A dream that can turn into a story

Post Reply New Topic

I'm thinking about writing a story based off this dream I had a while back. I started one a year ago, but it ended up going no-where. It was about a girl named Sloane who dies in a car-crash and ends up in a strange after-life world. She meets a girl named Chava and a boy named Jasper. They learn about this strange after-life and through brief exposure of this "black world" (entry is strictly prohibited), suffer "symptoms" and (the rest I haven't gotten to yet) gain superpowers. The authorities want to prevent this because Sloane and Jasper would unravel a huge secret the authorities are so desperately trying to hide (I haven't figured out this secret yet, but I will, with a little help.) I was hoping to make this afterlife-world a little dystopian. I was hoping the most extreme punishment would be mind-control, leaving you somewhat catatonic.

Here is the dream I based it off of:


It was sort of an afterlife thing. The place resembled this town called Kernville. The part it resembled was near the Kern River. Only instead of the River, there was a streak of black with hands shooting up as if trying to grab someone. There was a bridge, like in the real Kernville, but in the sky near it, there was a black vortex.

The inhabitants warn us not to go near the vortex otherwise you are stuck in the black world and your only hope out is to stick your hand out of the black world in theirs (thus the black streak with hands shooting up). I saw EK in the dream, but she looked really different. In the dream, she was taller, with a bunch of pimples on her face. I also saw A.V. in the dream and we went on the huge blow up slide you see in carnivals.

Once (in the dream) I accidentally got too close to the black vortex and got sucked in. There were many people there, including J.M.. I stuck my hand out of the black place and I was pulled out by A.V. J.M. managed to get out somehow, because I saw him later. We both wondered how the black world affected us. There was a way to create a vortex (no, I'm not lying about anything in the dream), so J.M., I, and a couple of boys (I never saw them in real life, but in the dream I knew them) tried to test this.

To create the vortex, you had to spin this necklace (J.M. got it in the shop we were next to), which J.M. did. It was a smaller vortex than the one I fell into. J.M. said that one boy would dip part of himself into the vortex, and the other boy and I hold onto him to keep him in our world. As we were doing this, someone who seemed like an authoritive figure (she resembled my fifth grade teacher) asked us what we were doing. Apparently, creating vortexes and testing them were forbidden. I can't remember the rest though.

The secret is that the dark world is where WalMart gets everything made so cheaply. The vortex is consumerism, the people that get sucked in lose their souls due to material lust and the hell where they end up is a sweat shop run by the great Balrog of the Evil Empire himself, Samhain Walton.

This suggestion is a parody and in no way represents my real attitude towards WalMart, its employees or founder, without whom I would be starving right now. Viva la cheap!

I already started a small part of my story:


This morning I woke up dead. How I figured that out upon my waking moment, I have no idea. I’m not sure how one infers that they died upon waking up in a different room with bunks filled with people like a concentration camp, all bruised and smelly. People don’t fall asleep in one place and wake up somewhere else unless they were taken from the couch to the bed, kidnapped, or they were drunk people falling asleep in what they thought was their own bed but wake up to a strange environment and a painful hangover.

I looked around, trying to remember what had happened before I came here. I was on a field trip to a museum yesterday, or at least it seems like yesterday. The grade was split up into separate cars, three to five in each. I was with my close friend, Rose-Lyn, and a couple of other girls I generally didn’t get along with. I stared outside for most of the car ride, that I remember well. I struggled to recall the absolute last moment. A red car, I think it was red, came speeding towards us. I don’t remember the impact of the car or the pain I must have felt. I tried to shift my body so I could lie on my stomach, but I could only turn to my right 90 degrees. To my astonishment, I saw Rose-Lyn sleeping beside me.

“Rose-Lyn,” I whispered, “Rose-Lyn!”

She woke up, bruised and disoriented. She looked around, stunned the way I was and whispered my name “Sloane”. We both sensed we were both dead, yet we didn’t feel anything, not yet anyway. We were too confused. I tried to wiggle, but I barely could. Eventually, I was able to move forward slightly and get my arms out from my sides. I pushed myself out of the bunk, leaving myself to plummet some five floors before finding myself submerged in some strange, thick substance.

As I sunk deeper, I found the image of compact, over-cramped bunks becoming murkier and disappearing and started detecting light coming from behind me. Strangely enough, I suddenly saw myself surrounded by numerous kids my age in white, matching the blinding walls and ceiling. Wait a minute, ceiling? I looked up and saw the ceiling ripple like water, smoothening out over time.

Someone grabbed my arm and led me to a desk. I didn’t get a good look at the person’s face. Rose-Lyn’s voice penetrated through the noise, albeit it seemed like only a whisper. Nevertheless, I was able to tell she was shouting.

“Rose-Lyn!” I shouted back, searching for her.

Suddenly, the girl shoved me into a chair and left me to a black haired boy with a clipboard.


That's all I have. Maybe the girl (Sloane) will learn about this afterlife and it will seem dystopian. She figures out that those who commit serious crimes have the choice of being "brainwashed" (they become robots) or they become "figments" (they no longer exist. This will be the equivalent of the death penalty in this afterlife world). She rebels against this and maybe she discovers a way to reincarnate herself (highly against the law) and she died once before which is why she recognized the feeling in the beginning of the story. Hmmm..... Any tips?