I, Violet

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I am the girl who sits in the back

I am the girl who is afraid of cutting any slack

Can't even speak up

Can't even talk

Through the empty hallways

I forever walk

When I read of follow directions,

I thought I know everything

When I am around people

I know nothing

I couldn't even ask

I was afraid to tell

My mind was even

Closed like a shell

I am the girl who afraid to speak

I am the girl in a isolated cup

I am that girl

I am a violet

I like the imagery of a girl being a violet - the fragile closed petals, the silence of a plant... I notice some of your lines rhyme and some don't... it can be hard to come up with good rhymes! I write poems myself, and I often use a rhyming dictionary to come up with interesting end rhymes. Have you tried that? If you want to learn how to use one (and they are tricky creatures at first), Pattison Pat has some great books on rhyming, like his "Songwriting: Essential Guide to Rhyming: A Step-by-Step Guide to Better Rhyming and Lyrics."

There's heart to this piece which, I think, makes it so appealing - an earnestness, no matter how subdued your voice may be. Despite the simplistic lines, you've settled on a good metaphor and are well on your way to exploiting it (such a negative word!) artfully.

That having been said, there is always room for improvement. Here I'm going to disagree with ellyabean and suggest that you don't try a rhyming dictionary for a while. Free-hand it, see if you can establish a natural cadence without the usage of rhymes; think of it less as poetry and more as music, going by conventional definitions. It will allow you to employ words you otherwise wouldn't be able to put into the piece.

And, more importantly, emphasize that connection between shy isolation and the violet flower. The final line, "I am a violet", comes as something of a curveball - and not a particularly good one, as you've never alluded to the plant anywhere else in the poem. Instead, focus on the flower's details that are relevant and unusual: the fragility of the petals, the smallness of its blossoms, how easily they are ignored and crushed under a careless hiker's boot. It may be helpful to find an actual violet and watch it for a while. Once you have something that you feel is promising, see how it connects to the image of a girl who feels lost and alone, and cherry-pick your words accordingly.

A violet is like a shy and quiet person.

Ah, so I did misinterpret the source material, just a bit. Still, the idiom which you refer to - "shrinking violet" - is inspired by the flower, no?

I suppose my primary criticism is that this piece feels a little uninspired, chiefly because it lacks some kind of focus. The question is what you can bring to the table which breaks this trend of introverted angst, makes your readers take a step back and think, Oh! After all, how many people have bemoaned their invisibility on paper? This piece reads much like the same, and by extension, lacks a deeply personal touch. There are a lot of wallflowers in the world who often sit in the back, barely utter a word, and feel lost amidst throngs of people. What about this speaks you?

What you can try, I think, is to ground yourself in one instance - a certain event that happened to you, a perspective only you have, your deeply personal definition of "violet" - and expand from there. My and ellyabean's interpretation of this piece as a flower is one way to do this, of course, but it isn't the only way.