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Kris94
Deinonychus
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01 May 2008, 4:05 pm

just another day, I dont know why.
It floats on by, bleeding into night I dont know why.
Days into months, months into years,
why is that old age everyone fears?
Time moves slow when you dont want it to,
it moves fast when you dont need it to.

Like a liquid, it flows like a river,
through the universe...

What was before? was there ever?

the secret hides with the hanged man,
down the rabbit hole...


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Toral
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01 May 2008, 4:52 pm

I like it.

"bleeding into night" is a decent metaphor.

"The secret hides with the hanged man" increases the sense of mystery in the poem.


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MikeH106
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01 May 2008, 5:55 pm

Very nice.



flarpfreak
Tufted Titmouse
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07 May 2008, 5:23 pm

I wrote one like that once but yours is better :D



Sand
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07 May 2008, 8:16 pm

Nice poem. Nice feeling. I don't see time flowing. I flow.