Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

MeloJag
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 121

24 Nov 2011, 12:19 pm

Heres a short little poem of mine. You know that saying, something like "Shoot for the moon, if you miss your still amongst the stars." Well this was inspired by that saying and by my love of staring at the star speckled night sky. I call it

"Ambitious Little Star"

As the stars flicker against the deep cavernous canvas
Its rays of bright white touch my soul, spirit, and hopes
I bellow a hello, make room for one more
For only amongst the stars I keep score


I wanted to make it longer, but I dont write poems. It just kinda came to me. I used to write raps over ten years ago so maybe this will revive that part of my brain and I can write some more poems. Who knows, we'll see.



Robdemanc
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,872
Location: England

24 Nov 2011, 2:13 pm

Its ok. I like looking at the stars too. But I don't read much poetry and am no good at criticising it. But it made me smile.

I did wonder what the last line meant though. Keep score of what?



MeloJag
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 121

24 Nov 2011, 9:34 pm

Thanx for reading it buddy. By keeping score I meant that to achieve my goals would count as a score. And by only amongst the stars I meant it as pushing myself to achieve high goals so as not to short-change my capabilities.