Ladies and gentlemen... the WrongPlanet writing showcase

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I liked it but stumbled over the word mathematic, it didn't keep the flow of your over all, my feeling anyway. I found a great little site for help when looking for a word. Sort of feels like cheating to me, but I'll get over it. Nice flow to it, painted a picture, I like it. http://www.rhymezone.com/?loc=bar

Thanks, though I most likely won't need that site - I have a lot of weird hobbies, but writing poetry in foreign languages is NOT one of them. The atlantis thing is something that... happened. I guess my German poems are better.

Cool, to see words like that, as a hobby. Yeah figured it might be a language thing. Problem with books, some have to wait till the translation is done well and I don't think they ever get done to the full intent of the writer. At least that's what I've heard. I hope you didn't mind my comments.

I do wonder what the purpose of this gathering could accomplish and still be, humm, nice is the wrong word. It's hard to compare apples and oranges. I don't use that style of poetry and some don't use it all. I would suggest a project. Say pick a word. I'll use "Clown" as an example. Those with time, might use their style to do what that word or expression means to them. It would be more of a view of our differing styles. We could ask the group of what they thought of certian parts that we had trouble with, did we get a certian message across, or something along those lines? Just a thought. No grade on them. It's all good.

Reversal
Am I here or was I, now
in a burr? - a motion that's useless;
find that they come to an end after all.
On this continuous play by play,
we find there is an end after all.

My eyes are open,
that doesn't mean I'm here today.
I still can't see enough
to stop my feet from tripping.
This concrete that's so stable
yet this world it still so blurry
but I found a truth today,
there is no exit after all.

Words to context to meaning
should be a direct translation
still I find myself mishearing
frequency disrupted ~
response


delay -- connection lost.

This is inevitable,
reversal fastworwarded.
The reverse effect of mankind.
Our progress is null.

We are invisible, we are -
and this is not reversible;
on this plane I search forever,
where I begin, I am the end.

Brilliant use of line space and you tied the begining of the break and picked up the break with excellent choice of words. That poem was a huge encouragement to me to play with that. Was thinking of line breaks for the beat, rythm, but never ever thought of that kind of tie in. Just astonding.

Glad you like it paleo.

Last edited by agentcyclosarin on 19 May 2007, 10:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Meh, stuff isn't all that great but figured I would share anyway. I don't write much anymore but miss it sometimes

Raindrops
***********
My mind is numb,
My spirit-dead,
My heart unfeeling-
full of dread.

I feel no sadness,
I feel no pain,
I walk alone
out in the rain.

These raindrops hide
the tears that run;
To the world around,
My mind is numb.

My days are numbered,
My soul is weak-
But I still dream
and goals I seek.

Emotions aren't
a part of me...
Nothing's wrong-
so leave me be.


Break
*********
See people smiling so fake
Covering up their anger,
sadness,
insanity...

Reality will hit one day
I believe,
I feel,
I know...

It happens all too much for me
when the skies turn to gray,
my soul fades away,
my mind goes astray,
I don't want to play
the role,
this game...

I'm losing my mind,
just buying my time
until it all unwinds
and I come to find
my way,
my purpose,
myself...

One day I will
I hope it comes soon
because I'm so lost
so lonely
so numb.

I was thinking about sharing something, but as I tend to work my way from the small details up, I usually don't put the whole story together until the last moment, and it may take me a long time before I do. I don't even have chapters because I like writing whole pieces of internal monologue which span about a day or so (but with a lot of going back and forth in time).

So all I could share for now are random snippets, just to see whether my descriptions and imagery work (because it's all about imagery in the end). Does anyone think I ought to do this?

sure, most books I buy wind up being bought because of snippets I read on the covers and such

Sure, ixochiyo_yohuallan. I have a lot of little snippets.
I like little phrases or mini poems.
Like my signature.

"On this lonely planet,
we are people of distortion"
(might incorporate that somewhere, it just recently came to mind since I've somehow regained my obsession with a certain song more for the translation than the video and song as it was a while ago.)

I put this one almost everywhere:
"A simple mind couldn't turn you into what I want you to be; I am program and we are technology. A simple mind couldn't turn you in to what I see; I am a system - complex circuitry. A simple mind couldn't turn you in to what I believe; I am obsolete. As humans we fail becomming |[ Less || organic ]| |[ more || mechanic ]| "

I have an assignment in one of my classes to "write a lullaby for a specific audience" (yeah, it's a useless, inane course, it's called "Communications Technology" but has absolutely nothing to do with technology), so I came up with this song. I wrote it about the girl in the autism speaks video whose mother said something about wanting to throw her off a bridge (yeah, I know. What the hell?)

