So, it's absolutely done with my internet friend.

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We have desserts. Albeit not very good ones.
Yeah, the closest like, actual desert, with the sand and stuff, is in Iraq isn't it?

Against all odds, aspie friend who deserted me (no pun intended) somehow spoke his mind very clearly. And he doesn't hate me! In fact he loves me? :S (confused but happy)

Must be a case of, "I know this feeling i have for said person, but its too painful/awkward/odd to handle." I get that way too, but i try to avoid the budding relationship (if at all possible) so i dont get emotionally confused/overstimmed.

Hmm, well, I'm glad he could be honest. I'm so relieved we are still close. I just am not sure how to respond. I mean, I feel similarly...But yeah.... *gets blank look*

Does it really hurt to avoid the relationships?

Its hard to describe . . . dunno if some others get this, but i get this pain when exposed to potential attraction (like my brain cannot handle the thoughts and hormones flooding my system). At the same time, i do feel the lack of companionship, and that makes for another kind of pain (oddly, its always felt like all/many forms of emotional response cause me pain/anxiety to some degree). Guess i take the lack of companionship as the lesser of the "evils," but at the same time that induces the depression. No win situation . . . a game that i hate and will NOT play if at all possible (i despise games you CANNOT win, or have no chance at winning . . . damn waste of time and the only thing learned is that you shouldnt have played it in the first place ).

That aside, if you know and he are both falling for each other, try starting out slowly (just advice from what ive seen/heard, not personal experience). Say, meet once a week or so at a favorite/common haunt, or get a teamspeak download (as long as you both have microphones for your computers, you can talk to each other without eating up phone minutes). But, if it is truly over, I dunno what to say otherwise.

That statement there tells me that you never made enough of an effort to understand aspergers. None of this is a choice, we don't chose to have bad communication skills, and we certainly aren't incapable of feeling as it seems you're implying. I am willing to be he cares very much but just couldn't show it, because he didn't know how. So many girls I've loved are to this day unaware of just how much I loved them, only once have I ever told a girl I loved her and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I was simply lucky to have a day of clarity where I was able to talk about my feelings, something that is usually impossible for me to do.

That statement there tells me that you never made enough of an effort to understand aspergers. None of this is a choice, we don't chose to have bad communication skills, and we certainly aren't incapable of feeling as it seems you're implying. I am willing to be he cares very much but just couldn't show it, because he didn't know how. So many girls I've loved are to this day unaware of just how much I loved them, only once have I ever told a girl I loved her and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I was simply lucky to have a day of clarity where I was able to talk about my feelings, something that is usually impossible for me to do.

People change their minds a lot, I think. Even if he had vanished (and it seems like you got back in touch with him?), that wouldn't mean that he never cared, only that he doesn't for the moment.

"... [M]isunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent," as quoted from Goethe.

I make an effort to be at least somewhat predictable.

Sorry. That was a stupid comment. I know aspies are capable of feelings and stuff, I tend to say stupid, pessimistic things when super upset.



Well, he's on an "indeterminate goodbye"
Not sure if thats means we'll chat again.

Internet friends = Useless. This is exactly what happened to me today, well no, she ain't exactly an internet friend because ive met her before, just we spoke more on the internet.

Today she decided to not talk to me COMPLETELY, and I'm now going nuts because I've helped her and she helped me and she decided to throw it out the window? Now who do I trust in the world?

(By the way, I wasn't being serious about internet friends being useless).

You was after all having issues with that guy, now I'm just thinking what is the point of that when its going nowhere.
By the way? Was you on about the one that you liked before or the current one?

I'm sorry. I don't know if my friend decided to throw it out the window...But he's "taking a break" I suppose you could say. And it's the same one I've liked for a while.
I'm just not sure if he's serious about contacting me again, or if he's just letting me off easy, or not. He was concerned about making me feel bad all the time. And now he wants to change. But I hope he's not trying to change too much. :S All he needs to learn is some communication skills, and I need to learn my share of social skills, too. I kinda wish he'd ask me to help. But I guess I'm not very good at that.

and this:

even if that's true it demonstrates knowledge that someone is somewhat emotionally normal that they care what effect they are having on the other person and are aware they are inflicting pain and would rather not be inflicting the pain and feel bad enough about it to make a firm boundary. Those are good qualities even if it feels like sh*t and induces more intense pain initially. Though I think blocking someone is a pretty severe thing and I'm not sure that he deserves to have your affection back after doing so.

Last edited by alana on 25 Apr 2010, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sorry to read what you have been going through. It sounds like what I have been going through myself with my Internet Friend. My IF doesn't communicate well at all with me. And it does get very confusing. I hope he gets things processed and back to writing you in no time.

Yeah, I miss talking. :/

Hmm hmm, might want to change the title of the topic now. ^^;

I'm not sure how to do that.

im sorry. I know what it feels like, I became extremely attached to an internet guy a few years agoa nd "loved" him, he was really rude to me at one stage and broke my heart for two months when he stopped talking to me and texting me.

I hope you feel better soon. You may look back and realise he wasn't worth it. I did.