Nonbinary with a binary brain

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I have been struggling a lot with my sexuality and gender identity. I have really bad impostor syndrome, and it definitely bleeds through into this area of my life. It took years for me to tell my parents that I was gay, and they asked why I didn't tell them earlier, but it was because I had trouble settling into a label. I spent a long time saying I was a lesbian because it felt more concrete. At this point I feel like pansexual, demisexual and nobinary fit me best, but I often feel like I'm pretending to be these things. I don't enforce my they/them pronouns because it feels like a burden on other people and "what if I take it back later?" I also don't really feel like I fit in with the LGBT+ community, because I am quiet about my identity, and because I am "gray" in every way. Any advice/camaraderie is appreciated.

I'm straight, and I only know what people have told me, but it's my understanding that there's a movement (for lack of a better word) within the LGBT community to accept people who are questioning. "YMMV" as they say.

Some people just don' fit neatly into any set of pre-determined "boxes." Sexuality is independent of your gender.
If you are 23 I'd say you just need more time to figure it out.

I have felt very similar things. It took me a really long time to decide if I was "really" queer and it felt super important for me to be right and not have to take it back later. I like your "binary brain" concept. Even though I knew queerness was a spectrum, it felt to me like I either was or wasn't.

I wish I could tell my past self and you in a way we'd believe that in terms of sexual orientation and gender identity, we are what we feel we are, and that can change with time and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I wish I could tell you that anybody who would care if you "took back" your pronoun request isn't worth your time but I know sometimes things aren't that simple and sometimes you want to maintain relationships with people even thought they're not as supportive as they should be. Are there any sympathetic people you can ask to use your pronouns, even if you don't want to ask lots of people? This article is not exactly on point for you, but I really like some of the things it says about focusing on what brings you joy about gender: https://www.autostraddle.com/you-need-h ... rd-421783/

Sending good thoughts!

(Most recently my imposter syndrome and binary thinking has moved in to focus on my ASD diagnosis. Fun, fun.)

Sometimes it takes so much energy to argue about pronoun, its not worth it

Cost benefit analysis

Short of winning a civil lawsuit, you can't make someone use your pronouns

They will be homophobic if they want

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission 2012 gender identity, only applies to work, after 2012

I think there are many lgbtq people like you, especially ones who don't fit the stereotype about being loud about their identity. Since the loud ones are the ones you naturally notice more, that's why it seems all of us fit that stereotype. In reality, I think most are more stealthy.
Also, grey identities aren't taken seriously by everyone, but that doesn't mean the gatekeepers are right. I recommend searching for online communities of people with similar grey identities to yours, whether it be grey ace, grey aro, or something else.