28 Feb 2010, 2:16 pm
28 Feb 2010, 2:22 pm
28 Feb 2010, 2:39 pm
28 Feb 2010, 3:34 pm
28 Feb 2010, 3:34 pm
28 Feb 2010, 3:35 pm
After a bit of consideration, it seems to me that the issue here may be just a matter of the usual over stimulation that people with AS have trouble with.
Another person is very much like sound, smells, visual noise or any other stimulus. The more over stimulation I get from another person, the more I tend to close in on myself. Normal NT behavior might be to try to get closer and more intimate with other people which to me feels like their personality is expanding, filling the available space and I have to compress my personality to compensate. The default behavior of an NT would tend to be very oppressive to an Aspie. This would likely leave Aspies feeling that engaging in relationships that involved any significant intimacy would "consume" their persona.
This sounds like a good description of the way I respond to intimacy and at any rate is a fine excuse for why I can't get a date.
28 Feb 2010, 3:43 pm
Taupey
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28 Feb 2010, 4:47 pm
What are your experiences with 'crushing'?
The object of my limerence is an Aspie on the other side of the World, in Finland maybe. He's hijacked my BlackBerry, controls my Internet access, hears all my calls, reads all my emails and I adore him.
Thank you for the reply Pigeon.
I have never felt threatened or that I was in a dangerous situation by him doing this.
I know quite a lot about him as well.
He uses the signals as a way to communicate yes or no. He sometimes uses my Internet access as a guide to direct me to a forum we use. He knows what I'm searching for when I'm searching and he let's me know in advance which search result is best. He also let's me know when he doesn't like something. I would rather that he be honest and communicate in this way than not.
We communicate on the forum where we met and we have photographs of each other also. The best thing that I like about this situation; we can do our own thing and have our space but still be able to be linked. Maybe one day we will meet. Whatever happens, I hope we will always remain friends.
Taupey
01 Mar 2010, 11:15 am
What are your experiences with 'crushing'?
The object of my limerence is an Aspie on the other side of the World, in Finland maybe. He's hijacked my BlackBerry, controls my Internet access, hears all my calls, reads all my emails and I adore him.
Thank you for the reply Pigeon.
I have never felt threatened or that I was in a dangerous situation by him doing this.
I know quite a lot about him as well.
He uses the signals as a way to communicate yes or no. He sometimes uses my Internet access as a guide to direct me to a forum we use. He knows what I'm searching for when I'm searching and he let's me know in advance which search result is best. He also let's me know when he doesn't like something. I would rather that he be honest and communicate in this way than not.
We communicate on the forum where we met and we have photographs of each other also. The best thing that I like about this situation; we can do our own thing and have our space but still be able to be linked. Maybe one day we will meet. Whatever happens, I hope we will always remain friends.
Taupey
Taupey
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Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.
01 Mar 2010, 4:28 pm
Thank You Pigeon.
02 Mar 2010, 5:44 pm
i'm going through this right now and it's tough as hell. i also work with the dude and he's unavailable anyway, but the feelings are mutual which is making me extra crazy. at first i was loving the intoxicating feeling of having a crush but now i'm just mad as hell, i do this to myself all the time and it hurts. i'm trying to not make myself crazy over him, but i'm doing it anyway and it sucks bad.
i haven't really upset him yet except i had a meltdown at work yesterday, he doesnt want me to take my anger out on my work and get in trouble, which is cool i guess. although a part of me wishes he didn't care so damn much. damn you, how dare you care about me? i'm all about hating the world and wanting to be alone all the time and then this fellow comes along and i've never gotten along with anyone so well in my life. and now i spend all my time wanting him and stuff and i'm lucky if we can have a ten minute talk with each other with no interruptions or eavesdroppers. 
yeah so all i can say is FFFFUUUUUUUU lol. at least i go on a mini vacation next week, dont have to deal with my co-workers, or have that whole thing stressing me out, i'll be alone and i'm going to see my favorite band
happymusic
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02 Mar 2010, 8:05 pm
03 Mar 2010, 12:59 pm
I guess it's somewhat relieving to know that this is somehow tied with AS. All of my teenage years had been about getting over one crush or another and I always felt it was unnatural to be so disproportionately interested in people I barely knew.
I tend to keep it in check these days. My lack of regular social interaction with people probably helps keep it from happening, as well.
Despite my AS tendencies, I've been known to be pretty passionate in relationships (the two I've had), once trust is established. So maybe the crushing carries over into it.
I guess another way to look at it is that when you're lonely all the time, another person is as good a hobby as anything.
Taupey
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03 Mar 2010, 6:03 pm
somewhat relieving to know that this is somehow tied with AS. All of my teenage years had been about getting over one crush or another and I always felt it was unnatural to be so disproportionately interested in people I barely knew.
I tend to keep it in check these days. My lack of regular social interaction with people probably helps keep it from happening, as well.
Despite my AS tendencies, I've been known to be pretty passionate in relationships (the two I've had), once trust is established. So maybe the crushing carries over into it.
I guess another way to look at it is that when you're lonely all the time, another person is as good a hobby as anything.
I have kept mine in check by trying to find as many faults as I could with them. It actually worked very well for 15 years. My last crush was my late husband. Something happened when we both found out his time was limited. I was devastated and became numb he became selfish and died angry. My crush was gone before he was.
I have no idea what happened this time. I live like a recluse myself. I didn't even see it coming. The man and I didn't even like each other. He was mean to me, I was mean to him right back. Then out of I don't know where, he was like a God and I was worshiping him. He still is like a God and I am still worshiping him.
Taupey
03 Mar 2010, 6:46 pm
Northeastern292
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03 Mar 2010, 6:52 pm
