Clues in very early life

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Some people who are LGBT+ point to certain events or thoughts very early in their lives that gave a good indication as to their own sexuality or gender identity. In some cases it's the parents or others who recall these events.

In my own personal case, when I was around 3, 4 or 5 years old, I recall there being a wedding on TV (between a male and female). It may have been a celebrity wedding, or possibly a wedding in a fictional programme. My dad was in the room, and I asked him "why don't you ever see two males or two females getting married?" (or something to that effect). His response was "they do"...which, legally speaking, was not right. This would have been around the late 1990s, before civil partnerships for same-sex couples had been introduced in the UK, let alone marriage.

Around the same time, I told my mum that I wanted a boyfriend. She replied "you mean a girlfriend". I don't think that I actually meant 'boyfriend' in the romantic sense; I would often hear her and others talk about me having a girlfriend in the future, and I took the term to mean 'a girl who is a friend', so perhaps it was the same with 'boyfriend' in my mind. Nonetheless, it's still somewhat telling.

I was 11 and fascinated with a female classmate’s long, thick hair. I didn’t really think anything of it until I finally came out as bi in my late 30s.

I had only one friend in grade school, and just assumed at the time that we would be together for life. My reality check came one day when we were walking through a neighborhood looking at the houses, and I said something about what kind of house we would live in together as adults. She told me we wouldn't be living together, but with our husbands. I was quite surprised, the thought had never even occurred to me.

Another clue was when my mother explained to me how babies get made, my only response was to solemnly inform her that I was "never going to do that".