So I go out clubbing tonight...

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RogueProcess
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13 Sep 2008, 11:10 pm

I bump into a friend who I've not met in years, mainly because for the interluding years, she was attached to a complete good-for-nothing, abusive slob of a human. She immediately latches on to me, tells me how much she's missed me, hugs me, holds my hand, dances with me and all the rest. Now I'll be honest, yeah, I've had a bit of a thing for her. For, like, years. But what I didn't realize was that during the course of the night, she'd been doing exactly the same thing to a load of other people, many of whom I would consier my good friends.
I was absolutely furious. So the one thing she wants to do after being in a relationship with such a feeble excuse for a form of life, is to go whore herself out to whoever else she can find who she thinks still cares about her? Yet again, I'd been led on for no good reason without even suspecting a thing.
So why am I writing this? Basically I'd like to know from anyone so kind as to let me know - how do I avoid such a thing happening in future? Is there any way to tell if someone is just leading me on? The same thing has happened to me on many occasions before, and I'm never able to tell the difference between that, and if somebody is actually genuinely interested in me :(



Betterclassed
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14 Sep 2008, 2:00 am

RogueProcess wrote:
I bump into a friend who I've not met in years, mainly because for the interluding years, she was attached to a complete good-for-nothing, abusive slob of a human. She immediately latches on to me, tells me how much she's missed me, hugs me, holds my hand, dances with me and all the rest. Now I'll be honest, yeah, I've had a bit of a thing for her. For, like, years. But what I didn't realize was that during the course of the night, she'd been doing exactly the same thing to a load of other people, many of whom I would consier my good friends.
I was absolutely furious. So the one thing she wants to do after being in a relationship with such a feeble excuse for a form of life, is to go whore herself out to whoever else she can find who she thinks still cares about her? Yet again, I'd been led on for no good reason without even suspecting a thing.
So why am I writing this? Basically I'd like to know from anyone so kind as to let me know - how do I avoid such a thing happening in future? Is there any way to tell if someone is just leading me on? The same thing has happened to me on many occasions before, and I'm never able to tell the difference between that, and if somebody is actually genuinely interested in me :(


In all honesty, I don't really know for sure if indeed what she did was with intention of hooking up with someone else. Unless she sleept with you or made it obvious that she wants to be with you or anyone else at the time of this incident then I think really it was just "i really missed you high school bud" sitiation. Anyway I think you're just misintreperting her like many other aspies.



KingofKaboom
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14 Sep 2008, 2:24 am

Maybe she was just being overly friendly after being with a jerk unless she laid down and had sex with you and all those other people all she was doing was being friendly.


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ProtossX
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14 Sep 2008, 3:53 am

did you break those cuffs while clubbin?



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14 Sep 2008, 3:56 am

I wouldn't go so far as to say that she was whoring herself out. More likely, she was in desperate need of some positive attention, after dating an a**hole that most likely treated her badly. She may not have gone about it in the best way, but I can understand her need for that attention. Also, she probably really did just miss you, and was just being overly close because of her need.. it would have been a bad time to get in bed with her though, you risk becoming the "rebound boyfriend" or just having "rebound sex" which isn't so great.

I would try not to be too upset at her for it. Again, she may not have had the best way to go about it, but she was probably just lonely. If she continues to act this way, then yeah, it might be what you think.

As for telling if a girl really likes you, unfortunately, it's hard to say there's one specific thing they'll do. Something you can look for, though, is an honest interest in you.. if she's asking questions, and looking like she actually wants to listen to you, you have the makings of a friend at the least and maybe even a potential girlfriend.


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ToadOfSteel
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14 Sep 2008, 6:56 am

There's only one question I have...

Why on earth did you go clubbing?



hale_bopp
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14 Sep 2008, 7:30 am

Was she drunk? It may be the alcohol.



JohnHopkins
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14 Sep 2008, 9:05 am

She can hug who she wants, man. It's not like she was f*****g each of you in the toilet one by one. If you consider what she was doing to be 'whoring herself out' then I'd suggest you not go clubbing any more, lest thine innocence be stolen forever.



