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Feel-Sorry-for Sex

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wcoltd
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22 Apr 2014, 10:42 am

WARNING: Features adult content.


Quote:
Guy: I'm so worthless, no one likes me I'm ugly.

Girl: Hey that's not true, you are beautiful, don't let anyone tell you different.

Guy: I'm a virgin and I want to kill myself

Girl: Hey, now, hey I'll tell you what. we'll have sex.

Guy: *wipes tears from his face* REALLY?

Girl: Yeah, we'll have sex right now.

Guy: You'll do that? *sniffles* for me?

Girl: pull down your pants...

Guy: *pulls down pants* Wow, that's a big one.

Guy: You really think so?

Girl: Yeah. Here we go are you ready?

Guy: *sniffles* Yeah I think so.

Girl: You are doing great! Good job!

Guy: Oh god, this can't be happening.

Girl: What's wrong?

Guy: I feel like I'm going to finish already, god I'm so pathetic.

Hey don't worry just bite your tongue you'll be okay. You can do it!

Guy: (With tongue bitten down) I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.

Girl: Your doing, OH, Oh my god.

Guy: groan.

Girl: Oh god I'm going to OH.

Guy: Oh yeah.

*they finish*

Girl: Are you feeling better?

guy: b***h GET ME A SANDWICH!



wcoltd
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22 Apr 2014, 10:52 am

The original version looked something more like this:

Quote:
Guy: I'm so worthless, no one likes me I'm ugly.

Girl: Hey that's not true, you are beautiful, don't let anyone tell you different.

Guy: I'm a virgin and I want to kill myself

Girl: Hey, now, hey I'll tell you what, well have sex.

Guy: *wipes tears from his face* REALLY?

Girl: Yeah, we'll have sex right now.

Guy: You'll do that? *sniffles* for me?

Girl: pull down your pants...

Guy: *pulls down pants*
*they begin having sex*

Girl: You're doing great! really good job.

Guy: I am? Okay.

Girl: I'm proud of you keep it up!

Guy: Okay, yeah thanks.

Girl: I believe in you.

Guy: Oh my god, this is so weird.

Girl: Don't give up you can do this, I believe in you.

Guy: No I can't do this I think I'd rather kill myself

Girl: Don't say that give it your all! Never give up.

Guy: Oh god!



syzygyish
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28 Apr 2014, 7:16 am

Now I want a cigarette!


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Rascal77s
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01 May 2014, 2:19 am

wcoltd wrote:
WARNING: Features adult content.


Quote:
Guy: I'm so worthless, no one likes me I'm ugly.

Girl: Hey that's not true, you are beautiful, don't let anyone tell you different.

Guy: I'm a virgin and I want to kill myself

Girl: Hey, now, hey I'll tell you what. we'll have sex.

Guy: *wipes tears from his face* REALLY?

Girl: Yeah, we'll have sex right now.

Guy: You'll do that? *sniffles* for me?

Girl: pull down your pants...

Guy: *pulls down pants* Wow, that's a big one.

Guy: You really think so?

Girl: Yeah. Here we go are you ready?

Guy: *sniffles* Yeah I think so.

Girl: You are doing great! Good job!

Guy: Oh god, this can't be happening.

Girl: What's wrong?

Guy: I feel like I'm going to finish already, god I'm so pathetic.

Hey don't worry just bite your tongue you'll be okay. You can do it!

Guy: (With tongue bitten down) I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.

Girl: Your doing, OH, Oh my god.

Guy: groan.

Girl: Oh god I'm going to OH.

Guy: Oh yeah.

*they finish*

Girl: Are you feeling better?

guy: b***h GET ME A SANDWICH!



Seems like an awful hard way to get a sandwich.



GregCav
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01 May 2014, 6:56 am

Not sure what to think of this post.

The punch line was pretty poor. The rest was just insulting.... Oh I see, it's stand up humor isn't it.



wcoltd
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02 May 2014, 11:24 pm

GregCav wrote:
Not sure what to think of this post.

The punch line was pretty poor. The rest was just insulting.... Oh I see, it's stand up humor isn't it.


Its basically a concept for sketch comedy. I just imagined what if when you had sex your mate congradulated you for it, like you were playing some kind of sport or something. No one I discussed this with really seemed to get what I mean by just appreciating how very weird that is. saying stuff like "Good job" "You are doing great!" "Fantastic! Way to go!" Just hearing that during sex. That's what this is about.



GregCav
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03 May 2014, 5:24 pm

Funny that I should guess it right. I'm usualy the last person to get these things :D



techstepgenr8tion
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09 May 2014, 11:37 am

Thanks, that was my slab of irony for the day.

Perhaps I'll have to try that if I ever end up in an awkward morning after situation 'Ummm....uh....I felt bad for you and thought you needed a pick-me-up!'. The things girls can say and get away with..... :roll:

On a side note - she should have just told him to get it done because he'd have more endurance for round two. Don't put the mack on someone just to get a five minute quickie, that's putting a perfectly good opportunity to waste.