People Who Want To Kill Bella & How They Would Do It

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Anarbaculardrop
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08 Nov 2012, 7:25 pm

This is exactly what it says:Listing fictional characters who want to kill Bella Swan from Twilight, and how they would bring about her demise.

First off:Captain Ahab.

Our brave(if slightly deranged and old) hero grabs his new harpoon which has been heated bright red and has a grip to place the hand.He takes aim at the couple, who are too busy talking to each other in highly garbled dialect. As they are about to kiss, Edward feels a hot pain raging through his back and breast, like a fiery dagger. It then thrust through Bella's heart and back. Ahab then grabs the oil lamp, and tosses it on the foul being's corpse. Then he mutters a curse under his breath before taking the harpoon and running back home, in fear of the police. They did not know he spared the world from the worst vampire novels. EVER.

Who's next?


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08 Nov 2012, 8:40 pm

No need to bring other universes to that one :P

After the Volturi threat has been dealt with, life goes mostly like normal for the Cullens. Decades have passed, and they feel as safe and as happy as ever. Renesmee has gone with Jacob to live with the Amazon vampires and human-hybrids, and the Cullens have moved out of Forks, and then back again. Decades are nothing for the Volturi though, Aro has still not forgotten his ignominious defeat at the hands of that golden-eyed clan, and has prepared a plan, simple yet letal. He has raised his very own vampire hybrids, three of them, and trained them just for this moment. Sons of Aro, Demetri and Alec, they have inherited their powers. First they go for Alice. With her future-seeing capabilities, she's by far the biggest threat. She's the reason of their existance; knowing that Alice can't see the future around hybrids, she'll be powerless against them. They patiently observe, until they see their opening, and put their plan into motion.

The first ones shall be Alice and Bella. Alice has felt the disturbances around her, the black spots she can't see through, but with the amount of werewolves always around she's gotten used to it, so she doesn't suspect a thing. Bella's proficiency with her shield has reached the point where she can keep it always around the house with minimal effort; but her shield can't save them now. As Alice leaves the house briefly, Daniel gives a quick look to Alan, Alec's son, and they spring into action. Alice can't see her future, for reasons already mentioned. Alice can't sense them coming, because just as Alec's power causes sense deprivation, Alan's one doesn't allow anybody to feel where they are. Demetri's power allows him to track anyone through their minds; Daniel's ones protects them from being tracked by supernatural abilities, like that pesky mind-reading. Together, they are virtually invisible, and lethal. Everything goes black for Alice before she has a chance to react. Bella feels her disappear and raises the alarm; Edward quickly uses his mind reading, but he can't find her either. He tries to reach out to the werewolves, see where they are, but as soon as he reaches the mind of one of them, something makes him quickly pull away. Something is going horribly wrong with them, but he'll never know what. Daniel and Alan make short work of Jasper, who has desperately gone outside looking for Alice, without regard to strategy or personal safety. The rest of the Cullens huddle together, and stay inside the house. They are fearful, fearful of the unknown. Edward has just felt the last moments of his family members, he knows they're dead, but doesn't know what did it. Daniel and Alan realize that they can't take so many of them at the same time, and scuttle away.

Miles away, Aro's son, Amon, is single-handedly taking care of the werewolves. He has the power to project his very own memories into the mind of his enemies. Jane has had extensive sessions with him, sessions he will never forget, which now works for his advantage. He recalls a particularly harsh one vividly, and projects it into every member of the pack.While it's not quite as strong as the original, because of their mind link, the potency becomes multiplied by the number of wolves in the pack; they fall down almost instantly, howling in pain, completely incapacitated. Amon ruthlessly takes care of each one of them, while the progressively fewer survivors don't know if they should feel awful because one of their family has died, or relieved because that makes the pain be just a bit more bearable.

