Do you miss someone right now?

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Yes, I do.

Yes, but it's my own silly fault. I fell for someone I've never met except on WP, which was lovely. But then we fell out. I'm nearly better now but every now and then it comes up and bites me - obscurely, mostly in the mornings - and over Christmas I felt it hard. But at least it stopped me fretting too much about Christmas!

[EDIT - to make more succinct and less cynical]

Last edited by HighPlateau on 27 Dec 2011, 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I miss my three "little" sisters. 31, 29 and 25 years of age.

But will party with them all on new years eve! :drunken::mrgreen::jester:

Remarkably accurate for me.

Yes.

I miss my Mum who passed away on 7th Dec.

I still live in the house i grew up in and it doesn't feel like home since she died

I'm so sorry to hear that, Swinehat.
(((((hugs)))))

Yes. But I'll see him soon. And soon we're back living together.

Yes, broke up with my on/off girlfriend/eff buddy last january, wed been together 7 years, but she was an NT and communication between us had more or less dried up. If we went out 9 times out of 10 we would end up sitting in a pub in awkward silence until one of us (usually me) got drunk and started an argument. The only thing that was consistently good was the sex, which is what I miss most i spose.

What makes matters worse is that she was basically the only friend I had left and my lifeline to the outside world. For the past year Ive become more and more isolated and reclusive and my "aspiness" has become more prominent, I can barely make eye contact with anyone anymore and have constant feelings of low self worth.

Really hoping 2012 is the year things turn around for me, because if they dont I really cant see myself making it to 2013.

Sorry you're feeling so sad, roccoslife. This is a time of year where absence of loved ones hits hard, and I can see how the approaching anniversary must be amplifying that for you. It took me close to two years to get used to living without my lifeline to the world (similar duration, similar demise), and I spent many months of those years more or less shut away, even though I'm what's been called a 'social aspie'. But suddenly, after the very darkest time of all, I'm feeling buzzed and optimistic again. 2012 is the year it comes together for me; somehow I know this. I wish and believe in the same for you.

May I suggest a couple of small stopgap measures? Stay in touch with the good people on WP. It can be a substitute lifeline. Don't be afraid to post (as you are doing now) if a topic gets you interested, or take a chance and PM someone if you are inspired to get off-topic or discuss something in a wider-ranging way than a single-issue thread will allow. Do try to keep your thoughts away from romance because that stuff cannot be forced, especially when you're feeling down. Also remember to get outside and rub shoulders with real people, even if it's only by adopting a regular internet cafe or something. Eye contact may not be required at all , but there is still something cheering about regular faces that start emerging from the crowd. Those little excursions can really blow away the cobwebs.

* * *
Finally - and this is not for everyone, and should only be tackled during calm moments of repose - I believe this essential pause between relationships can be a real treasure if it is used to honestly come to grips with our own mistakes and the emotional baggage that may have triggered them. I caution this must be done carefully, in a spirit of self-love and without harsh self-judgment which can accomplish nothing but further damage. Go easy on yourself: not everything that goes wrong is due to a mistake; not all mistakes are dreadful; not all mistakes are yours. You will probably know which need the most urgent attention. Leave the rest to take care of themselves, or for another day. Treat your sadness just like a classroom or workshop where you can figure out what to own and repair, recognise and put aside stuff that was always someone else's, and choose what to tackle differently next time around. Then set it gently aside.

Please don't worry. There will be a next time, you know. If you lasted seven years, you're already good at this stuff. After this you will be even wiser. Hang in there, eh? Your chance will come when the time is right.

Sorry if this sounds platitudinous or intrusive. I spoke from the heart and my own experience. I really felt for you when I read your post. HP

All day, every day.

((Jawbrodt))

^
His deep hearted agility & smile will live Forever.
"Always be cool with what you do and be willing to live with it"

I miss my ex so much I feel like I will die without him, I feel so sick in my heart. But I wont contact him, I will let him be free and have a new life as its for the best, but oh it hurts so much, just so much.

but at least he is alive. Poor Jawbrodt Poor kittenwithawhip *big hugs*

Miss my Muffem (Emma) I don't know where she is or how she is and it tears me apart every day. Weird how Avril Lavigne's - When You're Gone, came on randomly as I came to post here :/ Emma has been there for my other birthdays but the one just gone, she never turned up I just want to know she's ok and would love just five minutes with her again. I know she misses me/talking to me too because she's said so herself last year :/ Makes no sense that she's just disappeared when she promised she'd be around. It will have been a year and four months in about two weeks. She doesn't live near me so I can't just go knock on her door to know she's ok, no phone number. It's possible her laptop has just finally broken but the not knowing is killing me inside and I always end up missing her even more as each day passes. It hurts a lot right now.

Thank you Raven. Breaking up is a kind of death, and I honestly don't know which is harder...knowing they are gone for good, or knowing they are alive and well but you can't be with them. I'm sorry for your loss, too.

I'm still thinking about you, hon. I promise you it will get better....but it takes a long time. Just keep breathing.