waiting clinically on foreverafters - poem

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started empty, confused and clawing to control that nothing
only to conform with rationale-shut doors and dreams
where would i feel at home, satisfaction in a smile..
unused childhood faded, and the hunger began

with mute wisdom and dissapointed tears
out of no reason to incomplete through the years
no lasting comfort in its guidance, only a season
i took a hit to bliss out came ignorance

if the truly free can`t dream? how can they fly?
matters of perception, always alone & cornered to decide
to dream walks in their shoes, try justify the cause of time
or choke to contentment in reality, and its aimless disguise

should i lie to myself, it`s gonna be alright!
peace i`ll feel, from sidelines of a heaven designed by me.
promises and preperations, all aimed at an end
to be left behind waiting for everafter to begin.

tried to live for something besides life to loose
the sanity of destiny, love peace joy prosperity
unspoken control with a light at the end
time could`nt find me, spinin round in my head.

through the storms, an that breeze
sorry you failed me, sorry i could`nt leave
failures an victories only said not yet undone
waitin in the flood on an ark to come.

the equation clear, suffer through with or without acceptance
try be a man, fight it or cover in denial and regret it,
and if my fire never dies? and everything real, ashes?
all that is important lost and all that is me jaded

i learn again, all you feel will break you eventually

nathan

Wow that is powerful stuff you are a great poet.