Post a bit of text that resonates with you as an aspie

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I felt a resonance with this passage from Aldous Huxley's novel Point Counter Point :

'All his life long he had walked in solitude, in a private void, into which nobody, not his mother, not his friends, not his lovers had ever been permitted to enter. Even when he held her thus, pressed close to him, it was by wireless, as she had said, and across an Atlantic that he communicated with her.....
Philip was silent. These discussions of personal relations always made him uncomfortable. They threatened his solitude - that solitude which, with a part of his mind, he deplored (for he felt himself cut off from much he would have liked to experience), but in which alone, nevertheless, his spirit could live in comfort, in which alone he felt himself free. At ordinary times he took this inward solitude for granted, as one accpets the atmosphere in which one lives. But when it was menaced, he became only too painfully aware of its importance to him; he fought for it, as a choking man fights for air. But it was a fight without violence, a negative battle of retirement and defence. He entrenched himself now in silence, in that calm, remote, frigid silence, which he was sure that Elinor would not attempt, knowing the hopelessness of the venture, to break through. He was right; Elinor glanced at him for an instant, and then, turning away, looked out at the moonlit landscape. Their parallel silences flowed on through time, unmeeting.'

From Parenting Your Asperger's Child, talking about the "Fantasy" subtype of aspie:

This child is very similar to the OCD type except his distractions primarily involve his preoccupations with fantasy. This means Game Boy, Nintendo, Xbox, video games, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, the Cartoon Network, TV shows, Japanese animé, fantasy books, show tunes – the list is endless, but often involves electronics in some way. Not only does he obsess over the use of the electronic equipment, but the fantasy reoccurs without it as well. If the fantasy involves books or music, he doesn't need the actual object to experience its pleasure. So he replays, re-creates, or in some way engages in the obsession in his head. As he is eating dinner, sitting in class, doing his homework, or talking to you, there is another tape playing in his head. And this tape is all about fantasy. He does word-for-word scripting of dialogue and scenes in his head, combines different ones together, or makes up his own based on something he has seen or read. He may have many other obsessions, but the strongest are about fantasies. These fantasies serve many functions – besides being very enjoyable, they remove him from the unpleasantness of the real world, demands are reduced, and everything goes just the way he wants. As a result, reality is avoided, interactions with others don't occur, and life goes on without him. This is how he copes with stress and reality. Interfere with his preoccupations and you will experience his wrath. Leave him to his preoccupations and he can amuse himself for hours.

yeah! that's a great post IdahoRose.

Has anybody read the Robert Heinlein novel Friday? I don't have the book handy so I don't have any text from it, but I remember reading it right after I found out about aspergers and it just seemed to fit right along with some of my problems.

Two-headed boy
All floating in glass
The sun it has passed
Now it's blacker than black
I can hear as you tap on your jar
I am listening to hear where you are
I am listening to hear where you are

Two-headed boy
Put on Sunday shoes
And dance round the room to accordion keys
With the needle that sings in your heart
Catching signals that sound in the dark
Catching signals that sound in the dark

- Jeff Mangum. Neutral Milk Hotel. Two-Headed Boy.

Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
people think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me occupy my brain?
Oh yeah
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me us so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late

Ozzy Osbourne - Paranoid

Find me now, on a planet at the end of universe, troubled and confused me
Laugh now, shake the soul that knows no end, hey, Red River!

Even if I run away, it will come chasing after me
A blue mood is fitting in too tightly into this chest
Songs in the radio are sung in gasping breaths
Choking down the tears on the street at night

These tears of regret are forever unstoppable
I want to go as far away from people who won't understand me as I can

What time is it now, but it's actually unimportant
I'm sitting alone on a long bridge as if to harden myself
No one is able to rescue this torn apart heart
I want to meet somebody who would long for a person like me

Find me now, on a planet at the end of universe, troubled and confused me
Laugh now, shake the soul that knows no end
If I jump down from here, where shall I return to?
Please tell me why I was born, hey, Red River?

Billions of months and days piling up, extinguishing the earth
Swallowing both the mud and tears, floating away

Find me now, on a planet at the end of universe, troubled and confused me
Laugh now, shake the soul that knows no end
The suffering of such a small person is once again just like dust
I'm going home! Shout it out in the limited freedom, hey, Red River!

- "Akai Kawa" (Red River) by B'z ...Translated from Japanese. The greatest J-Rock band, in my humble opinion.
(Sounds amazing even if you don't know Japanese, and if you do, it's so poetically written 8D)

Whispering voices in my head,
sounds like they're calling my name.
A heavy hand is shaking my bed,
I'm waking up and I feel the strain.

I'm feeling pushed again... I'm feeling pushed again...

Why should I go where everyone goes?
Why should I do what everyone does?
I don't like it when you get too close,
I don't wanna be under your thumb.

I'm feeling pushed again... pushed again.
I'm feeling pushed again... pushed again.

Why can't you just leave me alone?
Solitude is a faithful friend.
Turn the lights off - I'm not home,
can't you see, I don't need your help?

You're going fast when I wanna go slow,
you make me run when I want to walk.
You're sending me down a rocky road,
I get confused when you start to talk.

I'm feeling pushed again... feeling pushed again.
I'm feeling pushed again... pushed again.

Why can't you just leave me alone?
You're dragging me right to the edge.
I've got to go when you jerk my rope,
I don't know where the good times went.

And I'm sick of this pain in my head.
And I'm scared I'm being pushed - being pushed again.

It's getting more than I can take,
it's like a band tightening around my head.
If you keep pushing, something's going to break,
it's making me think, I'd be better off dead.

Why can't you just leave me alone?
Solitude is a faithful friend.
I'll sort my life out on my own,
I just want this pressure to end.

And I'm sick of this pain in my head.
And I'm scared I'm being pushed - being pushed again.

Die Toten Hosen - Pushed again