Is today's concept of "love" truly love at all?

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If this so-called love is based on shallow conditions such as money or attractiveness, can it truly be described as such? Is true love not almost entirely unconditional? If a love is transient and can dissipate over time, was it nothing more than long term infatuation?

I would have to agree with that statement... and it's not just love, either... all relationships have been cheapened.

Take a look at the word "friend": to me, someone I call a friend is someone that I can trust completely with my life. To other people, it's someone you've met and talked to for more than 5 minutes without getting into a fight (and the last condition is not strictly required)... I've gotten flak from people before because I didn't call them a "friend"...

Of course, that said, if you use my definition of "friend", love is nothing more than "friends" with benefits...

PS: hi...

I would have to agree with that statement... and it's not just love, either... all relationships have been cheapened.

Take a look at the word "friend": to me, someone I call a friend is someone that I can trust completely with my life. To other people, it's someone you've met and talked to for more than 5 minutes without getting into a fight (and the last condition is not strictly required)... I've gotten flak from people before because I didn't call them a "friend"...

Of course, that said, if you use my definition of "friend", love is nothing more than "friends" with benefits...

PS: hi... [/quote

Hey again lol! But back to the subject..... It seems as if "love" today means "I'm attracted to this person and have had more than 3 minutes of conversation". Today's concept of friends is a joke! Many claim to have 50 or so friends, most of whom are casual acquaintances.

Yeah, i know, 's freaking STUPID.
Buuuut, that's the way people are now. Idiocy is the norm.
So yeah, you see people who have had more than 5 or 6 'boyfriends/girlfriends' in less than a year, and they rarely last more than a few weeks. It seems to be ESPECIALLY bad when you're young.
So, to the rest of the world. THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR THE REST OF US.


......i'm not bitter, really. >.>

And then they wonder why the divorce rate is so high in America.....

O.O Y'know i've been thinking that for the past 5 years <.< Maybe my view of love is closer to the romantic version, but it would mean that you and your significant other share something more than just each other or your bank accounts (or even kids), and that would be your deepest feelings for each other...

To me, true love is being willing to put that person ahead of yourself. True love can last through the most dire of circumstances. In true love, one feels a connection souls uniting as one. True love is unconditional.

I should add another part to the definition of 'true love.' It is nigh-nonexistent. I daresay about half a dozen people in history had experienced true love.

I should add another part to the definition of 'true love.' It is nigh-nonexistent. I daresay less than half a dozen people in history had experienced true love. (zero is less than six)

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I disagree. I have 20 years of shared history with my husband. But our love does have conditions. If he were to hit me or the kids? It's over. Same rules apply to me. I think that even if you truly love someone, you have to limitations and boundaries on acceptable behaviours. What works in one marriage, may not work in another. Love absolutely has conditions.

That's a different definition from what the OP considers love to be. It's not pure love in my opinion but then again, ever tried drinking super-purified water? It tastes awful and sucks minerals out of your body to maintain an even level of concentration.

If he truly loves you, he won't do that... that's the trust aspect involved in love (which also explains why so few people experience true love...)

I agree with many many many of the things that have been said here so far.

Something I have experienced is friends thinking that being a friend means you OWE them, they OWN you, and they bully you and treat you badly when you don't do what they want.

One particular thing I have experienced more than once is a friend getting arsey with me because I did not reply to their text message straight away.

It's almost as if by becoming their friend you somehow signed a contract with certain rules, and yet you are not aware of this but they expect you to just know. I have had a few friends in my life, more than some, not as many as others. But of all the friends I have had in my entire life, I have only ever had 3 true friends. All others I call "friends" but when I truly think about it, they are really just casual acquaintances. The 3 true friends I have are the friends whom I have been through many ups and downs with; have had the confidence to face them and sort problems out and still remain friends; they've helped me and I've helped them; we've shared a lot. They are the ones I "love".

However I can still appreciate and respect the others, but "Love" is different.

He or she who has four hundred best friends never really has any true friends.

I don't see "True Love" as meaning you would put someone ahead of yourself; nor does it mean trusting someone with your life. To me it is not right to put someone on a pedestal above yourself and it is not fair to place responsibility of your life in someone else's hands.

True Love means...

- to accept the person as they are,
- to respect them and their ability to live their life, be self-governing, make decisions and mistakes, and to let them be,
- to offer support and help if and when you think it is best to give it and if they want it;
- to be honest with them;
- and perhaps the most important part of loving another person is ... loving yourself too. If you don't have love, respect and honesty for yourself how can you have love, respect and honesty for another. As easy as it sounds, it takes strength to realise that both you and the other person are equal in the relationship. Many don't have this strength. Some think or act as if they are above the other person, and some think they are not worthy and therefore place themselves BELOW the other person.

Another thing: many people can not seem to separate Love and Need. Many think they Love a person when in fact they are only Needing them. Needing them in their life to fill a void. Some have a big void that needs filling. It's a funny concept to think about, but I swear many people just fall in love with the idea of being in love... and so they attach to the nearest person who they think will give that love.

I have never been in a relationship, and have never been in Love. Until recently when I realised that I am actually in Love with someone for the first time. It is an amazing feeling, scary too. It is a feeling that has been gradually developing over a period of time and has been getting really intense. It felt (feels) like a really foreign concept because I am not used to it... I was scared to contemplate what it is and I had to take time to contemplate it in all its entirety. I had to THINK about it... be sure... I had doubts in the early stages... and even now it is still sinking in.

Yet I have spoken to people who have fallen in love with someone, then fallen out of love and then fallen in love with another person... all within a matter of days. They really do believe they are in love, and yet it comes and goes so quickly for them. Why? Because, to me, it is not really Love, they are just reacting to a (often unconscious) need to BE loved. They love the idea of being loved, but do they really love the person they claim? Not as I see it.

Rik

"Another thing: many people can not seem to separate Love and Need"

Need to me means mostly only physical attraction (ie : wanting to have intercourse with the other selected person).

Its truly sad how far scociety has degraded...

And since we're talking about love....

"What is love?! Baby don't hurt me....don't hurt me....no more"