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Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 2:13 pm

I'd like to get a little writer's group here.

Here is the first exercise:

We'll do a word association game first. Type in the first word that comes to your mind when I say, "Relax"

Each person who follows the previous poster will type in the first word that comes to mind after saying the previous word aloud.

After we get a couple responses, we'll create a poem or story that includes all the words.

Okay, now someone type in the first word that comes to mind after you say "Relax."


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Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 6:38 pm

I'll do this by myself then. :lol:

Tea


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masterdieff
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18 Jan 2010, 8:04 pm

Shades.


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DemonAbyss10
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18 Jan 2010, 8:14 pm

Glass


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masterdieff
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18 Jan 2010, 8:19 pm

Bowl.


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Magnus
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18 Jan 2010, 8:29 pm

flower


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Magnus
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18 Jan 2010, 8:35 pm

He looked relaxed as he sipped his tea from a blue china bowl decorated with little blue and white flowers.


Someone fix this now...


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MissConstrue
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19 Jan 2010, 8:51 pm

He looked relaxed as he sipped his tea from a blue china bowl decorated with little blue and white flowers. He relaxed while sipping his tea from a blue china bowl decorated with little blue and white flowers. The sky was grey with a hint of melancholy. Through every sip, he had thought long hard about the life he had once had. His beautiful wife whom he loved now gone. The joy and gift his wife gave him were now living with his sister. All those years he had never known love for it was now. Now a house empty without the sounds of chattering, without his lady asking how many cubes of sugar he'd like. All her presence now gone due to a life long battle of cancer.



M'kay somebody fix this!!


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masterdieff
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19 Jan 2010, 9:15 pm

I'll try, but some of the wording seems unclear to me, so forgive me if I butcher the original intent.

MissConstrue wrote:
He looked relaxed as he sipped his tea from a blue china bowl decorated with little blue and white flowers. He relaxed while sipping his tea from a blue china bowl decorated with little blue and white flowers. The sky was grey with a hint of melancholy. Through every sip, he had thought long hard about the life he had once had. His beautiful wife whom he loved now gone. The joy and gift his wife gave him were now living with his sister. All those years he had never known love for it was now. Now a house empty without the sounds of chattering, without his lady asking how many cubes of sugar he'd like. All her presence now gone due to a life long battle of cancer.


He looked relaxed as he sipped his tea from a blue china bowl; it was decorated with little blue and white flowers. The sky was grey, with a hint of melancholy. Through every sip, he thought long and hard about the life he had once had- his beautiful wife, whom he loved, now gone. The joyous gift his wife had given him now lived with his sister. All those years, he had never known love as it was now. His house felt empty without the chatter, without his lady asking how many cubes of sugar he'd like. Her presence was now gone, due to a life-long battle with cancer.


I'm not an English major, but I did try to fix what I perceived as sentence fragments and the like. There are also some things which may be stylistic changes, rather than strictly based on grammar and syntax.


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DemonAbyss10
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19 Jan 2010, 10:23 pm

1 mistake, you forgot the word glass :P


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Magnus
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19 Jan 2010, 11:05 pm

Yeah, I left that out. I wanted to write down the first thing that came to my head after I read the words. I thought it might be interesting to see how that would work. I'm sort of just feeling this thread out now, to see where it is going, and to see if it has any potential as a start of some real online writers group.

I actually have a writing group I attend on Wednesdays, but it's a three hour class and I don't really know if I want to stick with it. It's mostly women over 60 and they chit chat a whole lot so I don't think I'll learn as much as I'd like to. There seems to be lots of creative and talented people here that I can relate to a little better, so hopefully something might materialize here, but if no one is interested then I'll just stick with the what I'm doing. I like the feedback here so far. I'm not comfortable using dashes. It's nice to see how much of an improvement dashes and semi colons can have on a sentence.

I knew I left out glass, but I wanted the scene to flow from a stream of consciousness. It's good practice for me to blurt out things without over thinking and then look at it from different angles to see how it can be improved.

So far the words are:

Relax
Tea
Glass
Bowl
Flower

Does anyone want to make a poem out of this, or should we finish up Miss Construes story?

Also, does anyone have any ideas that could make this a good writer's group?


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DemonAbyss10
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20 Jan 2010, 12:42 am

Magnus wrote:
Yeah, I left that out. I wanted to write down the first thing that came to my head after I read the words. I thought it might be interesting to see how that would work. I'm sort of just feeling this thread out now, to see where it is going, and to see if it has any potential as a start of some real online writers group.

