The Wrong Planet Limerick Thread!

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I REALLYREALLY like that one a lot.

Thanks Reika, your comments about DMV's in Alaska and California made me think of it!

I wish I could make a living at writing... I'm too scared and unsure to try though!

But I have fun doing it here!


My writing hangs on many a wall!
Lovingly scribed, but never a scrawl!
I've just one regret,
for a better place yet,
than to hang on a bathroom stall wall!

Twenty days to find this thread,
Really, I should hit my head.
I'll leap in boldly, just the same,
And post these lines - Oh! I am lame!

I seem to have quite missed the point
My poesy is out of joint.
A limerick is what's required.
I take it, therefore, I'm not hired?

HEHE, once your IN... you can never get OUT!

Just keep 'em coming Lau...

Though sometimes thought to be insane,
with interests verged on the arcane,
The words he does use,
don't quite make him a muse,
But we like good 'ole Lau just the same!

Whenever Lau writes, I read every word
Hoping I too can understand "Computer Nerd"
Its way over my head, I suspect
As I'm "Computer Inept"
I ask lots of dumb questions, be assured.

Not that your a "Nerd" by any means Lau, I think of you as a computer genius, it was just all I could find that would rhyme.

The Thanksgiving dinner I wanted to fly
Because I wanted to cry
It was so bad
Because I was the only lad
Everyone there said I was a cad!

In making a rhyme about Reika,
I'll strain it, employing Alaska.
I'll reach the last line
With my scansion quite fine,
But stumble and fall over at the very last bit.

At posting Lau couldn't be fleeter!
Typing limerick he would not deter!
As the words did roll on,
he sensed something wrong!
"I seem to have detoured my metre!"

In beauty, I am not a star
my face is not perfect by far
but then I don't mind it
for I am behind it
the fellow in front gets the jar!


burma shave

Have you heard of the lady named Annie
Who had the sexiest fanny?
From the front, it would seem
She was nobody’s dream
But the view from the rear was uncanny.

A gull with an unerring aim
Liked to play a disturbing game.
He would swoop with a cry
At some unlucky guy
And spot him to increase his fame.

A cleaner of streets named Bobby
Had the funniest hobby.
He’d gather old junk
Into a large trunk
And ship it to Abu Dhabi

A feller with a very huge smeller
Was a fan of Uri Geller
He could wiggle his nose
‘Til it bent to his toes
And descended into his cellar.

A dog with a very large bladder
Could pee in a color: rose madder.
He would mark every post
With a color that most
Would enjoy, but some would find sadder

Some people enjoy eating bacon
On bread, but some with cake on.
And a large slice of cheese
On top, if you please,
Tastes great if I’m not mistakon.

SAND! Glad you're back! Haven't seen you in a while.

Making up for lost time eh? Lots of good ones there!


there once was a very bold flyer
who pushed his new aeroplane higher
but an electric plane it seems
fell short of his dreams
when he reached the end of his wire!

I spend too much time on wrongplanet
So addictive I think they should ban it
Oh, I'll just write one rhyme
It won't take much time
Hey, you got work tomorrow god damn it.

A commuter who worked his computer
Saw a girl endearingly cuter.
He sent off an E-mail
To this sexy female
But it seems he just didn’t suit her.

Some snakes have a bite that’s scary
To inspire a victim to hail Mary.
But it’s often quit clear
That there’s no need to fear
If your skin is quite thick and hairy.

Some blonds have eyes that are blue
And a visage that’s sure to imbue
The average guy
Who’s normally shy
To murmur “How do you do?”

A rat with a taste for roast beef
Was inspired to become a thief.
He trained to know how
To steal a whole cow
But was too weak and came to quick grief.

The moon, for some, can inspire
To write poetry full of desire.
But a limerick style
Is bereft of guile.
A sonnet is more full of fire.

Some children are terribly loud,
Troublesome, not to be cowed.
A spanking or two
Simply won’t do
The cops say it's just not allowed.

An elephant off on a trip
Decided to ride on a ship.
He packed up his trunk
With strawberry gunk
With terrible problems of drip.

Last edited by Sand on 26 Nov 2007, 1:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

He once was a man from Minnesota
His voice carried clear to Dakota
he protested the man
I became a big fan
And now I return to the coda. (OOOOHHHH! How Does it FEEL . . .??)

Have you heard of that ingenious wizard
Who magicked with old chicken gizzard?
With a bang and a flame
It’s just a shame
It transformed him into a lizard.

The current President Bush
Who keeps his head up his tush.
His view deep inside
Makes us decide
He should disappear with a whoosh!

The world’s getting terribly warm.
A condition that’s surely to harm
All life on the planet
And I wonder can it
Raise up sufficient alarm.

One look at the US elections
With candidates out for selections
Leaves the Republican side
With much to deride
And Democrats no clear directions.

The dinosaurs, all gone away
Transformed to birds - all OK.
I’d prefer a seagull,
A robin or eagle
To a lizard with me for its prey.

My standard of writing is dropping -
Just none of those light bulbs are popping.
I'll leave it at this,
Although you might hiss,
And say that I really am stopping.