:lol: sorry, I couldn't actually kill them all off at the first go, short of inserting a way too blatant Deus Ex Machina to make our "heroes" succeed, I was thinking of a nuclear device but it was too inelegant and brought some inconsistencies. But with the werewolves and Alice out of the way, the whole Volturi guard can reach the U.S.A the next day, there will be no Alice to warn them, and the three guys can physically follow the Cullens while being undetected themselves, Amon can remotely transmit their locations, and in the end the Cullens will be rushed by the Volturis and be defeated by numbers. Once Bella is taken out, the others stand no chance. And yes, I've read all the books :lol:

Interesting exercise~


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Last edited by Shatbat on 09 Nov 2012, 11:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

DemonAbyss10
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08 Nov 2012, 9:32 pm

Buffy and the gang (buffy the vampire slayer/angel)

The gang has come across info that Bella is an eldritch abomination of some sort. She gets destroyed by the usual means that every seasonal/episodic villain gets defeated by. Research, strategize and destroy.


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Anarbaculardrop
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08 Nov 2012, 9:40 pm

Interesting, but I will try to make a more embarrassing down fall for Edward, like what's coming next...

R'zak Tal, fairy criminal and high end mercenary, swept his long green hair from his scarred face. His height was six feet, the body, bound in muscles. The eyes glow pink, the green dove wings retracted. His sunglasses, reflective, and his suit, pin-striped. The tie a nice green, and the suit black. He calmly pulls out the moltov, to start a battle of fire.
R'zak Tal tosses the incendiary into the dry brush near the house of the enemy Cullen, burning through wood, dead, and dry vegetation. Then our hero leaves the foul land to a handy roof top postion, and loads an incendiary round, and aims at the head of the monster known as Edward.
It burns through skin, burns through muscle, and stops his ugly heart. A women comes by, his abhorrent lover, and to die is her today, as another bullet comes, like a bloody statement today.
R'zak Tal then smokes a cig and laughs at the dead bodies of a bastard and b***h. His demon friend, Jack Seth, comes around and they then go to a bar to have a drink and talk about life.

What do you think of that?


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09 Nov 2012, 10:33 am

Cthulhu devours them and their entire universe. Good riddance.


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09 Nov 2012, 12:29 pm

Anarbaculardrop wrote:
This is exactly what it says:Listing fictional characters who want to kill Bella Swan from Twilight, and how they would bring about her demise.

First off:Captain Ahab.

Our brave(if slightly deranged and old) hero grabs his new harpoon which has been heated bright red and has a grip to place the hand.He takes aim at the couple, who are too busy talking to each other in highly garbled dialect. As they are about to kiss, Edward feels a hot pain raging through his back and breast, like a fiery dagger. It then thrust through Bella's heart and back. Ahab then grabs the oil lamp, and tosses it on the foul being's corpse. Then he mutters a curse under his breath before taking the harpoon and running back home, in fear of the police. They did not know he spared the world from the worst vampire novels. EVER.

Who's next?


Damn, you took mine. :(


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09 Nov 2012, 7:13 pm

I'd have Captain Jack Harkness pick up Edward and Jacob during Book 1. "Hi Boys, Do You want to time travel? And there is candy in my pocket!" While the boys learn the mysteries of the universe and of hot gay sex, Bella starves herself in despair. If you really want to see Renesmee to exist (after all she can't help who her mother was) the whole thing can happen more or less in book 4 as well. I haven't read the novels and haven't gotten around to the Rifftrax of the movies but Captain Jack with a vampire, werewolf (and possibly dhampir) companion is certainly not that kinky by Captain Jack standards.



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09 Nov 2012, 9:45 pm

Ghost Eridan

So, our man kicks down the door of Bella's house and then blasts his way through, killing the entire Swan family with a white science powered wand. Then he turns around to see Edward in shock. Then Eridan shoots him, with a smug glare, saying,"flithy land dwellers! Die!" and then steps over his corpse. Eridan next blasts down the door to the Cullen's place, before spamming his weapon into the family's ranks. Our troll prince leaves the place after all are dead.

What do you think of that?


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10 Nov 2012, 12:48 am

Not Bella, but Edward. And Alucard doing the deed. Because it's already been done (warning: extreme violence, sexual references, and funny!):

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnIjJexut4[/youtube]

(The bit I'm referring to starts at around 20 seconds in...)

TL;DR version:

Quote:
Inside a house, filled with bodies, 'Edward' and 'Bella' are embracing.

Bella Swan: Oh, yes. I love you, Edward.

Edward Cullen: And I...love you...Bella.

