Can you sing?

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I put 'sort of' - people keep saying I can, but I don't believe it since with my training I can tell when I'm off

I can carry a tune. I have perfect pitch, which helps.
There's a lot more to singing than just getting the right notes at the right time, though.

Yup.

I just completed my fifth year singing in a local choir.

I have a strange problem with this. People hear me sing by myself and like it and even say I have a "beautiful voice". I have tried to join my church choir at 2 churches. I have been rejected by the choir directors because I "cannot follow the music". Also they have been VERY NASTY about it. One called me and just repeated like a recording "It is best you not be in the choir". I can't figure out what happened that would rate such abuse even if I screwed up. My sister always encouraged me to sing and now she thinks that being "on the spectrum" may have something to do with not following the music and that I should just totally give up. Anyone here have that happen? I know when I do something wrong, just that I need maybe 2-3 tries to figure it out.

Oh,oh did I come up with a problem that people here cannot handle?

Well, here's my thought. Have you ever considered that maybe you just don't have a "choir voice?" I know I don't. Some voices are just too "edgy" for that kind of music. I can sing pop, rock and metal. I wouldn't fit into a choir. It wouldn't blend well with other voices that fit the style. That is to say, choir music really has no style. I don't mean that in an insulting way, but it is what it is. So maybe you do have a beautiful voice, but perhaps such a voice simply won't fit in with a choir. Maybe try something else? Also, I'm confused when you say "follow the music." What exactly did you mean by that?

Yes. I don't do it very often these days, though. I really should...

If they do, then can answer yes twice!

I'm better at higher pitched screams though

Actually, I think this church and this choir may be a lost cause. I think I am going to do piano now. Anyway here is what happened, may have something to do with aspergers too.

I was in our church choir for about 8 years when my work schedule changed and I could not make it. Later on, one of the people I was with I met in the supermarket and he asked me to come back but told me they had a new director, Amanda, a young woman. Since I though that was a compliment I called her, came to a rehearsal, did a demonstration of the "Another World" theme and she seemed to like it. I was there for about a month.

One day the phone rang and it was Amanda. She did not even say hi, she kept saying like a recording "It is best you not be in the choir, It is best you not be in the choir, It is best you not be in the choir". I could not figure out what happened. Was this a joke? Anyway, I did try to call her later but she never answered her voice mail.

I did call the priest, fr Tom about this because I thought it was so strange to recieve a call like that from a church and he told me I was "throwing people off" because I did not follow the music and somebody complained and she is protecting who complained. Nothing can be done about it because I did not have a "gift". He also made the mean remark that anyone who stutters could not be a reader. I do have a stuttering problem and that was mean because again I lacked a "gift".

Next week, Amanda sends me a super nasty email that tells me I am not to talk to other people in the choir or anyone in the church and that "she is tired of the drama in the parish and it has to end NOW!" I tried to ask some people on facebook what happened and none responded. I though only the Amish did shunning.

Now, something more recent happened. My sister helped get me diagnosed and she said she was going to call Amanda and make her apologise becuase I was "on the spectrum" and did not deserve to be banned from church at all and maybe that caused the difficulty? She called Amanda who denied the nasty notes (how can she I have a copy) and said "Oh, no" and it was all musical and I did not do anything offensive (I feared I might have). Amanda conned her and now my sister thinks I cannot sing at all and should never ever try.

My question is, could Amanda be an aspie, because of the overreaction? She was really mad a me. And all this hurts, yet Fr. Tom ,her boss did nothing about it. I also don't know what happens when I run into one of these people in the supermarket.

Is a lack of "match pitch" really that bad? I might need 2-3 tried to learn the music but is that unacceptable? I'm prepared for bad answer.

This sounds more like intentionally screwing you to me. That's just not fair.

Then yes yes.

I agree. Not cool.

Its not fair. I just hope that this is some kind of an aberration and that really I am not that bad. Thats one reason why I asked if I might be dealing with somebody with aspergers herself (Amanda). Unfortunately, Amanda told my sister I cannot sing, should not try, don't have the "gift" and other people can't sing with me. So now I know I did not do anything horrible that would rate a shunning, I guess the lack of ability is enough to shun me. Other people who have heard me say that usually would not rate a rejection like that. My sister wanted Amanda to apologize by telling her I was on the spectrum but no apology, just a con job and my sister believes it. Better not tell her much next time.

I'm a bass in choir. I can sing, provided it's mostly below middle C.

And as for the drama I sense in the preceding comments, I'm here to tell you that ANYONE can sing. You just have to find out how. There are a lot of vocal trainers out there who would be more than happy to analyze your vocal quality, timbre, and range to try to help you out. You'll sound ridiculous at first, but that's perfectly normal. It's a lot like lifting weights, but for your vocal cords.

And after reading into it, I would say, leave that damn church. If you are devoted to religion, find another one. There's no reason to continue "fellowship" with people who clearly don't want it.

And also, I never took any vocal lessons, I just did school choir for my last year in high school. It was fun. We sang Eric WHITACRE!! !! My life is complete...tee hee!