Very graphic poem read at your own risk!

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Joined: 6 Mar 2008
Age: 39
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02 Feb 2009, 3:11 am

I hate my life , hate where I've been.
My life is ragged, torn to the skin.

My hope is broken , my dreams do fade.
He hides in shadows , behind the shade.

I cannot seem to lift the veil.
Will I ever, does no one care?

Everytime the terror comes.
Penetration and then I'm numb.

I sit sad crying in my room.
No ones there but my memory.

Is it real I need to know!
Make him leave make him go!

I hate this man inside my head.
As night comes I feel the dread.

God Please save me from this hell
Let me know so I can tell..............

Last edited by just-me on 02 Feb 2009, 2:11 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Abu_Zarqawi
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02 Feb 2009, 8:53 am

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

b9
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02 Feb 2009, 8:54 am

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

so it is too far in your future to appreciate.

spockezri
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02 Feb 2009, 9:12 am

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

STFU, just 'cause you can't appreciate her (him?) doesn't mean you need to tell her *him?* that.
Oh, and rhymes are still being written

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spockezri
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02 Feb 2009, 9:12 am

b9 wrote:

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

so it is too far in your future to appreciate.

Oh...nice!

_________________
~Donna Lawliet
No one's going to take me alive,
The time has come to make things right,
You and I must fight for our rights,
You and I must fight to survive.

spockezri
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02 Feb 2009, 9:13 am

just-me wrote:

I hate my life , hate where I've been.
My life is ragged, torn to the skin.

My hope is broken , my dreams do fade.
He hides in shadows , behind the shade.

I cannot seem to lift the vail.
Will I ever, does no one care?

Everytime the terror comes.
Penetration and then I'm numb.

I sit sad crying in my room.
No ones there but my memory.

Is it real I need to know!
Make him leave make him go!

I hate this man inside my head.
As night comes I feel the dread.

God plaese save me from this hell
Let me know so I can tell..............

Brilliant poem

One comment - Please instead of Plaese , Veil, Vail...but still quite powerful

_________________
~Donna Lawliet
No one's going to take me alive,
The time has come to make things right,
You and I must fight for our rights,
You and I must fight to survive.

b9
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02 Feb 2009, 9:24 am

just-me wrote:

goodness me i worked it out. it about abuse and it is very sad.

spockezri
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02 Feb 2009, 10:20 am

b9 wrote:

just-me wrote:

goodness me i worked it out. it about abuse and it is very sad.

Sí y sí

_________________
~Donna Lawliet
No one's going to take me alive,
The time has come to make things right,
You and I must fight for our rights,
You and I must fight to survive.

b9
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02 Feb 2009, 10:29 am

spockezri wrote:

Sí y sí

have no clue what that means so i have no response.
g'night i am too tired to talk now so whatever you meant can remain with you.

gina-ghettoprincess
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02 Feb 2009, 10:34 am

b9 wrote:

spockezri wrote:

Sí y sí

have no clue what that means so i have no response.
g'night i am too tired to talk now so whatever you meant can remain with you.

Si y si = yes and yes.

Very good poem, very sad.

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Abu_Zarqawi
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02 Feb 2009, 10:41 am

b9 wrote:

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

so it is too far in your future to appreciate.

i dont get it. i know its a diss of some kind, but you explain how it is in my future? are you calling me primitive? in that case thats pretty clever. you're a pretty smart dude dawg

b9
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02 Feb 2009, 10:51 am

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

b9 wrote:

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

so it is too far in your future to appreciate.

i dont get it. i know its a diss of some kind, but you explain how it is in my future? are you calling me primitive? in that case thats pretty clever. you're a pretty smart dude dawg

do not bother to bare your throat to me as i am not interested in following the matter up.

i am so tired now i am certainly going to go to bed.

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02 Feb 2009, 11:02 am

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

b9 wrote:

Abu_Zarqawi wrote:

rhyming poetry is so 18th century

so it is too far in your future to appreciate.

i dont get it. i know its a diss of some kind, but you explain how it is in my future? are you calling me primitive? in that case thats pretty clever. you're a pretty smart dude dawg

Abu_Zarqawi,
Perhaps you miss the point of our WrongPlanet website. This is a support site. We support each other. Just because you want to make some sort of point with your name and avatar of a Jordanian militant Islamist who ran a militant training camp in Afghanistan and became known after going to Iraq and being responsible for a series of bombings, beheadings and attacks during the Iraq War doesn't mean you can go around not supporting members of the website of which you have made yourself a member.

how you thought that you could keep a low profile here AND make snide comments is beyond me.

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Abu_Zarqawi
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02 Feb 2009, 11:33 am

good to know that dissent is discouraged. that certainly helps creating a constructive discourse.

Quote:

how you thought that you could keep a low profile here AND make snide comments is beyond me.

none of those are really my intention.

just-me
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02 Feb 2009, 2:14 pm

spockezri wrote:

just-me wrote:

Brilliant poem

One comment - Please instead of Plaese , Veil, Vail...but still quite powerful

Thankyou for the helpfull critique. :wink:

just-me
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02 Feb 2009, 2:19 pm

b9 wrote:

just-me wrote:

goodness me i worked it out. it about abuse and it is very sad.

Yes it is about abuse. I didn't think anyone would figure it out.

Ive been having flash backs and wrote a poem about it.

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