Be honest...is this any good?

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I like writing poetry. I use no rules, and I do not rhyme, ever. It's too confining, and I want to express what I'm thinking. That being said, I don't think I'm an Emily Dickinson or anything. I am quite pleased with this poem though, do you like it? Be really brutally honest.


Angel of Death

Oh how long can I trust you,
My angel of death?
I shrivel up and die within you
A cataclysm raging in my mind
Wanting to abandon my physical body
In the cold darkness within
The emergence came after the travesty
And I would choose insanity over this
I still feel you- it’s so cold
As I sink further into this Hell
Under all these feelings
I could never hide the pain
That broke me deep inside

Breathe for the future
Breathe for the life within
Hold the innocence
It only gets one life
Hold the cataclysm
Deep within the mind
Brace for the travesty
When this is not in mind
In mind, In my mind

Shut up, travesty!
Hold me in your mind
Drag me deep into your hell
I still feel it- it’s so cold
Wrapped in its ghastly shroud
It’s calling me to let go
I come into my mind
Drag me out to the light
Away from all the pain

I close my eyes
I fall down the hole
Back into the storm
That rages within
Do you suppose that
this would wait for me,
Angel of Death?

Breathe for the future
Breathe for the life within
Hold the innocence
It only gets one life
Hold the cataclysm
Deep within the mind
Brace for the travesty
When this is not in mind
In mind, In my mind

Drag me down inside
Kill my mind
Hold me in this travesty
Let it go, let me die
Hold me within
Hold me within
And now I go

I would choose insanity
Over this existence
Death comes from
Deep within the travesty

Goodbye Angel of Death

That is amazing, mesmerizing. I can't think of a single criticism to make.

Thank you so much!! !

That's the best writing praise I've ever received

I just like the word cataclysm, cataclysm is a good word. I like writing cataclysm.
My opinion however, more people go for sad poems more than dark poems. As dark poems go, this is a good one.

I think it's quite good.

Although when I saw the title I immediately thought "Slayer?!?"

Very gothic I must say.

Your imagery is very consistent, which I imagine is a conscious choice. Have you considered using contrasting styles to catch the readers attention? Mixing beautiful gothic images with grotesque modern symbols?

It's not utter shite like most of the poems people post. No rhyme is better than contrived rhyme. I'm no fan of the style and the subject is overly dramatic and overwrought. The structure is effective enough.

It's very neatly constructed. I like it when someone can write creatively AND correctly. I think it's important that writers pay attention to the punctuation and flow of their poems, otherwise it's just hell for the reader.

I agree. That's why I was surprised when I read this poem. It's very unusual for a poem to have a style that lives up to the substance.

This is the reason why I only write free style because all of the rules kill my creativity.
I really admire poetry like this because following the rules yet still creating a decent poem is not easy.