Where did you find your partner?

Post Reply New Topic

I've been searching for one now for what seems like an eternity... six years more precisely, have I been devoid of some clearly essential quality one needs. An eternity flicking through dating sites like most, I suppose, inevitably end up wasting their time on... rarely do I even get chats, most of the little there end very early on... recently I chatted with someone for some time but after rambling on about some recent stress I had he seemed to have stopped responding too... guess I can try changing the topic, but what can one do from another continent anyway?

By the way, so, I'm posting here regardless of the 'predators' that seem to have lurked that I noticed at least since last summer which mods are totally fine with, sure... but nevermind, there was a more ideal time... well, ebbs and flows.

And that 'coincidental flow'... or whichever it may be that connects, like electrons and neutrons... happened here of all places, not a dating site, but somehow... and how in the world there was a (mutual?) attraction, along with similar interests, I've no idea... well, I was certainly attracted, I'm not entirely sure how it could be the other way round, but physiology seemed to indicate something, a certain ecstatic smile... at least at the beginning. So, perhaps not faking? Or, perhaps, some other motive? Well, regardless, I was more satisfied in seven mere months than the remaining three hundred and fifty something... I was happy for a mere seven of those. Second biggest loss I had in my life, would have been top if one's own parents and an entire country didn't conspire to nearly destroy me just because I was a minor years earlier. And why am I writing this now? Hm, perhaps because I consider to have just went through my third biggest loss just last month... all very different reactions, though... I cried genuinely like never before when he left... but the first and third were a different nature, one that apparently both naturally needed alcohol as a sort of substitute for suicide if I ever went there... well, not last month. I'm not so weak that online social rejection would turn me suicidal... but parents and an entire country? Pretty bad a decade ago, but ironically I had only just a couple of years earlier become suicidal due to this existential void I had after finishing school and still having abusive parents, but after suddenly remembering how much I liked playing Kingdom Hearts and that genre generally I somehow convinced myself that I'd rather live in gaps in misery and have bursts of joy, than nothing at all...

But, truly nothing compares to a relationship... it wasn't ideal by any stretch... sure, the mind at some point makes it seem ideal... at least it did for me, clearly not for him as, as he said, he stopped feeling love and left... and as far as I know it wasn't even due to finding anyone else, or at least he never admitted it, so I couldn't feel jealousy or anything, not that it's useful... but I did for just a few days practically become a stalker (no bad intentions, my love was just so strong at one point I decided to just wait under a tree for what could be an indefinite period, boredom had no match against the feeling I still had, but of which he had none...) - until he really left no trace and over the years never does he pick up any phone calls (last one perhaps five years ago, same with last email). Now this relationship began like a roaring fire... after a few messages, ironically after getting over a misinterpretation of my procrastination (or was it simply missing them, or just not going on the site?) - the volume of our chats was incredible. Before then I had a few regular people I chatted with... over many years, and suddenly with this new person, in the span of maybe a couple of weeks the KBs reached about the same size as those I chatted with for years (the latter of which were simply acquaintances). But, then... the amber went out... the flame melted... snuffed out completely like the eventual heat death of our universe...

I even stopped writing my 'inspired' texts on notebooks (not like I write on this site, these are more ramblings than some sort of ideal inspirations) because, I thought... I finally live life instead of documenting it. And after I remained so depressed that I never really began writing again, except for snippets that are still rare... I was 'alive', but then I 'died' and so I remained 'dead'... of course, since then I've watched about 2000 episodes of anime, so not quite actually dead, but... hm, when he left we were actually watching Ergo Proxy, but he disappeared in the middle, so who knows if he ever finished it... we also once watched Synecdoche, New York and I remember him musing about the worthlessness of life, which indeed the film is about... and now it has another meaning to me too, since I first watched it when Seymour was still alive... not sure if generally narratives are watched according to one's point in life and mental state, as for the last month I've watched horror non-stop, some inevitably of higher quality than others, but unfortunately I didn't seem to record the dates of what I watched back when he left, and only started a year later when I decided to watch anime non-stop practically until now (if it took me that long to be able to 'concentrate' sufficiently (always a problem under stress), then I wonder how long it'll take me after last month, I've already spent three days unable to decide what the next one should even be, and I'm still avoiding any obviously complex ones, or even anything comedic since I'm still not really in the mood...)

I think, though, at this rate, statistically, how likely is it that I end up elderly and still have found no one? I practically won the lottery of relationships, but apparently 'spent' it (how, not sure, still debate what went wrong, he gave no direct answer either, must have been some multiple factors) in a mere seven months.

He imbued life upon me, but in the process life seemed to ebb from him...

My partner responded to my 'personals' ad on Craig's List. This is why I don't buy lottery tickets; I used up all of my good luck when we met. It must've been luck; my karma certainly isn't that good.

They removed that section now too, any similar sites have much fewer posts... so, practically only dating sites remain.

We met in a 12-Step recovery meeting. We’ve been together since May 2014 and made it official in August 2018. When I told her that I thought I might have Asperger’s, she agreed with me. I think she might be on the spectrum as well. We both have ADHD, and she also has PTSD, depression, and panic disorder.

I was in the habit of meeting my friend Ruben for lunch once a month at a local restaurant. One day he called me beforehand and asked if it was okay for him to bring a friend. I wasn't looking to meet anyone at the time because I was in the middle of a breakup with my former partner. Ruben wanted me to meet his friend because we were working together on an upcoming community event and his friend had a lot of experience with such things. When his friend Wes walked in to join us, I was quickly smitten. Luckily, Wes felt the same and we've been together since about 2 months after meeting. This coming July, we'll celebrate the 17th anniversary of our meeting. We got married in 2013.

OKCupid. She says I was her worst first date ever (because I didn't talk enough or seem interested enough apparently). But then I reached out to her again months later with a message she found cute which made her give me another try.

I also like ("like" being a relative term meaning that I actually dislike it but it's a better option for me than just meeting someone in the real world) speed dating because they match you up afterwards so you know for sure if someone is interested in you or not.

I'm sorry about your lost love Planetarium. That sucks.

Acebook.