Woke spaces versus my natural environments

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Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 815

05 Sep 2019, 11:49 am

So, this is a thing both online and offline.

I'm starting to feel pretty sure I'm a trans guy. If not then I'm a very macho tomboy. I'm also aspie and although my parents who raised me had middle class jobs, I grew up in a working class area. My natural group of mates (as in formed based on hobbies not based on politics although our politics is similar) come from Glasgow which has its own famously rough culture and I grew up around boys and now hang around men - not in a flirty way, my type is women and pretty boys but the pals I naturally form bonds with are working class guys.

Sometimes I go to woke spaces, retreats and things. Very accepting of people's genders etc. But also very middle class and young and southern.

I find myself actually acting less masculine in those spaces. My natural self likes banter and joking and sports and shouting across a crowded bar and talking casually about hot women or pretty boys. My main twitter account is full of that sort of spirit too. Hardly anyone gets offended and if they do then they're usually doing it on purpose because of who said it. Nobody wants to sit down and 'tell me how you feel'. It's still all left wing, in fact I'd say more left wing, but prepared to actually fight the far right (if not on the streets then at least in the tweets haha).

In 'woke' spaces - there's no room for that. It's soft and and seems to be highly/recently educated in humanities NTs or teenagers who know the latest slang and obsessing over microaggressions and as soon as anyone says anything that unsettles the status quo (Contrapoints this week, she's one of my favourite trans celebrities as she has a sense of humour and is capable of winning over the far right) they're 'blacklisted'.

What about the people who aren't 'woke'? The people who naturally express themselves bluntly? Who aren't educated on all the latest theories? It's like a little clique and very much a mean girls' club, even amongst those who call themselves 'trans guys'. A lot of these 'trans guys' - if they were cis they'd be absolute spice boys who would all be assumed to be gay. At least amongst my friends they would.

Trans guys, do you feel the need for that kind of macho, blunt, rough and tumble space? Or even get what I'm on about? Is there anywhere online like that?

I find myself better off/fitting in better in the spaces where trans stuff isn't talked about as long as I'm open about being butch and bi.

I do wonder if it's cos my offline woke spaces aren't local and are full of posh people from the south of England. Southern English people are stereotyped amongst people I know as being soft even when they're cis guys esp the ones who aren't from certain parts of London and the same is true of posh people.

Online difference for an eg of what I mean. Outrage of main twitter: someone cracked a joke about Scott Brown's sister dying of cancer - to his face, the made the person that said it 15 and looking to get a reaction. People kind of have moved on but there's a 'that's poor taste mate typical Hun but I said some scummy stuff at 15 too' going around how it's seen.

Outrage of 'woke' twitter: nobody has moved on from Natalie saying 'I find it awkward when people ask me my pronouns and I don't think they'd do this to a cis woman' (this is true) and I think she said it at the weekend or something?

I don't fit into that woke space. It's not my sort of world at all and I find it all a bit ridiculous. But it's unfortunate that in my real world, people don't accept trans people at all. I feel like I need an in between space.

TLDR is there anywhere that trans guys hang out which isn't super woke and annoying?