I actually have a writing group I attend on Wednesdays, but it's a three hour class and I don't really know if I want to stick with it. It's mostly women over 60 and they chit chat a whole lot so I don't think I'll learn as much as I'd like to. There seems to be lots of creative and talented people here that I can relate to a little better, so hopefully something might materialize here, but if no one is interested then I'll just stick with the what I'm doing. I like the feedback here so far. I'm not comfortable using dashes. It's nice to see how much of an improvement dashes and semi colons can have on a sentence.

I knew I left out glass, but I wanted the scene to flow from a stream of consciousness. It's good practice for me to blurt out things without over thinking and then look at it from different angles to see how it can be improved.

Does anyone want to make a poem out of this, or should we finish up Miss Construes story?

Also, does anyone have any ideas that could make this a good writer's group?


ehh, forgetting about glass is alright, I just gotta be a bit more wary of my picking at stuff (yeah I can nag like no-ones business...)
As for the writing group you are currently in, yeah Id get bored (well, to be honest most senior citizens do bore me.)

Ideas for making this into a writers group. Do more exercises like this one. Should have more sharing of ideas in general. Discussion on character/story archetypes as well, put our analytical skills to use. Learn from the data gathered and such.

poetry I suck at, but ;ets see what else gets done with miss-construes story first.

Ill check this after I wake up I guess, already 1 AM


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DarrylZero
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20 Jan 2010, 1:50 am

Magnus wrote:
So far the words are:

Relax
Tea
Glass
Bowl
Flower

Does anyone want to make a poem out of this, or should we finish up Miss Construes story?


How about this:

Crash! As the vase falls, shatters
The wilted flower bathed in tears
Shards of fractured glass
Read like tea leaves
At the bottom of a bowl
“Relax, for nothing matters…
Anymore.”



masterdieff
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20 Jan 2010, 3:21 am

I'll give this a shot. A couple things though. I can't write poetry without [pseudo]rhyming (I'm strangely addicted to rhyming, actually). So it might sound a little corny. Also, my style of writing is highly autocentric, which I've heard is a schizotypal trait. 8O

Anyway, since this is just an exercise, I'm going to try to rhyme each of the words, in order, hopefully with at least some sort of unifying idea. Here goes. Oh one more thing after I started the first two lines: I'm using commas for rhythm guidance; I know they're not grammatically correct.

I seek to unwind, I seek to relax.
Please rid from my mind, this burden this tax.
I've now got a headache, level ninety-three.
To remedy this, I'll brew up some tea.

My feelings are glass,
so don't be so crass.
You'll shatter my soul
like some china bowl.

Don't show me your power.
Don't show me your glower.
Just live life at ease, like a pretty young flower.


I didn't lie when I said I was addicted to rhyme- I didn't notice 'unwind' and 'mind' until after the fact.


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Magnus
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20 Jan 2010, 4:42 am

DarrylZero wrote:
Magnus wrote:
So far the words are:

Relax
Tea
Glass
Bowl
Flower

Does anyone want to make a poem out of this, or should we finish up Miss Construes story?


How about this:

Crash! As the vase falls, shatters
The wilted flower bathed in tears
Shards of fractured glass
Read like tea leaves
At the bottom of a bowl
“Relax, for nothing matters…
Anymore.”


Awesome poem. I'd like to see masterdieff throw some dashes and semi colons in here.


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Magnus
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20 Jan 2010, 4:51 am

DemonAbyss wrote:

Quote:
ehh, forgetting about glass is alright, I just gotta be a bit more wary of my picking at stuff (yeah I can nag like no-ones business...)
As for the writing group you are currently in, yeah Id get bored (well, to be honest most senior citizens do bore me.)


You are not a nag for pointing out what now seems so obvious.

Quote:
Ideas for making this into a writers group. Do more exercises like this one. Should have more sharing of ideas in general. Discussion on character/story archetypes as well, put our analytical skills to use. Learn from the data gathered and such.


I love archetypes. Maybe we can write a fairy tale later?


Quote:
poetry I suck at, but ;ets see what else gets done with miss-construes story first.


Poetry is not my strong point either.
Quote:
Ill check this after I wake up I guess, already 1 AM


Night-Night


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As long as man continues to be the ruthless destroyer of lower living beings he will never know health or peace. For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other.

-Pythagoras