A short story of mine; Criticism wanted

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Thagomizer
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27 Sep 2005, 2:13 pm

Yeah, I have that problem a lot too. I always underestimate the length of the stories I write, and this became a problem in my fiction writing classes. The minimum length for a short story was supposed to be around 10 double-spaced pages, and while there was no maximum, we didn't really want to read 50+ page stories very often. I inevitably wrote the longest stories in each class. My shortest story was a mere 25 pages. In every case, the stories were longer than I thought they'd be. If they were any shorter, they felt incomplete. When I did manage to butcher a story down to 10 pages, I was actually yelled at by the professor and it was not workshopped.


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thatrsdude
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28 Sep 2005, 7:31 am

You said in the topic title that you want criticism so I'll say this:
Your story is terrible in every way even though I haven't even bothered to read it. :wink:


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Serissa
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10 Nov 2005, 9:16 am

I am rereading this to see what is Bridgeable, and noticed a couple things....

"Roberta went back and looked on the kitchen counter, the coffee table in the
living room, the shelf by the T.V., Will’s desk, her own bags . . . but the keys were
nowhere to be found. But the cat meowed."

I think the repitiion of "but" should be remedied.

"“What the f**k do you . . . oh,” Roberta said as she saw the open bag of cat
food next to the bowl in the kitchen, “looks like I forgot to feed you, kitty.”

I laughed out loud.

In public.

OK, so, I was quiet about it, but still...

""See? That’s God."
"What, the hamster?"

another exchange I found very funny.

That's all I have to say about that- well, here, anyway. ((I figured by posting this here instead of an email it would bhump this up a bit too. quite correctly may I add.))