Influx of help me with my Apsie BF postings lately?

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Joined: 1 Jan 2012
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05 Jan 2012, 12:09 pm

PaintingDiva , lol!

I can see it now:

"NTGF4LIFE Writes: Thx u gaiz I'm so happy wiv ur advice Imma go back 2 mai bf now k thx bai xx xx :oops: "

"TipoftheAsperg Writes: Hey I'm new to this forum "

5mins later....

"TipoftheAsperg Writes: OMFG WTF U BICHHHHH FFS U ret*d :evil: "

10 mins later....

"TipoftheAsperg makes new thread: Single Aspie looking for love "

ghostar
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05 Jan 2012, 12:24 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:

PaintingDiva , lol!

I can see it now:

"NTGF4LIFE Writes: Thx u gaiz I'm so happy wiv ur advice Imma go back 2 mai bf now k thx bai xx xx :oops:

"

"TipoftheAsperg Writes: Hey I'm new to this forum

"

5mins later....

"TipoftheAsperg Writes: OMFG WTF U BICHHHHH FFS U ret*d :evil:

"

10 mins later....

"TipoftheAsperg makes new thread: Single Aspie looking for love

Oh dear god! This is hilarious! You made my morning. Thx!

PaintingDiva
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05 Jan 2012, 12:28 pm

excellent scenario!

roflmao

blueroses
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05 Jan 2012, 12:31 pm

krazykat wrote:

I'm wondering why we never have an influx of help me with my Aspie GF threads. Are us girls that much less troublesome?

Maybe guys are just less likely to be comfortable talking about their feelings and relationships than NT females. I did actually have an ex who used to visit WP a few years ago, back when I was initially dx'd, in an attempt to learn more about my 'issues,' but he never posted much or complained about me on an open forum, thank God.

Daemonic-Jackal
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05 Jan 2012, 12:52 pm

PaintingDiva wrote:

It would save everyone a lot of time including the NT posters, if there was a separate forum for the gosh I think my BF is aspergers and doesn't know it, should I tell him and oh by the way here is a list of the awful stuff he has done so far in our relationship....

I am having a very hard time in discerning what is actually asperger related in the object of their affection's behaviors and what is just the same old, same old, 'he is just not that into you' male behavior. You understand what I am saying?

I find many of the NT postings so far sound very familiar to, any other advice column website where the woman is unhappy with her man and asks, 'why does he DO this' and the answer invariably is, 'he is just not that into you, set up the No Contact Rule and fast' and move on.

Not to mention, none of these ladies has realized that they are sharing all their private matters on this website and if the BF does decide, oh right I am Aspergers, that is why I am such a jerk to you, and comes to this website for information, advice and support, he might be a tiny bit put out to see all his issues on display here......

Ah the internet, still the wild west of sharing too much and no there is no privacy on the web.....

And there lies some good points well made, maybe the guys in question are just douchbags and/or have issues of their own which they should deal with in their own time instead of taking it out on those who don't deserve the grief.

The other side of the coin (which is what I was trying to point out in my original post but seems to have been overlooked) is that a woman trying to get an AS diagnosis for her bf when he hasn't been officially diagnosed could easily use that as leverage/ammunition for being emotionally abusive. I.e You're getting everything wrong because you have aspergers etc.

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hyperlexian
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05 Jan 2012, 12:59 pm

nick007 wrote:

Asp-Z wrote:

nick007 wrote:

I'm concerned because most of those women are with Aspie guys who sound like real jerks. Those post may scare women away from Aspies. There are plenty of Aspies who are NOT jerks like that but they are a lot less post about them. Are most Aspie guys jerks or are Aspie jerks better able to get in relationships

Well if an Aspie isn't a "jerk" then the relationship is more likely to be successful and there's no need to ask for help on forums.

Yeah that's probably it but I find it very frustrating & disheartening that those are a majority of post by NT women here. I wish more NT women would come here to get advice before their relationship is majorly dysfunctional like that. I think this forum could be a great recourse to couples who are wanting to work together but finding it difficult because of the communication or other issues. I guess I would like to see more happier outcomes here

^^^yes, agreed.

JanuaryMan wrote:

TipoftheAsperg

^^^i love this name!

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The-Raven
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05 Jan 2012, 1:42 pm

blueroses wrote:

krazykat wrote:

I'm wondering why we never have an influx of help me with my Aspie GF threads. Are us girls that much less troublesome?

I agree I think its that NT women like talking things through.

Having said that, Ive had a few threads made about me by my ex on here and other forums so it might be that other aspie women just have not reached my level of evil badness lol.

techstepgenr8tion
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05 Jan 2012, 3:40 pm

With all the mentions of Wrongplanet in that article I wouldn't be surprised if we'll have a pretty goodsized wave of new members in general over the next month or so.

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ghostar
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05 Jan 2012, 3:51 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

With all the mentions of Wrongplanet in that article I wouldn't be surprised if we'll have a pretty goodsized wave of new members in general over the next month or so.

I agree. That is actually how I found WP last month.

Butterflair
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05 Jan 2012, 5:06 pm

As an NT woman who came her over 3 years ago looking for advice, I have to say that the people here were very kind to me and helpful and I gained a ton of knowledge to apply to my life. In fact it probably saved my relationship because someone else could explain to me what might be happening when he wasn't in contact (shut downs). I never presented him as being a jerk, in fact I love and adore this man. I thank those who took the time to help me back then.

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05 Jan 2012, 11:18 pm

Aspie guys/men, more often than not, have a lot of difficulty attracting girls/women. Based on the threads here, it often takes at least 20 years before an aspie guy finds his first girlfriend. So, when a romance starts, the excitement over finding a girlfriend overrides any inconveniences resulting from the relationship not being ideal. The girlfriend may be too controlling, too needy, or possess some other quality that warrants a complaint or at least a conversation with a third party. But the elation and excitement of "oh my god, I have a girlfriend" is often stronger than "my girlfriend is [complaint-worthy trait]". Also, given the fact that it takes a very long time to find one in the first place, aspie guys may feel that it is not their place to complain when their relationship has something they don't enjoy.

Not so with girls/women. Being more choosy by nature and often having an easier time finding romance than guys do, they may feel like they deserve to speak up when their boyfriend doesn't do what they consider to be normal in a relationship. At times, they may also be looking for third parties' confirmation of their decision to break up with the said boyfriend when they start the threads. Hence, the influx of all those "help me with my aspie boyfriend" threads. Speaking of which, some of those threads are quite unsettling; I know for a fact that I would never act like those guys.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 05 Jan 2012, 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Magnus_Rex
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05 Jan 2012, 11:21 pm

Aspie1 wrote:

(...)Not so with girls/women. Being more choosy by nature and often having an easier time finding a relationship than guys do, they may feel like they deserve to speak up when their boyfriend doesn't do what they consider to be normal in a relationship.(...)

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