Arian wrote:
I tend to be very critical of my own work.
I find being very critical of my work is what helps me make so many improvements. I would have never removed some of the things I like in a story if I hadn't taken a stepped back to realize that it simply did not belong there.
And honestly, I find dialog to be one of the easier parts of my writing. When I write about something it just seems to flow out much faster and easier than when I do it in just a narrative. Here's a little sample from the book I am trying to publish. It's the first in a five part series.
Quote:
“Did you need something from me, sir?” he asked after a minute. “Is there something wrong?”
The chair turned on its joist, letting off a tiny squeak as it moved. Kezeck leaned forward and the dark features of his face came into the light. Many wrinkles dotted the surface, making deep chasms in his dark brown skin—they made his gaunt face look as if it had been squished around his eyes and mouth. His mouth seemed to sag under his nose, as if he was just struggling to keep his jaw up. A short sea of gray hair sat atop his head, showing no hints of its previous black gleam. His muscles looked no smaller than on the day twenty-two years ago, but it almost seemed as if they were working extra hard to keep the man sitting upright. Large bags of wrinkled skin hung under his eyes, giving the impression that he hadn’t slept for weeks. His eyes were half-open, but Skylar could still see the tired old man underneath. The light of the lamp cast deep shadows across his face, making his early fifty body look at least one hundred. The nametag on his jacket had been updated: General Omega Kezeck.
General Kezeck leaned forward and placed a small square of paper on the desk next to the glowing electronic notebook. Skylar’s eyes followed it, but Kezeck seemed to forget about it at once. His face showed no hints of a smile. Something was wrong.
“Am I in trouble, sir?” asked Skylar. Kezeck didn’t answer. He stared at Skylar with his deep eyes for what felt like hours and neither body moved. Then, quite suddenly, a small smile spread across the general’s face. The man began to laugh, and soon enough the other man joined in. It seemed to warm and revitalize Skylar, but the colonel just couldn’t help from thinking that the smile made Kezeck’s face look much older and weary.
“When was the last time you’ve been in trouble?” said Kezeck as the laughter died. “You are one of my best men here, if not the best. You haven’t broken the rules in years. Well, that I know of, of course. You’re not hiding anything from me, are you Sheldon?”
Skylar laughed. “Of course not August,” he said. “It’s just, I remember the last time you let me into your office, or anyone for that matter. It usually never ends well.”
“Yes,” said Kezeck. His gaze shifted down. “That day so many years ago.”
The smile faltered on his face for a moment, and Skylar thought he saw a hint of worry creep into the man’s face. Kezeck shook his head and looked back up, the smile wide again.
“But that was years ago,” he said. “It’s history now. We haven’t yelled at each other in decades. Well, maybe a few times if you decided you could get away with stealing one of my kills on our hunting trips.”
“Hey, that shot was clearly mine,” said Skylar. “There’s no arguing about that.”
“Yea, yea,” said Kezeck, waving his hand. “You just wait till next week. I’ll mop the floor with you on marksmanship. I’ll be the one getting our best meals for the trip. Yours can stay in the freezer for leftovers after we get back.”
“We’ll see about that,” said Skylar. “The trip’s still planned for next week, right?”
Kezeck nodded. “Of course,” he said. “First weekend of the month, just like every month. I’ve got my gun all packed and ready for the hunt. Are you ready?”
“Of course,” said Skylar. He pointed to the winged pin on his jacket. “I’ve got my lucky charm right here and I’m ready to kick your ass.”
“You’re going to kick my ass with something I gave you?” asked Kezeck, laughing. “If the charm is that good, maybe I should take it back.”
“Oh hell no,” said Skylar. “This is my baby. You’re not taking it.”
“You remember when I gave that to you, right?” asked Kezeck. “It was a gift to me from the Air Squad when I was promoted to replace Hacksaw. It was the same day you and I became real friends. That thing is worth probably more than that entire town down there. I’m glad you never sold it.”
“I could never sell our friendship,” said Skylar with a smile. Kezeck smiled back. “So,” said Skylar, “if you didn’t call me up here for the hunting trip, what did you call me for, August, sir?”
Kezeck looked down, the smile fading away from his face at once. Skylar’s smile faded to as he saw the gaunt appearance return. He took a step forward.
“General,” he said, “is there anything wrong?”
Kezeck nodded. “Of course,” he said. “As you said, I only bring people up here when it’s bad, and I think it’s pretty bad. We’ve got ourselves a big problem.”
“What sort of problem, sir?” Skylar asked the weary general.
24 Jul 2011, 7:54 pm