Jodie's Lullaby

Hush my darling, don’t you cry
For you are safe tonight
Don’t worry about the days ahead
Everything will be alright

If they don’t understand you,
That’s their fault, not yours,
Your mom wishes you were different
Your kindness she ignores.

Someday when you’re older,
You’ll meet others like you,
You’ll be loved for who you are,
You’ll grow to love them, too.

Go to sleep, my child,
For in your dreams tonight
You’ll run and swing and jump and play,
In a world that’s beautiful and bright.

Hush my darling, don’t you cry
For you are safe tonight
Don’t worry about the days ahead
Everything will be alright

I may as well reside here
‘till something can alleviate this fear
you see
this is how I be
when I’ve got no nails left
death is the only thing that feels right
that’s why I’m never afraid of theft
‘cause I’ve never been that bright
that’s all I thought I had left
and then my shadow fought its step right
‘cause it won a bet with whatever personality I have left
and now I’m walking in its light

i'm a man of my own mind
drowning in a flock of sheep
enveloped in a deluge of white
my purples and greens just blind

separation from society
it's the only way not to be
escape from your very own mind
so blindly happy as to be kind

yes i want sex but not malicious
yes i want killers dead but not vicious
no i want the poor to be prosperous
no i want the rich to be conscious

separation from society
it's the only way not to be
escape from your very own mind
so blindly happy as to be kind

i'm not a drone to the beat
care for animals but still eat meat
no i'm not a drone to melody
turning your drama into comedy

Planet Earth

A nice place to visit
but I wouldn't want to live there.
Might have to pack a bag
and be a lady hobo.
Where would I sleep though?
I'm afraid of my shadow.

On a dark night my soul
wants to go wondering,
squandering minutes and hours.
Time's nothing anyway.
No matter what I say,
it always comes back
to bite me.

Why not excite me then,
delight me with a taste
of eternity. Between you
and me there is nothing,
and everything I see
reflects what could be
if I was free of matter.


One Moment Please

God doesn't live in a brick s**t house.
He lives in a shack by the river.
The last time I saw him he was
sitting on a log drinking tea
and smoking tobacco.

Please understand
he is woman, she is man
sometimes cranky
sometimes sweet
God has two left feet
but that doesn't stop
them from dancing.

God doesn't care
if you're plain
or if you're fancy,
what you did last Monday,
where you go next Sunday.
God only knows
there is no time like the present
to be present when the sun goes down.

Umbrella

I try hold up the umbrella,
To cover up the rain,
But all of it gets through,
This represents the pain.
It lowers my own self asteem,
And everything goes wrong,
Sometimes people think when I'm down,
I am not "down" it for long.
Others think I make it up,
To try and get attention,
And that it's some how grow on me,
Into a bad obsession.

I give up.
I quit.
My life just feels like s**t.
I've tried.
To win.
This game I'm always in.
Don't want.
To play.
This game that life just plays.
I've had.
Enough.
I'm worse than "feeling rough".

Sometimes.
I just.
Want to feel lots of pain,
To cut.
And bleed.
Again. Again. Again.
I'm so.
Used to.
The suffering of it.
Being.
Treated.
Just like a piece of s**t.

I want.
To go.
To 1993.
And be.
A kid.
Without any worries.
Or no.
Bad thoughts.
Of smashing up my skull.
Into.
A pane.
Of glass or a window.

I try to hold a brave face,
But somehow it's stopped working,
I try to hold my mood in,
So people will not question.
They'll ask why am I sad,
Or angry, tense, or mad.
If I were to the tell the reason,
It will be like a treason.
They will know what I'm hiding,
For now it says in binding.
I'd rather stay and fake it,
Telling it makes me feel naked.

If.
I tell.
About this ASD.
I fear.
I will.
Get even more bullied.
I'd rath..
...er be.
Labelled as retarted.
Cos..
If.
I say.
I'm back where I'm started.

I've got.
This far.
Drenched in all of this rain.
This Um...
...Brella.
Has soaked my clothes again.

I'm f****d if I do, and I'm f****d if I don't,
I'm f****d if I will, and I'm f****d if I won't.
A catch 22 rules me over my days.
Depression.
And life.
Treats me like their slave.

Homicide?
Suicide?
Cyanide?
Help?

Bottle up?
Let it out?
Stay in doubt?
Yelp?

Keep going?
Stay flowing?
Have a go?
Cope?

Smile?
For a while?
Think good thoughts?
Hope?

Anything I've written goes here.