Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

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My take? Just being nice is not enough. You should also be someone she would be interested as a couple. If being nice is the only quality she sees in you... well, that sounds boring.

Hello. First time posting here. I think I’m an NT, but I might have high functioning AS. I'm 47, so I dont' know if it would matter much if I knew. I have 2 sons that were diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 1. They are 25 and 17 now. I have 2 girls who are NT, 27 & 23.

Over the last 2½ months I have been dating a wonderful man with Aspergers. He is a “nice” guy, and falling in love with him was very easy. He did not and has not told me he has Aspergers, and I will not tell him that I know. I figured it out myself after knowing him 3 weeks, and it was confirmed by a mutual friend. I have not told him that I am falling in love with him either. Don’t quite know how to tell him. I do tell him how smart, talented, handsome, kind, and sweet he is all the time. I just wish I knew how he felt about me. He is constantly saying, “You’re really nice to me.” He did state that I was probably getting fed up with his little quirks. I reassured him and let him know that I’m not.

Opinion time!! !

My aspie guy is the sweetest, kindest, most shy guy in the world and I love him to death!! ! I chased him!! ! Aside fom the fact that he's beautiful and always smells of chocolate, he is always attentive and apologetic when he sees that he's said something wrong. Just today I told him he was "batting a thousand", a synonym for saying "you're being an ass", and he asked what game we were playing. Haha! When I told him what I meant, he gave me the most apologetic, comforting hug I could have evet asked for.

I've been with the "bad boy", and of course, I got hurt.

All people are capable of causing pain, but only the nice guys can let you down gently.

Nice guys are good friends but I need something more then just a nice guy to be with. I want a guy thats into music sports, and going to church, of course but hey I am a bad boy myself its just my nature but thats another story for another time.

I knew a nice guy once. He turned into an a**hole to get popular. I honestly think that nice guys don't stay nice guys...

As meat loaf would sing:

Good girls go to heaven, but the bad girls go everywhere....

I agree nice guys do finish last at least most of the time. I believe the odds are stacked against the nice guy, they usually end up finishing last but every now and then people realize the nice guy is what they were looking for all along, and that's when the nice guy can win... all though I've seen this happen it happens rarely and much less often than it should. AS people can pull off being a**holes though... just be brutally honest it's one of the things were known for.

I've read the first 10 pages and and got the impression that few understand why it's so hard to get woman your attracted to.

Most men from the ages 20-40 WANT to date hot young 20-25 year old girls. So there are MANY men trying to date a small demographic, it's a small demographic because of the obesity crisis in america and because few are interested in older woman. Does it not make logical sense for a normal woman to want to date guys who are socially normal so that the woman do not appear awkward to friends and family? And since Asperger's/Autism are much more prevalent in men than woman, there must be men who don't get dates or have to date normal woman. I'll re-iterate: A hot aspie woman will have absolutely no problem getting in bed with someone, but an aspie man will surely have difficulty because of supply and demand. If u do happen to get a hot young girl, you could lose her if some other hot guy hits on her.

The ONLY reason you should go out with a woman is for a piece of that **s. If men wanted to date woman for just companionship, we wouldn't be seeing so many single fat and old woman, now would we? Woman are THE SAME in wanting hot sex. It's not until later in life do woman realize that guys aren't as interested in them anymore, so they'll finally settle with some nice guy, hence the phrase,"nice guys finish last." And by the time they reach this age, you aren't interested in them either.

And now for some statistics.
The US marriage rate slowly descended from about 80% in 1970 to under 40% today. A slow descent means that no fault divorce laws aren't the only culprit for such declines.

The amount of kids out of wedlock went from under 5% in 1950 to over 30% in 2010, despite all the contraceptive advances. This shows woman will go out with deadbeats nowadays like never before.

Given the sharply declining marriage rate and high divorce rate, even if you do find some girl and actually get to marry her, don't expect things to last long. Woman are twice as likely to file for divorce and 90% likely to get custody of kids in the US of A. Aspies themselves are shunned by passive aggressive woman and the like, which I consider a good thing for finding a longterm relationship. And if u do get kids and they are diagnosed with physiological illnesses and your woman finds out, she might be mad and divorce right there.

So, other than sex, what would a marriage offer a normal woman? The only other thing I can think of is companionship which itself is almost purely based on deceit by fake laughing and being interested in things you aren't (whatever the girl would be interested in). For normal people, fake laughing and having a convo about unimportant issues and subjects is pleasurable, but for aspies, I believe not. So since aspie men won't attract woman by social companionship, it would have to be a good body, sex, and money. But then there are MANY normal men ages 20-40 who stand in line to offer that due to a huge supply of men and low supply of hot or decent looking 20-25yr old woman, naturally a young hot woman will go for the best which is a very social guy, jacked up, and that spends money on her.

People tend to think short term benefits/consequences instead of long term benefits/consequences. Hot young Woman also like being *****d against a wall during hot sex, getting showered with presents, have lots of money spent on them, and being right about everything. They don't think longterm.

Now for my don't feel depressed sentence. Many normal men do get divorced and end up single AND having to pay child support/alimony which sucks a ton. Then again a lot of men do not get divorced, maybe because of the threat of paying child support or because the marriage is working great. At least your single and don't need to pay child support for 15yrs.

Have I made generalizations here that don't apply to everyone? Of course I have! Can you bring up anecdote of both supporting and disproving of what I say? Absolutely. But can you deny that marriages in general are rocky to begin with and woman are twice as likely to file for divorce? No.

If you just want to get dates. You need to start lying just as the woman are. Woman lie about their age and whether or not they have mental disorders all the time. Many woman have passive aggressive disorder, bi-polar, borderline personality disorder, panic disorder, etc... Yet do they say that they do or admit to it? Hell no. How is anyone surprised that a normal woman will dump a man immediately if they hear that he has autism/aspergers?? A normal woman would be immediately criticized by friends & possible suitors if they hear of a woman dating someone like that.

IMHO, I've seen some very good advice and some BAD advice about what to do on a date. I've seen one that said bring a nintendo with you instead of a smart phone. MY GOD DON'T EVER DO THAT! Always bring that smartphone instead and don't play on it, keep it in ur pocket unless it rings. If you can't talk to her because shes a girl, stop caring so damn much. Think of her like a some random mcdonalds employee at the counter and ur ordering ur meal.

I'd suggest watching all the youtube vids on tom leykis, hes really good
You'll get the true insight on woman from this man.

The main purpose of young people dating is to get laid for BOTH men/woman.
Forget all of that conventional wisdom crap you've been taught.

replaced, you have a brain of your own, which means you will soon be banned from this forum.