RogueProcess
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14 Sep 2008, 9:30 pm

Okay, I was most likely overreacting when I wrote that post, especially about the 'whoring' part, which was pretty unwarranted. I emailed her later on and we're back on friendly terms now. But it's been a thing that's been bugging me for a good while, as during the last few years, I've been led on many times by various people, and every time I never see it coming. It's getting to the stage where it's becoming kind of infuriating and would really want to avoid it in future, purely for the sake of my own sanity.
Cheers to everyone who gave sound advice though, it's very much appreciated :)



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16 Sep 2008, 1:15 pm

Rogue- hard to tell.

Just friday: went to a coffee shop, same situation. Guy was touching me, leaning on me, ask for number. Saw him next day, he discovered I was not going to screw him, and he starts to talk about his finacee. HEE

He was looking for some strange.

It is hard to tell their intentions. Time will help you figure it out.

She may really like you. Or she may be in between and uncomfortable. Or she may be a millions things. The human mind- who can tell?

But good luck. I hope she likes you! :-)



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16 Sep 2008, 5:31 pm

Did anyone yet think of the possibility that maybe, she was a bit hurt and insecure and looking for potential new mates?

I don't know about you...but many people I know simply jump from person to person to person...etc etc. So that they can maximize their chances to get into a relationship and have very little standards.

Just thought I'd throw that out there...since that would seem to be the case from my perspective.



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18 Sep 2008, 1:21 am

Chicks who go clubbing do this kind of nonsense all the time. They may use the slogan "empowered", or "looking for love". In reality, they're looking for the guy with the biggest fifth limb, and the thickest wallet.

If a girl starts doing anything physical without any intelligent communication (which is hard to have in a club with blaring music in the first place), or tries to treat you like an idiot child who is new to the concept of partying, just tell her straight out she's wasting your time. Don't be nice about it, either. Just bluntly tell her to "quit f***ing around,", or my favorite, "dead chicks can't say no."


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18 Sep 2008, 1:57 am

GoatMan wrote:
Chicks who go clubbing do this kind of nonsense all the time. They may use the slogan "empowered", or "looking for love". In reality, they're looking for the guy with the biggest fifth limb, and the thickest wallet.

If a girl starts doing anything physical without any intelligent communication (which is hard to have in a club with blaring music in the first place), or tries to treat you like an idiot child who is new to the concept of partying, just tell her straight out she's wasting your time. Don't be nice about it, either. Just bluntly tell her to "quit f***ing around,", or my favorite, "dead chicks can't say no."


Cynical, and rather disturbing... you make some gross assumptions about the motivations of others, without foundation - and that last line is creepy. I'm not sure where anyone can sit in judgment of the motivations and desires of another human being; all we have are opinions. One man's passion is another man's poison, as it is said...


M.


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21 Sep 2008, 8:20 pm

Quote:
Just bluntly tell her to "quit f***ing around,", or my favorite, "dead chicks can't say no."


Now that's a suave and classy response. Must get you a ton of girls.

I doubt any woman is going to be more attracted by threatening her with necrophilia, although it's probably a good way to get the 250 pound bouncer who overhears you to throw you head-first out of the club.



Emoal6
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21 Sep 2008, 9:26 pm

while I'll agree the one person's post was a little "sardonic", you have to read it for what HE meant, not what you THINK he meant.

I "believe" he was trying to say with that last line "dead girls cant say no" is that she was dead inside(desperate, alone) or that they have "weaker" judgement based on a sense of need.

Although I could be ENTIRELY wrong on this, but I'd prefer not to reprimand someone for thier poor choice of words, especially if its difficult to assume their intent behind it.



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21 Sep 2008, 10:08 pm

Quote:
I "believe" he was trying to say with that last line "dead girls cant say no" is that she was dead inside(desperate, alone) or that they have "weaker" judgement based on a sense of need.

Although I could be ENTIRELY wrong on this, but I'd prefer not to reprimand someone for thier poor choice of words, especially if its difficult to assume their intent behind it.


You're missing the point. What you said about his subjective intent might be totally true.

However, if you walk up to a girl in a club and say "dead girls can't say no", I highly doubt she is going to interpret it as meaning that she's just dead INSIDE because she's desperate and alone (supposedly), and that it's really just a sardonic comment.

And last time I checked while at a club, the club security doesn't care what your subjective intent is. It's almost a certainty than any bouncer would chuck you bodily out of a club for making that comment to any girl inside the establishment.