Anyone else attempting to write their memoirs? Advice needed

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So I've been trying to write my memoirs for about 5 years now. Honestly, I haven't even written the first chapter, Partially because pinning down just one main idea to write an entire 200+ page book has been terribly difficult for me, hell writing this post and making it make sense is difficult for me! Anyways, a little background and then I'll get to my questions.

I spent the first 10 years of my life being labeled difficult, inflexible, ADD/ADHD, oppositional defiant and learning disabled. I had severe, debilitating sensory problems and strange eating habits. I also refused to go to school, violently. This is how I wound up under the care of a psychologist. These diagnosis and observations later turned into Depression, Bipolar, Bulimic and finally in adulthood, the dreaded (at least in the psychiatric community) Borderline Personality. I've been to countless doctors and have been hospitilized in a psychiatric hospital close to 20 times, some of them for months at a time. I've been on every psychotropic medication known to man and had countless different kinds of therapy. Still, I suffered and none of these "treatments" ever helped me to improve much. I want to include ALL of this but it's alot, so there's another reason I'm having issues. It all seems important and vital.

As I've gotten older and out into the "adult world" and out of the tumultous stage that is adolescence, people in my life and even myself noticed that my personality was changing. If personality is the right word to describe what was changing, or rather becoming increasingly apparent that is, because I guess you don't just wake up one day and "develop" AS.

My childhood inflexibility got worse, I lost friends left and right or didn't attract trustworthy or authentic people and later on, had no desire for social interaction. I would become even more focused and obsessed about something that I found interesting, to the point where if I didn't learn everything I could I would become aggitated or despondant. All my romantic relationships have failed or been dysfunctional and then failed. life was becoming unbearable for not only me but those few devoted people who care about me. There's alot more that became apparent but its so much that it will be distracting for me to write it all, too many patterns and connections to get tied up in. Anyways.. you guys know how it is and get the picture.

So this "change" propelled me to look for an answer. So I went and talked to my mom and she that's when she told me I've always been this way, maybe I just didn't notice. We talked a long while and she gave me some books she read when I was a kid. These books were things like "The Difficult Child" and the "Explosive Child" and were written for parents with children who have "difficult temperments" or "explosive-inflexible disorder". (which isn't a DSM recongnized disorder btw) These books described me as a child to a T and it was scary.

But at the time, I still believed I was Borderline and had some unknown trauma that caused me to be the way I was. I skipped past the chapters on Autism and AS and looked for things that would solve the riddle of my "personality and mood disorder". I honestly didn't even really know what AS was at that point.

As funny (or not) as it is, the thing that propelled me to look up AS was an episode of South Park, where they build a whole episode around a disorder called "Assburgers". I knew they were making fun of a real disorder so I went and googled it. Now that was scary. It sounded just like the me I had always been and it explained things that ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, Bipolar, Borderline, Depression and Bulimia had failed to explain and caused me turmoil for so long.

So... now I know what my book is going to be about. Being a female who has lived her whole life with Asperger's Syndrome and not known it. I want to chronical my journey through the land of psychiatic treatment and special education and how not one single person, despite all the signs ever had me tested for AS and how that effected my life and well being and what it was like growing up thinking you're an incurable, unloveable, nutcase who is doomed to off themselves.

So here are my questions- Would it be wise to get formally diagnosed with AS before going further? I'm currently on disablity under the label of "personality and mood disorder" and only have Medicaid for insurance so getting reevaluated and re-diagnosed would have to come out of my own pocket, money I don't have. Or I can go back to Community Services Board, which maintains firmly that I am a lost cause Borderline and I'm pretty much doomed. I don't like this attitude and haven't been able to get anywhere with these people and I don't know who else to contact to get this officially taken care of. I've heard of going to the local chapter of The Autism Society and they will give you a referral, but again, that costs money and I've heard (don't know if it's true or not) that if you do or have suffered from a co-morbid personlity disorder, they will not see or deal with you.

Secondly, anyone have ideas on how to get all my ideas streamlined enough to put in a book? What things should I leave out, what should I include? How much time should I spend on each period of my life? Are there professionals that will help someone with writing a book and getting ideas into a cohesive structure?

I went to a creative writing class for two years. The theme was Autobiography and the Imagination. Since then I've understood much more how to write and be interesting.

I've written two novels since, and a wole load of short stories too, but neither of the novels have been published. The last one, which I am still working on is semi-autobiographical. It can help to be objective about your life so you can see it in terms of entertaining other people. It helps to know what makes a good story by examining other stories. Also you don't always need to stick to what has actually happened, the truth, because the real truth is that the story must be entertaining or no one will read it, you can make things up.

There are lots of good books out there on how to write, giving inspiration, and tasks to get you going. Classes are good too and you can be a beginner, like I was.

Hello!

Thank you tor the excellent advice. I, too, have an interesting story or two to tell, but for me, AS is only part of it. It's time for me to begin sharing some of it with the world.

It's hard to turn one idea into a 200+ page book. Perhaps a shorter book may be of more relevance. As to the original poster, from what I read, it seems like she already has a pretty good foundation to build on.

Have A Great Day!

Rob