Butterflair wrote:
I have a similar situation but in reverse. It's been two weeks since I've heard from my guy (friend) and the last conversation seemed fine. He won't respond to email. This has happened before and it's very distressing to me. He is aspie, I am NT.
Quote:
If you want to redefine the relationship, stop calling, stop writing, no contact for a month. If she misses you, let her chase you. If not, no loss.
would this work? The predictable me continues to write and ask for contact. Should I let him alone for awhile?
There are no guarantees in love and life -- I do know that anyone you have to repeatedly pester to stay in contact with is probably not a great prospect. I do understand Aspie issues impact on this, but this makes me think even more that if they want some solitude (or just space from you), trying to get closer will have the opposite effect. For a relationship to work, the other person has to meet you halfway.
Anytime in my past that I had to chase someone that hard, 100% of the time no relationship resulted. My relationships came from people who also sought me out -- the attraction was mutual, as was the level of interest.
There's someone out there for you -- but probably not this guy. There's this cultural myth we have on TV and film that the guy or girl pursues the other person with fervor, and that the level of effort can overcome all objections -- It's just not true. This isn't me being cynical, but realistic -- we have our preferences, and can't have something forced on us. By the same token, we can't always have what we want.
Thank goodness we live in a huge world where it is very easy to get in contact with more and more people -- the opportunity out there is almost endless