage. I don't really see what the problem is with calling it a marriage. As for getting married in a church as an LGBT couple, why would you want to do that when you know they don't want you there?


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goldfish21
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15 Sep 2014, 2:23 am

nuttyengineer wrote:
As for getting married in a church as an LGBT couple, why would you want to do that when you know they don't want you there?


Not all churches don't welcome lgbt people. Some even specifically cater to them.

That's why I say if an lgbt couple wants to get married in a church, they ought to be able to - hell, even if they want to get married in a church that doesn't want them there I think they should be able to.

Personally, I don't really buy into organized religion of any kind and don't care one way or the other about attending church or ever getting married in one. But for those who are into it, feel free to have at it all you want.


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Pietus
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16 Sep 2014, 7:39 am

I don't really understand why people feel a need to inflict their views onto other people. I consider myself "pro-choice", as in, you can choose what you like.

If you don't like gay marriage, don't get married (If you're gay obviously)

It's really quite simple. Our entire world is structured so that we have the ability to choose what to believe in, and what to base our morals and ethics around. The same argument goes for people who are anti-abortion, not trying to cause any arguments here, it's simply an example, but if you don't believe abortion is morally correct, don't have one.

More specifically to the OP:

The argument that "Children need both a mother and father" is the one they use here in Australia for the states that don't have gay marriage/adoption, but it's been proven irrelevant, and personally makes me incredibly angry. Partners in a same-sex relationship are capable of acting both roles, ultimately they are the parents and they love their child, they'll do what they believe is best for them. -This is proven.

I have to say I AM curious as to why you don't support gay adoption? If that's okay me asking, and the same with marriage. Being married but not calling it "marriage" IS still marriage, but like AstroGeek said, it's the "separate but equal" thing again.

I find it even more interesting that you are bisexual, and by your own admittance more homosexual than hetero (Why the sad face?)

If you ARE on the spectrum, which is likely considering the website, and this is just a specualtion, I don't know. But consider the idea that you could be against gay adoption and marriage simply because YOU don't want to adopt/marry? Just a thought.

But I don't hold any resentment towards gay adoptions, and whilst I can understand how some people might, I refuse to accept any person who tries to force that view on other people.

Cheers



BuyerBeware
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06 Oct 2014, 12:06 pm

The "children need both a mother and a father" thing makes me almost as mad as the "All gay people are child molesters" thing.

Look-- I grew up in a non-traditional family for most of my life. I lived with both biological parents until I was 2 and a half. Then my parents split up, my mom moved in with her abusive lover and my dad bought a trailer and moved in next-holler to his sister. I had my mother on Sunday evenings, my father from Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon, and my mom's parents the rest of the time.

By and large, it worked out fine.

When I was about six, my mother got rid of the lover. I had my her parents during working hours, my mother and an ever-changing array of boyfriends in the evenings, and my father from Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon.

By and large, it worked out fine.

When I was about eight or nine, my mother got too sick (cancer) to really be a parent any more. So I had her parents after school, and my father on Wednesday nights and weekends. Eventually it started being my father on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights and weekends.

Then my mother died. And I had my grandparents after school until my dad got up (he worked midnight shift) and overnight, and my dad in the evenings and on weekends.

Then I finished middle school, and we moved to the boonies. And I had my dad in the morning, and in the evening, and on Saturday evenings and Sunday.

Through it all, there was also some revolving assortment of friends' parents, the friends of my parents, my aunt and grandmother on my dad's side, and other random acquaintances, teachers, counselors, relatives, and fictional people who also served as role models.

By and large, it worked out fine. I'm screwed-up...

...but I don't know any Aspies who aren't screwed up, and I've had multiple therapists tell me that I'm awfully sane for a feral Aspie, and what I really need to do is accept that and like me. Which tells me that someone, probably several someones, somewhere in that stew of raising me probably did something, probably multiple somethings, right.

I probably would not have turned out as well had I been brought up in a stable, conventional household with Mother and Father in charge and relatives being people we made nice for on holidays. I think, to be frank, that I lucked out with my non-traditional (really?? When did extended families become non-traditional?? When did it become non-traditional for s**t to happen, and families to have to adapt??) family.

Kids don't need A Mother And A Father Who Occupy Traditional Roles. Kids need as many people as they can get, regardless of the relationship or the orientation of the junk between the legs, who give a crap about them, express that giving a crap in a positive way, can communicate with each other so that they're all giving a crap if not out of the same book at least in the same language, and protect them from people who will beat, batter, belittle, molest, or shelter them out of all experience of the world.

If that's just one person-- that one person has a tough road cut out for them. If that's two people, it's a little easier (in most respects). If that's half a dozen (or half a hundred) people, that's probably better for the kid.

At least, that's what I tell myself as I'm trying not to choke my mother-in-law (or let her choke me).

What kids DON'T need, every bit as much as they don't need to be beaten or verbally abused or anally raped, is for our society to set a proscription, ANY PROSCRIPTION, that says that "This paradigm and family situation is the right way to raise kids, and anything that falls outside it is substandard and not OK."

There's a REAL SHORT LIST of "DON'TS" in raising a kid. DON'T BEAT. DON'T BANG. DON'T BUG, BADGER, BUST, AND BELITTLE TO THE POINT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE. DON'T ABANDON. Other than that, there are 7,000,000 "right" ways to raise a kid.


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nuttyengineer
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06 Oct 2014, 7:57 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:
What kids DON'T need, every bit as much as they don't need to be beaten or verbally abused or anally raped, is for our society to set a proscription, ANY PROSCRIPTION, that says that "This paradigm and family situation is the right way to raise kids, and anything that falls outside it is substandard and not OK."

There's a REAL SHORT LIST of "DON'TS" in raising a kid. DON'T BEAT. DON'T BANG. DON'T BUG, BADGER, BUST, AND BELITTLE TO THE POINT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE. DON'T ABANDON. Other than that, there are 7,000,000 "right" ways to raise a kid.


Seconded!


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maecrab
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02 Nov 2014, 3:51 am

To OP, it's important to remember that it's not only children coming from foster homes/adoption agencies who are legally adopted, but biological children of a same sex couple. With one parent as the biological parent (either as a decision that couple made, or from a previous relationship, as often happens), the other usually has to go through the legal adoption process to be considered the child's parent. This is EXTREMELY important to protect the child from, for example, being taken away from their family because their biological parent dies or is otherwise incapable of taking care of them, even down to minor difficulties like enrolling a kid in school or taking them to see a doctor without a "legal" guardian present because their second parent is not recognized. It affects whether a child can be put on their parent's health insurance, be the beneficiary of life insurance, and qualify for other benefits like scholarships. It can also create problems when partners separate?the non-biological parent, even though they may have raised their child from birth, is at risk of having no legal right to even see their child. And on the other side, they may not be legally required to provide financial child support, either. Both of those things can be horrible for adults, but simply cruel to inflict on children.

A lot of people deny legal protections to families with gay parents like that can or will stop those families from existing. All it does is create sometimes heartbreaking situations for vulnerable children, and forces thousands of families to live in fear, which is also not a great environment for raising a healthy child. As far as I know, children aren't harmed by homes without traditional gender roles, but they are definitely harmed by the threat of thinking they can be taken away from their parents, put in a foster home or with relatives they don't even know, or otherwise discriminated against by the legal system. If laws against gay parents adopting truly had the concerns of children in mind, then they wouldn't exist.