(There's a knock at the door)

Edward: Hold on. (goes to the door) Who is it?

Alucard: Oh, you know. (Mulches Edward with a ridiculous amount of shots from a Big Effing Handgun) A real f***ing vampire!! !


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Anarbaculardrop
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10 Nov 2012, 11:03 am

Still, what do you think of mine so far?


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10 Nov 2012, 1:10 pm

God commits his first personal smitting in 2000 years.


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10 Nov 2012, 1:38 pm

Force her to watch every episode of the Twilight franchise until her head explodes.



Arcanyn
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11 Nov 2012, 5:44 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djZFHTa6TfA[/youtube]



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11 Nov 2012, 10:57 pm

Sober Gamzee+ Tricky

As Bella and Edward are sleeping in their new house, hideous, malevolent honking noises fill the room. Edward wakes up and sees two humaniod figures. One has long narrow orange horns, orange eyes, a smile, and three grey scars, as well as black and white clown makeup. The other has an iron mask, but the red hair comes in the cones iconic on clowns. The scarred, horned one carries a torch, and the other carries a stop sign and submachine gun. Edward tries to move, but gets hit by the stop sign(which wounds him) and then gets lit on fire by the torch. His screams fill the air. Then the iron masked one fills Bella full of lead. Edward leaps out the window. He lands safely in water, and then hears a honk. He looks into the face of the horned being, who is carrying a can of gasoline and the torch. Then Gamzee says,"goodnight, motherf**ker. HONK."
Gamzee finishes by poring the oil over the body, lighting it on fire with his torch, and writing on Cullen's face with wet mud his iconic chat clown face, ": o )."

By the way, here's the two.

Sober Gamzee:
Image

Tricky:
Image

I can't have any examples of why I chose Tricky from Madness Combat, since they are ridiculously brutal. Watch the series, if you really want to know.

Here's something Sober Gamzee did to a guy who could punch the heads off giant monsters with bare hands:
Image
Now do you see why I chose these two?


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13 Nov 2012, 1:58 pm

Blade (AKA the Wesley Snipes version, with a little fan-created characters from my own mind).

With his grizzled old mentor Whistler monitoring his location from his secret hideout, Blade and the Nightstalkers pay a visit to the Cullens house at night. Blade promptly kicks down the door, annihilating the entire Cullen family with a hail of silver-tipped bullets from his UZI pistol that reduce the family to ashes before they even have a chance to escape. Oblivious to the noise downstairs, Edward spots our leather-clad, body armour sporting hunter ascending the stairs and hastily bids a retreat with Bella by jumping out of a nearby window. Blade smirks and watches them flee.

"That's right, suckheads, keep running." He chuckles to himself, giving chase by leaping out of the window and landing in the woods. He manages to catch up to the prettyboy and his moody bride to be, dispatching Edward with several vials of the anti-coagulant formula known as EDTA, which causes Edward's head to swell up to grotesque proportions as he explodes in a shower of brains and blood. Bella's heart is then pierced by an arrow fired from the bow of Abigail Whistler, who had been perched in the trees all along.

To add insult to injury, new Hannibal King strolls up to the dying Bella and blasts her at point-blank rage in the head. "And just like that, these sparkly piece of s**t sissies are no more." He jokes, which draws a blank look of disinterest from Blade.


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Anarbaculardrop
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13 Nov 2012, 3:21 pm

Hank J. Wimpleton and Sanford, from Madness Combat

Hank bashes the Swan's house front door with his ridiculously huge, red, muscular arm, with a MG203 in the other hand, and shoots it into the first room, blowing the s**t out of it. Sanford enters, armed with an Enfield L22, taking out everyone on the first floor. As Bella descends down to see what the hell is going on, she is hit in the chest by Sanford's hook and slung into Edward, who had just walked in. He then starts to makes a long speech about his girlfriend, when Hank shoots him with the MG203(he had reloaded it) after throwing a moltov cocktail he had quickly made at the stupid "vampire." BOOM!! !
Sanford then makes some more Moltov's, since they were doing the best possible thing for the world:burning this hive of soppy romance and stupid people.

The two then go out and have lunch.

Here's the two, by the way:
Image
Hank
Image
Sanford


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