Bad Poetry

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Somethin' In Her Eyes

Somethin’ in her eyes,
Making me long for home.
Somethin’ in her lies,
Must be an assault on my bones.
Somethin’ in her eyes,
Tearing a hole in my soul.
Somethin’ in her lies,
Must be the only life, I know.
Nothin’s in sight,
But a tender light, I know.

Regret

Oh how I regret
That I never met
The minimum standard
For recharging my PS3 controller
My regret is strong
For it was much too long
That I left it
Without charging it up
My undying regret
Is that I chose to neglect
My controller
Through such lack of use
My regret knows no bounds
Now that I have found
That it will never regain
its former glory
My regret bites my arse
For the charge is now sparse
And now it runs out
Every four hours of play

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Rhyming is soothing
But I refuse to adhere to prescribed frameworks to lull you to ease.

Oh, I'm so alone.
Alooooooooone!
And no body loves me.

I can't believe you ate my plums
when you knew I was saving them.
You always do things like this,
so I'm leaving you.

In the midnight hour
She cried less, less, less
For I deadheaded all her cress
Which caused much duress
And a delayed headache.

Worthless whelk of worthlessness!
She stabbed me through my mandible
With her isosceles triangle of doubt
The confict caused
Tentacles Tentacles Ten tacles
...............Ten Ten Tacles
To appear
In the fridge.

I opened the fridge door
And the ten ta ten ta ta ta cles
Stabbed me through my mandible
Double ouchie.

Part ducks

I had to go to hospital.
Outside the hospital was a nurse.
She was sixty foot tall.
She kicked me in the mandible
Treble ouchie.

Then the orderlies brought me in.
They strapped me to a pipe organ
Which sounded more like a wurlitzer
And a giant pretzel appeared before me.
This giant pretzel said, what's that over there?
I turned to look, and
It did indeed
Crunch me in the mandible.
Quad damage ouchie.

Some of these aren't bad at all

I wandered lonely as a cheese
over airport lounge and mall
my hayfever made me sneeze
at flowers painted on the wall.

tsk tsk, those are all well amazing innit.

THIS is how you do truly terrible poetry:

I wandered lonely
with hiccups and baloney
through the marshes
of your lady parts

Ahoy! I said
Sailor aboard
I wandered through your ford
Unchecked

Boner, Boner, oh why thou embarrass me thus!
I said
Your beautiful lips
And my head full of nits
Caused much stimulation
I tell no lie

So I sit here,
lonely and forlorn
you left me for another sailor
who had a bigger boat

The End

Roight! With such skillability on display from poets far and wide...It's time to up the ante, and really go for bad broke...

The malevolant hexapus stood on the deck
Nay, more likely he did slither
His ten ta ten ta ten ta cles
Were fine and did not quiver.

As captain of the ship, there was
None amongst him equal
The reason, well: I will explain
If you wait until the sequel.

His subordinates were below the deck
Jacking off to lewd squid porn
The inky mess they left on the floor
Served many a scrubber to mourn.

Captain Hex whipped out his watch
Lined with gold and silver
It said ten ten ta ten to ten
"Time for bacon and liver!"

But. As he turned around on his suckers
That were as wide as cannonballs
The Worthless Whelk of Worthlessness
Stabbed him through the mandible!

And it got worse - a sixty foot nurse
Appeared astride the deck
She gyrated in such a disgusting way
Any dignified onlooker would immediately lose respect

Our intrepid Hex whipped out a musket
And snapped off a round, in a smoky cloud
It wandered lonely, and rather boldly
Destroyed the entire known universe.




FIN.

^^^ can't wait for the movie adaptation


My name is Demeter
I sit in a tree
Above a bird feeder
And dream of the sea

Knock-knock!
Who's there?
A BAD POEM!! !

Torn Ado

There was a Torn Ado in the skye
But I saw a kewl rock
So I run out side anyway
And it was rly windy
Like
Ohmigod
And thats what I was trying to text my BFF
When I dyed


Thank you.